Wherein I Try To Defend My Groin

[friendofjimmyk]

You smell like pickles and sadness.

I just love your descriptions. Where do you come up with this stuff?

He never called back. I assume because he succumbed to alcohol poisoning.


Me: “Alright and your name please?”
SC: “Uh…ragabblleffulslalsaaal………blaraaf……<click>”

Ok, now he’s succumbed to alcohol poisoning.

Well, at least we know what happened and the world is just a bit smarter now.

[edible_hat]

….there’s a receipt….on the floor…so someone must have snuck into your apartment?

My grandmother used to do stuff like that. "There's a footprint on the floor, it was those Vietnamese people from up the street!" (never mind that it was the same brand and size as her gardening shoes) "The TV remote control batteries are flat, a Jew snuck in and stolen the good batteries!" (never mind that she watched 7 hours of TV a day) "A bowl of cat food on the floor! The next door neighbour left it there because she's jelous of my garden!" (never mind the 2 pet cats who she fed 17 times a day because she kept forgetting she'd fed them)

But technically there is one other Las Vegas in New Mexico.

See the movie Freedom Downtime. There's a scene where the carload of hackers arrive at the whatever hotel in Las Vegas and the hotel people have never heard of the convention they're supposed to be attending. Because they're in New Mexico and the convention's in Nevada.

How much beer / whiskey / gas huffing / blows to the head do you have to endure to reach a mental state where you seriously have to sit down for a minute and think to figure out whether or not you’re Michael Jackson?

If my brother's experience is anything to go by, it's a dozen beers and somewhere between one and two jugs of bloody mary. He doesn't remember insisting he was Michael Jackson but he does remember waking up in a gutter with an ambulance crew standing over him.

I should mention also that he thought he was the Michael Jackson who runs http://www.beerhunter.com/ and not the singer.

and my brother's name doesn't even contain any of the same letters as "Michael".

[Gravekeeper]

I'm afraid to ask, but what do you do on your time off from work anyways? Do you shoot random pedestrians with a water pistol with red dye in the water?

I spend my first day off killing someone or something in video games. Or watching amusing movies/tv/books. Basically I need homicide or laughter after work. Either one will do. Bonus points if I can work both into the same activity.

My first day off kinda sucks since I have to stay up all day then no matter how much sleep I get that night I'm still like a recovering coma patient for the duration of the next day. -.-

It will happen to you too. One day when you least expect it you will find yourself out in some odd combination of clothing that here to fore would have been completely unacceptable.

The problem here is the oddest combination of clothing I could get out of my closet would be like shorts, sandals, a dress shirt and a claymore. No, really. I have one. It's sitting over by the laundry hamper.....

There's a katana, two wakazashi and a longsword sitting by the bed too....

So if I ever snap it won't be a shooting spree. It'll be one of those Fark.com "Man with katana" stories.

Second time, there was a job vacancy which fitted my skills, in the army, initial interview _now_. So I ended up in the army recruting office in my pyjamas.

Hahahahha. But did you get the job? ^^

Um, I think you mean "entered." If Management is entertaining suites when no one is there, they really need to work on their social skills.

Yes, I did. >< But most of this stuff is written around 3-4am. I have a bad habit of doing that. If I'm tired or being distracted by something I'll unconsciously type out a completely different word that starts with the same letter but is only relevant to the train of thought distracting me.

I can't help it. My mind is broken. ;p

Why do you need an excuse? Seriously, I once voted on Election Day in a court jester's outfit!

The outfits they had were awesome. They were basically kind of like black Chinese longcoats:



I don't think I could pull that off for everyday wear. ;p

Now you know what it's like to work in a restaurant.

I have worked in a restaurant. <cough> Back in high school. My mom was the general manager/overlord of a restaurant. So that was my summer job. It wasn't too bad except for the tourists.

That was actually the second restaurant my mom ran. The owners sold the first one after a few years so she had to find another dining establishment to establish her reign over. =p

Sounds like the same way we know it's summer. Some guy in a bomber jacket, hiking boots and a speedo (or some such version of the outfit)

That I haven't seen yet and if there's any mercy in this world I never shall.

what do you mean, Scotland?(your'e probably right)

My family IS Scottish. ><

I'm beginning to wonder if there are any places around here where people call and order clothes/stuff from catalogues. If so, I wonder if we have any local GKs...

I like to try and think I'm unique and special. It helps me sleep at night. ;p

Well, at least he wasn't aiming for your groin....was he??????

No, he just needed a cuddle apparently.

Here, have a cookie for knowing about Las Vegas, NM.

Sweet. Though I'll pass on the aging naked hippies...

GK, maybe you should invest in a bike... assuming they are allowed on the skytrain you can place it between your crotch on the unwashed (or cs.com apparently in at least a few cases) masses.

They are but you can't ride them ON the Skytrain. People have enough trouble keeping their balance without straddling something.

No dude, it's the official Coat of Arms for the Eastern Shore of Nova Scotia, which is where I moved to get away from the mold and weirdness after living on the Wet Coast for the first 25 years of my life.

I did the opposite. I was born on Prince Edward Island and we eventually fled to the west coast to get away from the mold and the weirdness. ;p

I just love your descriptions. Where do you come up with this stuff?

Mine is a damaged mind. -.-

[Balgram]

Me: “and your name please?”
SC: “Michael.”
Me: “Ok, last name?”
SC: “Jackson.”
Me: “…….”
SC: “…….”
Me: “….Michael Jackson?”
SC: “Yeah.”
Me: “….your name is really Michael Jackson?”
SC: “Uh…..oh. Wait, no. <lastname>, Michael <lastname>.”

My religious leader (bishop) is named Michael Jackson. His claim to fame is that he was Michael Jackson first.

Geez, I cannot believe how glad I am that I do not have your job.

The problem here is the oddest combination of clothing I could get out of my closet would be like shorts, sandals, a dress shirt and a claymore. No, really. I have one. It's sitting over by the laundry hamper.....

There's a katana, two wakazashi and a longsword sitting by the bed too....

Ah, I actually have this problem too. In addition to the swords I have a decent collection of wooden weaponry, and I've taken up collecting knives too. Add the fact that my karate uniform is always nearby my usual clothes and I get dressed in the dark and...

I have to be careful not to go rampaging throughout the town by accident.

[Jester]

Seriously?

Yes, I seriously went to the polls in my full court jester outfit. Hell, I even posted pictures (picture?) of it here in CS.com. But then, I AM the Jester, so this shouldn't be THAT much of a shock, if you think about it. And, this being Key Weird West, the folks at the polls weren't THAT put out to see me show up. Can't wait to try that particular stunt my first Election Day back in PHOENIX, where such shenanigans are a bit less common.

Regarding the weaponry y'all are discussing, I only have a sword and a dagger, but the dagger is displayed prominently on my bookcase in the living room, where more than one of my nieces' boyfriends/dates have spied it. And wondered.

[Gravekeeper]

Regarding the weaponry y'all are discussing, I only have a sword and a dagger, but the dagger is displayed prominently on my bookcase in the living room, where more than one of my nieces' boyfriends/dates have spied it. And wondered.

Well, yell if you need to er, borrow anything.

This claymore is only approximately 2 inches shorter then my ex-g/f. Wish I still had that picture, it was hilarious. -.-

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

“Las Vegas….you know, the one where you snort coke off the tit of a hooker dressed like Elvis and wake up married to her the next day."

That should clear up any confusion.

Nope, still a little confused. Are we talking about a hooker dressed as Elvis, or snorting coke off the tit of a hooker while dressed as Elvis?

M

[smileyeagle1021]

My religious leader (bishop) is named Michael Jackson. His claim to fame is that he was Michael Jackson first.

.

Damn, your bishop has mine beat... mine just has a humorous name, in that he's roughly 5'2" and his name is William Liddle (pronounced a lot like a child trying to say little)

though I did have a teacher in HS who was named Michael Jackson, and the running joke would receive a Michael Jackson CD autographed by Michael Jackson himself... the CD was the teacher singing old army cadences and of course signed by the teacher, not the singer.

[Jester]

... he's roughly 5'2" and his name is William Liddle...

Amusingly, one of my favorite coworkers is the shortest person in the place. Her last name is, believe it or not, Short.

[gaspode]

GK HAS GOT A CLAYMORE, tell you what, I will apologize for the Scottish comment(but you started it)

[ta2ooed1]

3) To the Circus de Soleil performers heading downtown: You guys are awesome. I wish I had a valid excuse to wear an outfit like that in public. -.-

WOOT! Almost completely OT but my dad just asked me if I wanted to go with him and my mom to the show on them

I have the official parents of awesome!

[Titi]

off topic, but guess what someone came into my job wearing yesterday?

MP3 Sunglasses!

And yes they do look even stupider on a person then on the website. When he put the ear bud in it took all my strength not to yell, "OMG!" and laugh is his face. (He was a really nice customer.) They are the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.

[Sorianna]

Yes, I seriously went to the polls in my full court jester outfit. Hell, I even posted pictures (picture?) of it here in CS.com. But then, I AM the Jester, so this shouldn't be THAT much of a shock, if you think about it.

Regarding the weaponry y'all are discussing, I only have a sword and a dagger, but the dagger is displayed prominently on my bookcase in the living room, where more than one of my nieces' boyfriends/dates have spied it. And wondered.

I wasn't so much surprised that you went to the polls dressed as a jester as I was that you went to the polls dressed as a jester. If you see what I mean. So very awesome.

Yeah, I don't have a sword yet, but I have a few nice daggers scattered around. What can I say? I like sharp pointy things.

[Pagan]

I must be one of the only people in the US who's been to Las Vegas, NM, more than Las Vegas, Nevada.

Unless you live in NM. Been to Las Vegas, NM several times....never once been to Las Vegas, NV.

Invade?

One word - Bannockburn. (Yes, I know the answer to that, "Culloden". But you get my point. )

a claymore. No, really. I have one. It's sitting over by the laundry hamper.....

There's a katana, two wakazashi and a longsword sitting by the bed too....

My family IS Scottish. ><

Which explains the sharp, pointy objects! I've only got a short sword, dirk, and sgian dubh.

I'm Scots, too, as well as Irish (with some Norman and Danish Viking thrown in for good measure!).

Sweet. Though I'll pass on the aging naked hippies...

You might want to be careful in Santa Fe, then, too.

GK HAS GOT A CLAYMORE, tell you what, I will apologize for the Scottish comment(but you started it)

Just remember, most of us do have the aforementioned sharp, pointy objects and are not really shy about using them!

[Sliceanddice]

pagen we are twins im danish and norwegian viking, welsh, scottish and irish!!!