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Somedays I hate lawyers (long)
OK, some background here . . . .
For the past ten years I've been working as a legal nurse consultant. Basically what I do is review medical records and other documents, and give expert testimony on negligence and nursing malpractice. Most of my cases are correctional cases, and since I did get CO training, I sometimes opine on what the COs do if they are not performing to standard.
I charge by the hour. I have different rates for document reviews, deposition testimony, and trial testimony, with a five hour minimum charge for the latter two. My fee schedule is updated regularly with the attorneys I work with (who are great), and made available to defense attorneys (a mixed bag of nuts) prior to scheduling any deposition.
I've had to make changes to my fee schedule over the years because of defense attorneys trying to stiff me on the bill, or just being all around asshats during deposition . . . beyond being zealous for their clients. The five hour minimum is directly related to that. Kind of irritating sometimes because my rates are actually in line with what other LNCs charge, and I don't pad the bill on reviewing documents (ie I don't charge more than the actual time it takes to read everything).
I don't usually post any suck related to this because I'm careful not to talk about confidential matters related to my legal work. This doesn't have anything to do with the case. It has a lot to do with legal suck. /bg
So, a couple of months ago, I do a deposition in a correctional case. This case had multiple defendants, and in my expert opinion, the liability was pretty cut and dried. It is, as a physician friend of mine who does the same kind of work on the medical end, a "just write the check" case. I was honestly surprised this case ever got to deposition since the behaviors were so blatant and egregious. I even asked the plaintiff's counsel (lawyer for the patient's estate, the one who hired me, hereafter PC) about it and her opinion was the defendant was either trying to put off the day of reckoning, or the DC was dragging it out so he could keep billing for the case, or both.
Depositions are done before a trial. The purpose is for defense counsel to get an idea of what my expert opinion is going to be. PC is there, and also gets to ask questions, and there are rules for how these things go. They are done under oath. Because the defense counsel (DC) is the one who requests them (he doesn't have to but any lawyer who goes into court not knowing what witnesses are going to say is a stupid lawyer), he has to pay for them.
I give PC the dates I'm available, and she works it out with DC. It's actually going to be a video deposition. DC comes up to my area, but PC was not able to come so she videoed in. It's all set up at a professional court reporting company's office. I get a subpoena prior to it that has the date, and a list of documents I'm required to produce.
Usually this includes all electronic communications between me and PC (in the state this case is taking place, that's allowed). DC forgot to include it so I didn't produce them (and I don't have to). The subpoena requires a "copy" of all records PC provided me with and any other documents I used to form my opinion. He even wanted copies of some of the educational materials I use in class, and my publications (this is common actually).
Since all those documents are in electronic format, I dutifully copy everything over to CD and bring it with me to the deposition.
DC accepts the disk then looks at me with a perplexed look. "Where are the paper copies?"
Me: There are no paper copies. Everything was in electronic format, so I put it all on a CD for you.
DC (petulantly): Well, I'm accustomed to getting paper copies. I required paper copies.
Now at the time I didn't have a copy of the subpoena on me, but I didn't think that was true. Still . . . .
Me: I'm sorry. I must have misunderstood the subpoena. Since nothing was paper originally, I just put it all on disk.
DC: We have nothing to refer to for your deposition.
Ah! Now the light bulb comes on. HE hadn't bothered to bring any hard copies of his own, and was depending me to provide the documents that we would be discussing during the deposition. Now I happen to think that's pretty incompetent, since he has to take it on faith I produce the right documents, but hey, it's not my case to lose.
We spend a lot of time going on and off the record while he gets his shit together. He uses the CD and asks the court reporter to print out copies of some of the documents (he has to pay for this btw, probably 10 cents a page and I'm sure he was not happy).
No sooner do we get on the record he starts to complain about my not bringing hard copies. I repeat my apology on the record, but this is not setting a good vibe with me.
The rest of the deposition itself went fairly smoothly. Of course he challenged me on some points, and it IS an adversarial process but he wasn't an actual dickhead on the actual questions themselves. I've actually had defense lawyers turn into total pitbulls and be such assholes that the PC (a different PC) had to step in and put a stop to it on another case.
He DID check me out. Apparently he had Googled me and found my online gaming persona, and asked if that was me. I confirmed it was. I think he was looking for dirt, but can't be sure.
So we wrap everything up. One of the issues that did come up (he opened the door) was the issue of professional competence of the health care worker I'm giving my expert opinion on. I had asked for the personnel file and hadn't gotten it, so I said I would have an opinion once I reviewed it. We agreed we might need to do a telephone deposition on those documents at a later date.
I get home and a few days later I send DC my bill by certified mail.
Two months later I'm still waiting to get paid.
Two weeks ago, PC calls me. I've long since gotten the additional documents and supplemented my opinion with her. DC wants to redepose me on those documents.
Me: Well, that's great. But he still hasn't paid me for the last one.
PC: *long pause* Oh. Have you sent him a notice?
Me: It's actually going in the mail today.
PC: OK, do that. Send me some dates in the next couple of weeks and we'll see what happens.
I sent out the notice that day, then I sent PC a list of dates I was available. I haven't heard back from her on it yet.
But he's paying me up front for any future deposition work. I hate playing games about my bill. His firm is getting a phone call from me first thing Monday morning.
This really sucks. As a college professor I don't really get paid that much, not as much as I would in clinical practice. So this little bit of income is important to me. My dryer died two months ago, and I can't replace it until this bill gets paid
For the past ten years I've been working as a legal nurse consultant. Basically what I do is review medical records and other documents, and give expert testimony on negligence and nursing malpractice. Most of my cases are correctional cases, and since I did get CO training, I sometimes opine on what the COs do if they are not performing to standard.
I charge by the hour. I have different rates for document reviews, deposition testimony, and trial testimony, with a five hour minimum charge for the latter two. My fee schedule is updated regularly with the attorneys I work with (who are great), and made available to defense attorneys (a mixed bag of nuts) prior to scheduling any deposition.
I've had to make changes to my fee schedule over the years because of defense attorneys trying to stiff me on the bill, or just being all around asshats during deposition . . . beyond being zealous for their clients. The five hour minimum is directly related to that. Kind of irritating sometimes because my rates are actually in line with what other LNCs charge, and I don't pad the bill on reviewing documents (ie I don't charge more than the actual time it takes to read everything).
I don't usually post any suck related to this because I'm careful not to talk about confidential matters related to my legal work. This doesn't have anything to do with the case. It has a lot to do with legal suck. /bg
So, a couple of months ago, I do a deposition in a correctional case. This case had multiple defendants, and in my expert opinion, the liability was pretty cut and dried. It is, as a physician friend of mine who does the same kind of work on the medical end, a "just write the check" case. I was honestly surprised this case ever got to deposition since the behaviors were so blatant and egregious. I even asked the plaintiff's counsel (lawyer for the patient's estate, the one who hired me, hereafter PC) about it and her opinion was the defendant was either trying to put off the day of reckoning, or the DC was dragging it out so he could keep billing for the case, or both.
Depositions are done before a trial. The purpose is for defense counsel to get an idea of what my expert opinion is going to be. PC is there, and also gets to ask questions, and there are rules for how these things go. They are done under oath. Because the defense counsel (DC) is the one who requests them (he doesn't have to but any lawyer who goes into court not knowing what witnesses are going to say is a stupid lawyer), he has to pay for them.
I give PC the dates I'm available, and she works it out with DC. It's actually going to be a video deposition. DC comes up to my area, but PC was not able to come so she videoed in. It's all set up at a professional court reporting company's office. I get a subpoena prior to it that has the date, and a list of documents I'm required to produce.
Usually this includes all electronic communications between me and PC (in the state this case is taking place, that's allowed). DC forgot to include it so I didn't produce them (and I don't have to). The subpoena requires a "copy" of all records PC provided me with and any other documents I used to form my opinion. He even wanted copies of some of the educational materials I use in class, and my publications (this is common actually).
Since all those documents are in electronic format, I dutifully copy everything over to CD and bring it with me to the deposition.
DC accepts the disk then looks at me with a perplexed look. "Where are the paper copies?"
Me: There are no paper copies. Everything was in electronic format, so I put it all on a CD for you.
DC (petulantly): Well, I'm accustomed to getting paper copies. I required paper copies.
Now at the time I didn't have a copy of the subpoena on me, but I didn't think that was true. Still . . . .
Me: I'm sorry. I must have misunderstood the subpoena. Since nothing was paper originally, I just put it all on disk.
DC: We have nothing to refer to for your deposition.
Ah! Now the light bulb comes on. HE hadn't bothered to bring any hard copies of his own, and was depending me to provide the documents that we would be discussing during the deposition. Now I happen to think that's pretty incompetent, since he has to take it on faith I produce the right documents, but hey, it's not my case to lose.
We spend a lot of time going on and off the record while he gets his shit together. He uses the CD and asks the court reporter to print out copies of some of the documents (he has to pay for this btw, probably 10 cents a page and I'm sure he was not happy).
No sooner do we get on the record he starts to complain about my not bringing hard copies. I repeat my apology on the record, but this is not setting a good vibe with me.
The rest of the deposition itself went fairly smoothly. Of course he challenged me on some points, and it IS an adversarial process but he wasn't an actual dickhead on the actual questions themselves. I've actually had defense lawyers turn into total pitbulls and be such assholes that the PC (a different PC) had to step in and put a stop to it on another case.
He DID check me out. Apparently he had Googled me and found my online gaming persona, and asked if that was me. I confirmed it was. I think he was looking for dirt, but can't be sure.
So we wrap everything up. One of the issues that did come up (he opened the door) was the issue of professional competence of the health care worker I'm giving my expert opinion on. I had asked for the personnel file and hadn't gotten it, so I said I would have an opinion once I reviewed it. We agreed we might need to do a telephone deposition on those documents at a later date.
I get home and a few days later I send DC my bill by certified mail.
Two months later I'm still waiting to get paid.
Two weeks ago, PC calls me. I've long since gotten the additional documents and supplemented my opinion with her. DC wants to redepose me on those documents.
Me: Well, that's great. But he still hasn't paid me for the last one.
PC: *long pause* Oh. Have you sent him a notice?
Me: It's actually going in the mail today.
PC: OK, do that. Send me some dates in the next couple of weeks and we'll see what happens.
I sent out the notice that day, then I sent PC a list of dates I was available. I haven't heard back from her on it yet.
But he's paying me up front for any future deposition work. I hate playing games about my bill. His firm is getting a phone call from me first thing Monday morning.
This really sucks. As a college professor I don't really get paid that much, not as much as I would in clinical practice. So this little bit of income is important to me. My dryer died two months ago, and I can't replace it until this bill gets paid
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