I really think July may kill me (vulger, as always)

[KhirasHY]

Good lord...working Night Audit in July has got to be one of my least favorite experiences (coming in just after New Years Eve), simply because of the unrepentant stupidity that it seems to bring out in people. I'm not sure if it's the fact that school is out, or maybe it's so hot their brains are baking in their skulls, but something is seriously wrong with people this month. Now, we've been extremely busy, because Colorado is just a busy place in the summer: lots of summer sports like baseball, softball, volleyball, and soccer, plus people come for the mountains, and many other reasons. Colorado does kick ass, so I get that part, but we get extremely busy...and this is in addition to the large amount of business that comes to town anyway for things like conventions and corporate training. Of course, July is also one of the peak vacation times of the year, which amounts to a lot of people.

So basically, "shit be busy" would be the technical term of the month. This has all happened in the past couple weeks...the week of July 4th, we were packed every day, and sold out. The week before, as well as this week, we're almost sold out, which is leading to a lot of the same discussions. Here are some of the gems.

Ah, it begins.

SC: Yeah, how much are your rooms tonight?
Me: Right now, we are completely sold out.
SC: ...But how much are they?
Me: There's no rate to give you, we have no rooms.
SC: You don't have any Kings?
Me: We have no rooms at all.
SC: What about rooms with one or two queens?
Me: We have no rooms at all.
SC: Not even a suite?
Me: That would be a room, so if I have no rooms at all, it would include those, yes.
SC: Not even on the first floor?
Me: No.
SC: I'd take a closet.
Me: NO!
SC: Ugh let's call somewhere else *click*

I don't know what bewilders me more here: the fact that we played the "asked and answered" game so many times, the fact that you don't know the definition of "a room", or the fact that you think bothering someone else is somehow a punishment for me. See, let me explain something to you: I work the graveyard shift. If there was ever a sign that someone was not bothered by people not wanting to talk to him, it would be the fact that they work when people tend to be passed out asleep.



The only thing that bothers me is that you're going to attempt to talk to another person, which is something I never, EVER, want to inflict on anyone. There's a chance you might be contagious, in which case we would all be doomed. So please, just sit in a corner for a while and try not to get confused by something complicated like a pretzel.

Hello darkness my old friend.

On another day, not sold out...

SC: I would like to reserve a room for a friend of mine?
Me: Ok, all we have left are non-smoking rooms with one King bed, the rate is ($$$), would you like to reserve that?
SC: Sure.
Me: Ok, how many people would it be?
SC: One adult, one child.
Me: And the guest name?
SC: Lastname, Firstname (someone who regrets knowing you, I'm sure)
Me: Alright...(gets the rest of the info), only other thing I need is a credit card number to hold the reservation.
SC: Ok...(I hear her talking away from the phone asking someone to hand her a card...and wait in silence for 2 minutes wondering how this is so difficult.) O...k...
Me: All set?
SC: Yeah, it's a Visa...
Me: And the number?
SC: ####....####...####.................uh.......hold on...
Me:
SC: ...... (another 2 minutes pass) ....uh, yeah, we'd like to cancel. Thanks!
Me: That is part of my life I never get back...



Take the frigging hint, people!

We have a dining room that only serves for a short period each night, then our people try to go through and clean it as much as they can. This is usually done before I get in at night, so I know something is seriously bad when they are still at it. Sure enough, I went over to help a bit and it was a disaster area...food all over the floor, tables were nasty, but people were still in the damn dining room...so the manager decided to try something, and turned off all the lights. This accomplished...nothing.



About 20 people sat, in the dark, acting as if nothing had happened. Boss finally went over and told them we needed to clean, so they needed to move...and their response was to move over to the area we had just mopped!!! Manager (who is a bit of a pansy) couldn't figure it out, so I finally just walked up and said "Good evening, sorry folks but the dining room is closed for the night, we need you to clear out please." I got a lot of catbutt faces from the crowd, but I simply walked away and turned out the last lights in the room, went back, and said "Let's go!" We had to remop the area, since they (in 5 minutes) managed to completely trash the floor again. But seriously...take the clue. Gee, the lights are off in the dining room, I guess it must still be open with mood lighting for cats! Catlights. Neat!!!

Error, response not expected, system shutting down.

Me: Thank you for calling (Hotel), can you please hold for a brief moment?
SC: This is Gary, can I ask you some questions?
Me: *presses hold button*



I see you've fallen in to my little trap. See, it's a little game I play...when I ask you if you would hold, what I'm really saying is "you get to listen to our hold music now" in a nicer way. I know it sounds like I'm giving you an option, but I'm not. I'm busy, I've got 2 people on hold already, and another person in front of me. You're #4 in line, at best. Of course, it couldn't end there...as I finish checking someone in, I get two more calls (both on hold), and as I'm about to pick up on the first person holding, I get another call.

Me: Thank you for calling (Hotel), can you please hold for a brief moment?
SC: No! This is Gary, you already had me on hold and I have questions!
Me: We are very busy tonight, sir, and there were two people on hold before you. Two more people were on hold after you, and this puts you back at the end of the line. Please hold. *click*



I managed to keep this up for about 15 minutes until Gary gave up...he just couldn't fathom that hanging up and trying again meant he was back at the end of the line, since, you know, that's how fucking lines work. It wasn't even a conscious thing on my part: our phones will only pick up the person who has been on hold the longest. He stopped calling, and it's not my fault he's an impatient prick.

Ok, that was sudden...

One of our neighboring hotels walks people to us a lot...and they are normally pretty good about it, but they have someone new working as a night auditor, and that person doesn't follow the usual pattern. The pattern is that they get someone who needs to be walked, they call to make sure I have a room, then they send the person over. This is good, this works, and I get along well with the staff over there...but their new person didn't think about that, and suddenly, I started getting an influx of walks for them. This worked...at first, but it was slower than usual since I had to make reservations for each of them while they stood there. Finally, I got a chance to call them, and let them know that I had just filled my last room...and the answer I got back was chilling.

OHW (Other Hotel Worker): Oh...the most recent walks we sent you filled you up?
Me: Oh god, something about that question worries me...how many walks have you sent over?
OHW: 12 rooms, now.
Me: *facepalm* Well...I got 7 of them, but #7 was our last room, that's why I was calling since I didn't hear from you...so I've got 5 people that I'm gonna have to send away too?
OHW: Uh...um...
Me: (Shit.) Ok...have you talked to the other hotels around us to see who has rooms?
OHW: Yeah...only you guys did...I thought you still had some...
Me: Well, we *did*, but you guys gotta check up with me to make sure that's still a thing...ok, tell you what, you call (nearby hotel 1, 2, and 3) and I'll call (nearby hotel 4, 5, and 6), as soon as you find one with rooms for these guys, call me back so I can tell them where to go. I'll see if the others have rooms.



There are no words for how pissed the 10 people who tromped into my lobby a moment later were. Not pissed at me, thankfully, for they fully understood that I was already trying to un-cluster this particular fuck. It still took about 20 minutes to find places for each of them (we had to send them to 3 separate locations) and get them set...I guess it's a fun learning tool for OHW. She sure as hell made sure to call me first tonight before she walked more people here...


Aaaaand rest...for now...

[RealUnimportant]

I love how Gary was a self-pwner. Best way for them to learn is when they're the only ones doing it to themselves

[wolfie]

I would be pissed if hotel A walked me to hotel B, which was also full - especially if, during the time it took me to get there and find out that they hadn't checked room availability, hotel C (collectively the rest of the hotels in town) filled up. In other words, there HAD been rooms available elsewhere when I arrived at hotel A, so they could have walked me to a place with an available room, but due to their error I wound up unable to get a room anywhere.

[cleorose]

We had this issue alot in Disney. Since we were a value resort they book usually 10% over during the busy season. So what does this mean? Some lucky people get walked to a better hotel since we are already at the bottom of the food chain.

We ended up walking quite a few to the 3 and 4 star hotels because usually those were the only ones with availability

[Mr Hero]

Ah, it begins.

SC: Yeah, how much are your rooms tonight?
Me: Right now, we are completely sold out.
SC: ...But how much are they?
Me: There's no rate to give you, we have no rooms.
SC: You don't have any Kings?
Me: We have no rooms at all.
SC: What about rooms with one or two queens?
Me: We have no rooms at all.
SC: Not even a suite?
Me: That would be a room, so if I have no rooms at all, it would include those, yes.
SC: Not even on the first floor?
Me: No.
SC: I'd take a closet.
Me: NO!
SC: Ugh let's call somewhere else *click*

I've gotten in the habit of just saying "Normally our rooms are $X, but tonight we're sold out."

[Caractacus_Potts]

First one reminds me of the first episode of Red Dwarf...

Lister: Where is everyone Hol?
Holly: They're dead Dave.
Lister: Who is?
Holly: Everybody Dave.
Lister: What Captain Holister?
Holly: Everybody's dead Dave.
Lister: What Todd Hunter?
Holly: Everybody's dead Dave.
Lister: What Selby?
Holly: They're all dead, everybody's dead Dave.
Lister: Peterson isn't, is he?
Holly: Everybody is dead Dave.
Lister: Not Chen?
Holly: Gorden Bennet, yes Chen, everybody, everybody's dead Dave.
Lister: Rimmer?
Holly: He's dead Dave, everybody's dead, everybody is dead Dave.
Lister: Wait, are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?
Holly: *slightly under breath* Shouldn't have let him out in the first place!

[icantbelievethesepeople]

I would be pissed if hotel A walked me to hotel B, which was also full - especially if, during the time it took me to get there and find out that they hadn't checked room availability, hotel C (collectively the rest of the hotels in town) filled up. In other words, there HAD been rooms available elsewhere when I arrived at hotel A, so they could have walked me to a place with an available room, but due to their error I wound up unable to get a room anywhere.

Why would you be pissed? I'm guessing that finding another hotel for guests is done as a courtesy, I certainly don't waste my time calling around other stores to find a phone if I'm out. Do the customers ask me to? Of course, am I going to make any money wasting my time calling other stores? Nope. Am I under any obligation to do that? Nope. Yes as adults we are expected to do the work of finding the product and or service we are seeking and not bitch and moan about our own poor planning.

[purple]

Why would you be pissed? I'm guessing that finding another hotel for guests is done as a courtesy, .

In the case of being walked, you have a booking at hotel A, they overbooked so pay for a room for you at hotel B. Not so much of a courtesy, as keeping up there end of the deal by suppling the service you booked.

[siskaren]

The reason for being pissed is that Hotel A didn't call Hotel B to make sure that they had empty rooms, and Hotel B didn't have empty rooms.

[XCashier]

I love how Gary was a self-pwner. Best way for them to learn is when they're the only ones doing it to themselves

You expect them to learn?!

[wolfie]

The reason for being pissed is that Hotel A didn't call Hotel B to make sure that they had empty rooms, and Hotel B didn't have empty rooms.

And the situation I mentioned that would REALLY piss me off is if, when I arrived at hotel A, there were still rooms elsewhere (but not at hotel B). If they'd bothered to check with hotel B, they would have been able to call hotel C and get me a room to be "walked" to. Through their assumption that hotel B had rooms, the time wasted in "walking" me to hotel B resulted in hotel C filling up, so there was NO ROOM AT ALL for me. Note that this hasn't actually happened to me - merely expanding on what could happen due to "walking" a guest to somewhere else that's already full.

[KhirasHY]

Why would you be pissed? I'm guessing that finding another hotel for guests is done as a courtesy, I certainly don't waste my time calling around other stores to find a phone if I'm out. Do the customers ask me to? Of course, am I going to make any money wasting my time calling other stores? Nope. Am I under any obligation to do that? Nope. Yes as adults we are expected to do the work of finding the product and or service we are seeking and not bitch and moan about our own poor planning.

They pretty much hit the nail on the head...in hotel vernacular, if we're just full and someone is a "walk in" (ie, someone who didn't have a reservation), we can be nice and call around for a place that might have rooms. But a "walk" is when a hotel oversells on their rooms (almost every chain does this as much as they can). They figure they will get some no-shows, and if they are lucky, they will fill every room, and charge several people for not showing up as well. However, when too many people show up, they walk them to another hotel, and pay for the nights stay...so when they walked people to me and I was full, they had already screwed up and made people mad at them, and then they made it 10x worse by sending them to a place that also didn't have rooms.

So basically, it wasn't the guests fault, it was the hotels.