School Tales

[Rapscallion]

A conversation at work today reminded me of some of the classic tales from school.

For example, in the first form (first of seven years at school), one of our brighter sparks had an idea. Every morning started with Assembly, where our headmaster stood at a podium at the front of the stage with the choir behind him and before him were the first form, the second form, and so forth to the back of the room, with the prefects down the side wall.

The bright idea from one of my peers was to bring in several cloves of garlic. I didn't partake in this, but many of my fellow first formers did, and when the daily hymn started the first form was rather lusty in its approach to volume.

A wave of garlic breath assailed the stage and choir. Several mouths were washed that day.

Anyone else play 'Daleks'? Get a first former in a room of prefects and sit him on a roller chair. Treat as you would a pinball.

Got an obnoxious first former in a library full of prefects? Dangle him out of the window by his ankles. Of course, the way the headmaster walked out of his special door (only he could use that door) at that exact moment instilled perfect silence as a first former's head was perhaps three feet above his without any desire on the part of anyone above to be caught.

There are probably more that need to surface. Share your own.

Rapscallion

[Mishi]

One day, when I was in 8th grade, the history teacher poked her head in the door and informed our class that our teacher wouldn't be in for a week as he had a lizard problem. "A what?!" we all asked.
She then explained "Well, when my dog eats lizards, she foams at the mouth and has severe diarrhoea." Poor bloke never lived that down, and the history teacher couldn't understand what was so funny.

[fireheart]

bg: there are two AFL clubs in my state known as the Adelaide Crows and Port Adelaide Power (ugh).

When I was in 4th grade, we had a principal that supported the Crows and the deputy supported the Power. This was to the extent that both of them had scarves on their doors.

On the day of the Showdown (when both teams played each other), we had a school assembly. The setup was that there was an aisle down the middle, dividing us as needed. All is quiet and we're wondering where the principal is. The deputy is there, but where's the principal?

All of a sudden, the principal comes bolting into the hall with the deputy's Port Power Scarf, throws it down on the floor and jumps up and down on top of it!

In Grade Six, at the school camp, it was us and another class or two. We all formed our groups, although my male friends were in another group, for who we would bunk with. The men were given one dorm and initially we were given another dorm AWAY from the men. Come camp day however, and we were allocated the dorm next to the men. Not SO bad, until the men discovered a way to perve on the women through a hole that was too big for a pipe to go through. We ended up plugging the hole with toilet paper our first night. (and these were my friends!)

Grade 11 and a few weeks before the end of term, the Year 12 students had their muck-up day (basically a day involving waterbombs, squirt guns and pranking). I arrived at the school and it was chaos. One thing that sticks out in my mind was one of the students decided to do a run down the school "corridor" (affectionately labelled the "spine" because all the classrooms and other buildings branched off from it, but apart from one or two locations, it was primarily an outdoor corridor) wearing nothing but nude-coloured tighty whiteys, a fairy skirt and what appeared to be a top, all made from condoms.

Grade 12: I happened to be cleaning my flute out after a practice and was doing it in the study room. One of the more vain girls asked me what I was doing and I explained that I was cleaning my flute. Now, in order to clean out a flute, you need to feed a cloth through a hole on top of a rod then stuff it in and out of the flute parts. At the time, I happened to be doing just that with the head joint.
The way I'd said it must've been hilarious I suppose because they all pissed themselves laughing!

[Mishi]

(snipped) One thing that sticks out in my mind was one of the students decided to do a run down the school "corridor"wearing nothing but nude-coloured tighty whiteys, a fairy skirt and what appeared to be a top, all made from condoms.

That reminds me of one of my school's traditions - we auctioned off the teachers for a day, with the proceeds going towards school formal/graduation. (Anyone who bought a teacher was then auctioned off on a different day). Anyway, one year we ended up with one of the very dour Math teachers dressed in a sparkly tutu with fairy wings, a tiara, braided hair and slathered-on make-up doing 'ballet' near the canteen.