Or, more accurately, "A Tale of Why one should never be rude as hell to someone who has direct control over your access to your company account, and especially not if you're a repeat offender."
Dear oh dear, accounts. If you own a business, you can register at Latekin's Aussie "Totally not a Ripoff of Home Depot" Hardware Store. You can get an account, with a $10, 000 limit. You can also get sued to hell and back for not paying that account, but that's another story. Your account is accessed through a nifty little card. Your card belongs to you. Nobody else. If your employees need access to this account, we can get them cards too. We can also set extra security up for you, so that when we scan a card on your account, it displays a nice little warning for us. "Needs Purchase Order and Job ID No," or "Must Show Company I.D," or even "Purchase Order book **** stolen, don't use numbers 1800-1900."
Now many people, upon realizing that registering your business with us means that you're now 900% more accountable for your behavior in store, tend to treat the people working the Trade Desk with a measure of cordiality and respect, because these people can cut off your account access for even looking slightly shifty during a sale. When you're dealing with large companies, you do not want to wrongly charge their accounts department.
Some people though...
Draft Order Fail
One business has repeatedly been trying to purchase things with a "Draft" PO. We have explained to them that they cannot do that, because of the sheer number of naughty people who try to put a draft through, then send the actual order through authorizing less money than they actually spent (basically so that under the terms of their purchase order, we have to refund the order because we've charged more than they gave us authorization to. Attempts to show the PO that they gave us fail, because we shouldn't have relied on a draft... argh! They get free stuff, we loose a tonne of money.)
So they start doing this at other desks, like our Tool Desk, or our Service Desk.
They refuse to stop doing this when called out, then claim that they weren't doing anything of the sort conflarn it!
They get a warning from Latekin that further breaches of the terms and conditions of their account will lead to account termination. Office manager somehow now doesn't speak English. My colleague repeats it in Italian for the gentleman. He's now apparently Greek. News to us, (since you told us you were Italian, duh, while speaking perfect English!) but whatever, point still stands, those terms and conditions were in your agreement, that you signed, saying that you understood what your obligations were.
Then you tried it at Toolshop. With Latekin's housemate. THE NEXT FRAKKIN WEEK!
No account for you sir!
Me Thinks the Tradie Doth Protest Too Much
Every. Single. time. Every single time you come in and park your overly sweaty self in front of my desk, you throw a tantrum because I ask you for a purchase order. Your company account requires one. Every single time. Yep, that security warning is still there, because your accounts department has not asked us to change that warning. It's to protect them. Yep, I really don't give a single flying monkey fart that no other store asks for this, they are actually supposed to.
By all means, get pissy again, worked out well for you last time, huh? Y'know, when I made you wait for half an hour while I called your accounts department* and verified your id and affiliation with your multinational corporation. Over two dollars and thirty cents. I absolutely AM that petty.
The more you protest, the more I become convinced that you're doing something naughty. All your purchases are under $100. Your accounts department has not given you an exception to the PO rule despite your multitude of excuses and wobbly tantrums. And then there's the fact my manager is now watching you.
But hey, you can learn. You can get a PO. Or you can keep dealing with me.
And I'm fully authorized to keep your account as safe as possible.
*(I fully suspect that the lady I spoke to in accounts actually works there, but that Tradie guy is her boyfriend, and doesn't work there. I suspect she gave him her card, or a coworkers. Unfortunately, the only number I could get from him to verify his identity was directly off of his phone...and her direct mobile number. I've forwarded this suspicion onto our fraud department).
There are a lot of people who do things like this, but tbh, these two stick out because they are serial offenders at my store. I'll post more if I remember them.
Dear oh dear, accounts. If you own a business, you can register at Latekin's Aussie "Totally not a Ripoff of Home Depot" Hardware Store. You can get an account, with a $10, 000 limit. You can also get sued to hell and back for not paying that account, but that's another story. Your account is accessed through a nifty little card. Your card belongs to you. Nobody else. If your employees need access to this account, we can get them cards too. We can also set extra security up for you, so that when we scan a card on your account, it displays a nice little warning for us. "Needs Purchase Order and Job ID No," or "Must Show Company I.D," or even "Purchase Order book **** stolen, don't use numbers 1800-1900."
Now many people, upon realizing that registering your business with us means that you're now 900% more accountable for your behavior in store, tend to treat the people working the Trade Desk with a measure of cordiality and respect, because these people can cut off your account access for even looking slightly shifty during a sale. When you're dealing with large companies, you do not want to wrongly charge their accounts department.
Some people though...
Draft Order Fail
One business has repeatedly been trying to purchase things with a "Draft" PO. We have explained to them that they cannot do that, because of the sheer number of naughty people who try to put a draft through, then send the actual order through authorizing less money than they actually spent (basically so that under the terms of their purchase order, we have to refund the order because we've charged more than they gave us authorization to. Attempts to show the PO that they gave us fail, because we shouldn't have relied on a draft... argh! They get free stuff, we loose a tonne of money.)
So they start doing this at other desks, like our Tool Desk, or our Service Desk.
They refuse to stop doing this when called out, then claim that they weren't doing anything of the sort conflarn it!
They get a warning from Latekin that further breaches of the terms and conditions of their account will lead to account termination. Office manager somehow now doesn't speak English. My colleague repeats it in Italian for the gentleman. He's now apparently Greek. News to us, (since you told us you were Italian, duh, while speaking perfect English!) but whatever, point still stands, those terms and conditions were in your agreement, that you signed, saying that you understood what your obligations were.
Then you tried it at Toolshop. With Latekin's housemate. THE NEXT FRAKKIN WEEK!
No account for you sir!
Me Thinks the Tradie Doth Protest Too Much
Every. Single. time. Every single time you come in and park your overly sweaty self in front of my desk, you throw a tantrum because I ask you for a purchase order. Your company account requires one. Every single time. Yep, that security warning is still there, because your accounts department has not asked us to change that warning. It's to protect them. Yep, I really don't give a single flying monkey fart that no other store asks for this, they are actually supposed to.
By all means, get pissy again, worked out well for you last time, huh? Y'know, when I made you wait for half an hour while I called your accounts department* and verified your id and affiliation with your multinational corporation. Over two dollars and thirty cents. I absolutely AM that petty.
The more you protest, the more I become convinced that you're doing something naughty. All your purchases are under $100. Your accounts department has not given you an exception to the PO rule despite your multitude of excuses and wobbly tantrums. And then there's the fact my manager is now watching you.
But hey, you can learn. You can get a PO. Or you can keep dealing with me.
And I'm fully authorized to keep your account as safe as possible.
*(I fully suspect that the lady I spoke to in accounts actually works there, but that Tradie guy is her boyfriend, and doesn't work there. I suspect she gave him her card, or a coworkers. Unfortunately, the only number I could get from him to verify his identity was directly off of his phone...and her direct mobile number. I've forwarded this suspicion onto our fraud department).
There are a lot of people who do things like this, but tbh, these two stick out because they are serial offenders at my store. I'll post more if I remember them.
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