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Dear Owner of the big white dog:
I'm so glad you have a friendly dog. Really, I am. But your friendly dog should remain in his own yard. I happened upon your giant ball of fluff while walking my dog. Not the beagle, who's usually pretty good on her walks, but the coonhound who quite frankly is not well behaved on a leash. We were on the sidewalk and your dog marched right up to mine.
At first, I thought maybe you, dear Owner, were nearby and would come collect your dog momentarily. You see, I was concerned because my dog doesn't have the best track record for being nice to other dogs. He gets along great with his sister and the neighbors' dog, but he doesn't like it when other dogs run right up to him while on his walk. I think it's something about being on a leash that makes him nervous or grumpy. At first, he tolerated your dog's sniffing. But he didn't like it when we tried to be on our way and your dog kept following us. Lucky for your dog, I was watching mine and was able to separate them at the first signs of growling.
Now here, dear Owner, is my bigger problem. I was able to look at your dog's tags. First, thank you for having your dog microchipped. That's great. Really. But there was no tag that listed his name or your address. So I had no idea if this was a dog that belonged in the neighborhood or had wandered very far from home. Had I been able to discern that information, I would have put your dog back in his own yard and been along my merry way without a potential dog fight on my hands. I knocked on several doors trying to find someone who knew where your dog came from. Unfortunately, no one seemed to be home, even though there were cars in the driveway. I was about to take my dog home, come back, leash your dog and drive him to Metro Animal Services. Lucky for you, one of your neighbors came outside just then, recongized your dog, and took him home.
Apparently, he gets out regularly, so please invest in a better containment system. The next dog he runs into while he's out might not be friendly and he could get seriously hurt. Also, go to PetSmart and buy him a name tag. They're not expensive and it will make getting your wayward canine home that much easier. And you might want to start feeding him a bit more. He's looking a bit thin.
Dear Jerkfaces who leave shopping carts loose:
Thanks sooooooooo much for leaving your shopping cart in the middle of the farking parking space. For your information, I don't feel good today. I've been sick all week. My knees hurt, my back hurts, and I really didn't want to walk any farther than I had to. Thanks to your inconsiderateness, I had to park 4 spaces further back than I could have if you had just walked the 3 extra feet and put your cart in its proper place. I hope when you don't feel good and you just want to get in and out, the only space left for you is the one in the back of the lot. I hope the first space is empty save for a few shopping carts other shoppers were kind enough to leave there.
Overheard Cell Phone Conversation
SC: ...So then I called her daughter and cussed her out...
Wow. Real classy there, lady. I'm just hoping this poor daughter is an adult because it's really bad form to curse out a child. Although, if she was a teenager, she might have deserved it.
I'm so glad you have a friendly dog. Really, I am. But your friendly dog should remain in his own yard. I happened upon your giant ball of fluff while walking my dog. Not the beagle, who's usually pretty good on her walks, but the coonhound who quite frankly is not well behaved on a leash. We were on the sidewalk and your dog marched right up to mine.
At first, I thought maybe you, dear Owner, were nearby and would come collect your dog momentarily. You see, I was concerned because my dog doesn't have the best track record for being nice to other dogs. He gets along great with his sister and the neighbors' dog, but he doesn't like it when other dogs run right up to him while on his walk. I think it's something about being on a leash that makes him nervous or grumpy. At first, he tolerated your dog's sniffing. But he didn't like it when we tried to be on our way and your dog kept following us. Lucky for your dog, I was watching mine and was able to separate them at the first signs of growling.
Now here, dear Owner, is my bigger problem. I was able to look at your dog's tags. First, thank you for having your dog microchipped. That's great. Really. But there was no tag that listed his name or your address. So I had no idea if this was a dog that belonged in the neighborhood or had wandered very far from home. Had I been able to discern that information, I would have put your dog back in his own yard and been along my merry way without a potential dog fight on my hands. I knocked on several doors trying to find someone who knew where your dog came from. Unfortunately, no one seemed to be home, even though there were cars in the driveway. I was about to take my dog home, come back, leash your dog and drive him to Metro Animal Services. Lucky for you, one of your neighbors came outside just then, recongized your dog, and took him home.
Apparently, he gets out regularly, so please invest in a better containment system. The next dog he runs into while he's out might not be friendly and he could get seriously hurt. Also, go to PetSmart and buy him a name tag. They're not expensive and it will make getting your wayward canine home that much easier. And you might want to start feeding him a bit more. He's looking a bit thin.
Dear Jerkfaces who leave shopping carts loose:
Thanks sooooooooo much for leaving your shopping cart in the middle of the farking parking space. For your information, I don't feel good today. I've been sick all week. My knees hurt, my back hurts, and I really didn't want to walk any farther than I had to. Thanks to your inconsiderateness, I had to park 4 spaces further back than I could have if you had just walked the 3 extra feet and put your cart in its proper place. I hope when you don't feel good and you just want to get in and out, the only space left for you is the one in the back of the lot. I hope the first space is empty save for a few shopping carts other shoppers were kind enough to leave there.
Overheard Cell Phone Conversation
SC: ...So then I called her daughter and cussed her out...
Wow. Real classy there, lady. I'm just hoping this poor daughter is an adult because it's really bad form to curse out a child. Although, if she was a teenager, she might have deserved it.
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