Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I really don't know what to call this.... (language warning, and REALLY long!)

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I really don't know what to call this.... (language warning, and REALLY long!)

    Mods, as far as I can tell, this fits best here. If I'm mistaken, please accept my apologies and move it where you feel it's more appropriate.

    I temp a few days a week for a company that provides road-safety services to utility companies. We’re the guys that set up cones and the flashing arrow signs, close lanes, and occasionally direct traffic when the utility crews are working in or near the roadway. Some companies have their own personnel for this, but this company is a contractor.

    As such, I don’t have ‘customers’, per se. But I do deal with people who, while seated in the large motorized hunk of metal, plastic, glass, and rubber, become even bigger assholes than they are naturally.

    Yesterday, we were sent to close one side of a two-lane road in a small, semi-rural community. The road itself is only about a mile long, and it’s one of three roads within five miles that permit access to the major highway close by. The utility crews had their trucks on the west side of the road; and we were directing traffic through the east lane. Traffic was actually light; the only time anyone had to wait more than about 30 seconds or so was when the crews had to move large equipment.

    ASSHOLE NUMBER ONE

    There’s a pickup truck towing a trailer through the zone. He’s already been waved through by the guy on the other end. A guy in a little sports car coming from my direction basically ignores the stop sign I have in my hand, the fact that the rather large pickup truck is ALREADY in the one-lane zone and headed directly toward him, and continues into the zone, only to stomp hard on his brakes when he realizes there’s nowhere for him to go to avoid the pickup. He actually GETS OUT of the car and starts screaming at the pickup driver to get out of his way.

    1. He was there FIRST, pal. He was already on his way through when you popped up over the hill at a high rate of speed. That’s why I had a STOP sign in my hand – to STOP you from flying into the zone.

    2. Yes, the stop sign in my hand actually DOES give me legitimate authority to control traffic. The sign, and the attached ME, qualify as a traffic control device. You actually CAN be ticketed for ignoring it. Oh, and ‘road work’ qualifies as a construction zone. Fines are typically doubled in such areas, and if there’s an injury or death as a result of your asshattishness, you can be sent to prison for a substantial term. Just something to think about.

    3. Don’t piss and moan you weren’t aware of the work zone. No fewer than three portable, bright orange road signs are posted on either end of the zone warning of, in order: road work, a one-lane road, and a flagger ahead– the first being a minimum of 500 feet prior to your reaching the work area. Not my fault you don’t pay attention.

    4. The pickup is TOWING A TRAILER. While I’m certain it IS possible for him to back up, it is not particularly easy to do. Even if he WAS at fault, it will be faster for YOU to back up and get out of his way.

    We clear on this? Fine. Now that the truck and trailer are out of the way, you can go now. Yeah, and tearing off at wide-open throttle and flying through that narrow area where at least a dozen men are working in close quarters? Way to show ME, jerk. Where’s a cop when you need one?

    ASSHOLE NUMBER TWO

    A big box truck approaches the zone – but the zone is fairly narrow, thanks to the road itself being narrow and a stabilizing outrigger from one of the utility trucks being partially in the open lane. There’s a fairly large driveway at my end of the zone, so he could have easily turned that truck around and gone another way; indeed, I’d have helped stop traffic for him to accomplish that. Instead, he guns the engine and flat ignores me, proceeding into the one-lane zone.

    My partner on the other end sees this and has to frantically stop traffic that he’d actually given right of way to, and we both watch as the truck approaches the point where the utility truck’s outrigger reaches into the roadway. The driver of the box truck starts easing to the right to avoid it – further and further, as the passenger-side wheels drop off the pavement and into the deep ditch on the side of the road. The truck lurches to the right as the driver decides to balls it out, but that ditch is filled with mud and there’s little traction. The truck slows, despite his having the throttle wide-open, and grinds to a halt, the wheels still spinning.

    And we all watch in horror as the passenger-side drive wheel, mired deep in that ditch, continues spraying mud everywhere, digging itself in even deeper. This, of course, causes the truck to continue pitching to the right…

    And then, rather suddenly, over it went, onto its side.

    Amazingly, no one was hurt. And I was even more astonished when, three hours later, they finally managed to right the truck and the damage was actually minimal. No idea about the cargo, though.

    Do you have any idea just how much paperwork we have to fill out about that?

    ASSHOLE NUMBER THREE

    While that box truck was lying on its side and several of the utility workers were helping to get the driver out, another vehicle approaches the zone from my end – a Lincoln Navigator (pretty damned big luxury SUV) this time. I, of course, have the stop sign in my hand and wave him down.

    I go to his window and explain that it’ll be some time before the road is cleared, and offered to help him turn around and even pointed out a detour.

    He got this annoyed expression on his face. “You mean I can’t go through HERE?”

    I just gaped at him. You could very plainly SEE from where we were standing that a truck was on its side, and people were working to get the driver, who MIGHT have been injured (we didn’t know yet), out of the overturned vehicle. And the only thought in his head was how INCONVENIENT it was that he’d have to drive three or four miles out of his way.

    Finally, he snaps “FINE!” and throws the vehicle in reverse, chirping tires and flinging gravel as he turns around. Yeah, sorry about having ruined your whole day, buddy. Go fuck yourself, willya?

    ASSHOLE NUMBER FOUR

    Otherwise known as MY BOSS, who essentially reamed my ass about ‘allowing’ the box truck to go through the zone. Um, it’s simple physics, you fucking prick. The truck weighs about a hundred times what I do, and when the fucker driving it decides he’s going on WITHOUT my permission, I’m going to get the hell out of its way – because you know much damage I’m going to do to that truck when it flattens me in the roadway? The correct answer is ‘NONE AT ALL.”

    You ain’t paying me NEAR enough for this sort of shit. And by the way, perhaps if you’d thrown the extra money for a volunteer off-duty officer, none of this shit would have happened. People tend to be a bit more respectful of the traffic-control crew when there’s a nice, fast Police Interceptor parked nearby.

    Yeah. And, by the way, we’re FINE, thank you for asking. You fucking overpaid pompous-ass jerkoff .

    All this shit happened yesterday, and I’m STILL shaking.

    Someone please tell me – Why DOESN’T the world just fucking die already?

  • #2
    Wow, what a bunch of assholes. Here's a drink of your choice to help calm the jitters.
    "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
    -Mira Furlan

    Comment


    • #3
      Man, I'm really sorry - I don't post here much really, but had to chip in to give you a , a and a for your work. You guys really don't deserve that kind of crap. Shame your boss wouldn't get a volunteer officer as well =(

      Comment


      • #4
        But I do deal with people who, while seated in the large motorized hunk of metal, plastic, glass, and rubber, become even bigger assholes than they are naturally.
        You may be giving them too much credit. I suspect for most all of them, what you was WAS their natural asshole state.

        Comment


        • #5
          Asshole #1: In a case of a small car ignoring the flagger and coming nose-to-nose with a large truck, the small car WILL back up - his choice of gas or diesel.

          Asshole #2: He clearly didn't know how far his truck extended. Unless, by "box truck", you mean a U-haul with someone moving their own stuff, someone is looking for a new career (not just a new job), since the company would be facing BIG bills for the recovery (even before any fines come into play).

          I wonder - does the heavy penalty for causing injury apply even in cases where the asshole is the person injured by their own stupidity (as could easily have happened for either of these two)?
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

          Comment


          • #6
            Omg. Hugs n booze. Lots of booze. For that matter, lots of hugs!

            Comment


            • #7
              Sounds like you found the Spaceballs on the road.

              My sympathies and have a drink on me.

              B
              "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
              I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth wolfie View Post
                Asshole #2: He clearly didn't know how far his truck extended. Unless, by "box truck", you mean a U-haul with someone moving their own stuff, someone is looking for a new career (not just a new job), since the company would be facing BIG bills for the recovery (even before any fines come into play).
                No, it was a big commercial day-cab truck with a cargo box, the sort of thing used to deliver furniture or major appliances. Though this one didn't have any markings.

                Quoth wolfie View Post
                I wonder - does the heavy penalty for causing injury apply even in cases where the asshole is the person injured by their own stupidity (as could easily have happened for either of these two)?
                Well, obviously these laws were written in an effort to protect road-work crews, but I've no idea whether they extend to pedestrians, other motorists, or even the person at fault.

                Comment


                • #9
                  It's sad that they had to be written. In a decent world, people would respect that a road work crew is human.
                  Seshat's self-help guide:
                  1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                  2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                  3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                  4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                  "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Seshat -- Sadly, it's been my experience that waaay too many people in cars seem to think that being in their gigantic metal Box-o-Compensation-for-Something somehow elevates them above mere pedestrians or bikers, just as assholes in stores regard workers as being less than human.
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth ADeMartino View Post
                      No, it was a big commercial day-cab truck with a cargo box, the sort of thing used to deliver furniture or major appliances. Though this one didn't have any markings.
                      I'd have checked for a "How's my driving?" sticker, and called that one in.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Zapper View Post
                        I'd have checked for a "How's my driving?" sticker, and called that one in.
                        Well, I won't lie - I didn't think of it. But I'm pretty sure his boss already knows about it anyway.

                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X