I'm not kidding here
Back from a break of training and shooting for promotion...did not get, but at least I have evil minions from my time in the training department.
Me: the guy that REALLY needs a drink
Clueless Morgan (CM): Not really sucky, just clueless
Me: Your pain is my pleasure, how can I help you today?
CM: I want to upgrade my old DVR to an HD, I call you and then go to the office, right?
Me: No need, sir! Just take your old box on down to the office, tell themk that you want to upgrade to HD and that's it! Remember that your old show don't transfer though, so watch them before you change it out.
CM: So I don't have to talk to you? I just go to the office?
Me: That's right, sir! just head on down!
CM: Oh...so I just take this box down to the office?
ME: You've got it!
CM: And they'll have what I need? I don't need to talk to you at all? just go to the office?
Me: Yes, sir. Just go down to the office.
CM: Oh. You don't need to do anything?
Me: No sir, just go to the office.
CM: That's it?
Me: That's it, sir! now I notice you don't have this other service, let's talk about that.
CM: Umm..no, I may get it later, thanks for your help!
Remember, kids. When in doubt, do your job and actually try to sell the call something. Gets them off the phone every damn time