My friend has just opened a resteraunt and she was a little short staffed. Knowing I need the money she asked if I wanted to come work for her for the day. Of course I said yes... The guilt trip she laid on had nothing to do with it I swear.
Anyway, this group of 4 came in. Obviously tourists. Still have their luggage with them and everything. I sit them at the table. Go through the regular spiel and inform them a waitress will be there to take their drink orders soon. I also take note of their accent as its a game I play in my head trying to match accents to places. I also know a few languages so if I get the opportunity to use them it's always a bonus.
Anyway. The waitress is one whose rather young and she has a speech impediment which makes her stutter. I think it's one of her first jobs or something. While she comes back upset and so I ask her what happened. She told me that she had tried to take their drink order and one of them had looked her in the eye and told her something in their language and they all had a laugh about it. She didn't know what they had said but she understood the tone. I asked her to repeat it to me and she tried. I repeated back to her what I thought they said given her butcher job at the language. She confirmed what they had said was du är så jävla störd (you are so disturbed/retarded) or at least that's the translation I know of.
So I get pissed because I know enough Swedish to hold a conversation if I have to. (Not a very interesting one mind you) and I, like almost everyone else, learned the swears first because I'm mature like that.
So I tell her I'll take over for her if she does hostess duties. (We were really slow at the time)
So I go up to them and say.
"Hello. I recognized your accent. Do you mind if I practice my language skills? There aren't many Swedish speakers here so I haven't had as much practice at the beautiful language." I was definitely banking on the pride most tourists have in their language and country. Also... It's true, and I like the language even if it makes my tongue twist into knots trying to pronounce some words (I know your out to get me vowels)
They give me the go ahead. So I give them the standard speech.
Hej, trevligt att träffas. (Hello, nice to meet you.)
Mitt namn är Heather (My name is Heather)
Jag kommer att vara din server. (I will be your server today)
Vill du ha något att dricka? (Can I get you anything to drink) [i don't know how to say "can I start you with...?" But I know "can I get you...?"]
We have conversations over the course of their meal.
They ask how long I've been learning and I reply with
Jag har fått lära mig svenska i ett månad (I have been learning Swedish about a month. Which is technically true in that I only have a month's worth of learning. I just learned that 'month' years ago. Because when begging for help on your 'project Viking' from some Swedish boat makers who don't speak much English...though they can read/write it pretty well... It is best to approach them in their own language. Shows your putting forth the effort and even if your pronunciation is terrible they still appreciate it. Also, Swedes are awesome and all the ones, except these customers, I've talked to have been really nice/helpful.)
They correct me (often on my pronunciation. Those vowels hate me.) and leave a nice fat tourist tip ($100).
A lot of European countries don't tip their waiters/waitresses (I'll admit I was totally banking on this) On the bright side, or so I've found, the kind of tourists that insult someone in their language while that someone is standing right there are generally the ones who don't understand what a normal tip amount would be. So I got a tip that was way more then it should be (and couldn't seem to be bothered to tell them that.) and gave it to the other waitress (my tip was the revenge I got by squeezing more then they probably would have given if they hadn't 'enjoyed helping me learn their wonderful language' and then giving it to the very person they didn't think was worth much in their eyes. Personally I think they liked a combination of 'I want to learn your language your awesome for helping me-' and being able to point out my mistakes. There's no masculine/feminine way of saying a word in English and that always confuses me no matter which language I learn)
Yes, I'm subtle when I want to be and I can be a vindictive bitch. It was all the more amusing that they didn't know what I did with their tip... At least to me anyway.
I need to get a handle on my 'authority issues' and my 'vindictive tendencies'... Well at least I have something to do tomorrow.
Also. If anyone wants to help me develop my language skills... I speak Italian, Spanish(Spain), Japanese(though I'm no longer fluent as I haven't really used it in like 10yrs) Swedish (not much but then there's nobody to teach me here so I have to rely on webcam chats with people) and a bit of Arabic and Turkish (written not the spoken part... Though if anyone wants to help expand that feel free).
Anyway, this group of 4 came in. Obviously tourists. Still have their luggage with them and everything. I sit them at the table. Go through the regular spiel and inform them a waitress will be there to take their drink orders soon. I also take note of their accent as its a game I play in my head trying to match accents to places. I also know a few languages so if I get the opportunity to use them it's always a bonus.
Anyway. The waitress is one whose rather young and she has a speech impediment which makes her stutter. I think it's one of her first jobs or something. While she comes back upset and so I ask her what happened. She told me that she had tried to take their drink order and one of them had looked her in the eye and told her something in their language and they all had a laugh about it. She didn't know what they had said but she understood the tone. I asked her to repeat it to me and she tried. I repeated back to her what I thought they said given her butcher job at the language. She confirmed what they had said was du är så jävla störd (you are so disturbed/retarded) or at least that's the translation I know of.
So I get pissed because I know enough Swedish to hold a conversation if I have to. (Not a very interesting one mind you) and I, like almost everyone else, learned the swears first because I'm mature like that.
So I tell her I'll take over for her if she does hostess duties. (We were really slow at the time)
So I go up to them and say.
"Hello. I recognized your accent. Do you mind if I practice my language skills? There aren't many Swedish speakers here so I haven't had as much practice at the beautiful language." I was definitely banking on the pride most tourists have in their language and country. Also... It's true, and I like the language even if it makes my tongue twist into knots trying to pronounce some words (I know your out to get me vowels)
They give me the go ahead. So I give them the standard speech.
Hej, trevligt att träffas. (Hello, nice to meet you.)
Mitt namn är Heather (My name is Heather)
Jag kommer att vara din server. (I will be your server today)
Vill du ha något att dricka? (Can I get you anything to drink) [i don't know how to say "can I start you with...?" But I know "can I get you...?"]
We have conversations over the course of their meal.
They ask how long I've been learning and I reply with
Jag har fått lära mig svenska i ett månad (I have been learning Swedish about a month. Which is technically true in that I only have a month's worth of learning. I just learned that 'month' years ago. Because when begging for help on your 'project Viking' from some Swedish boat makers who don't speak much English...though they can read/write it pretty well... It is best to approach them in their own language. Shows your putting forth the effort and even if your pronunciation is terrible they still appreciate it. Also, Swedes are awesome and all the ones, except these customers, I've talked to have been really nice/helpful.)
They correct me (often on my pronunciation. Those vowels hate me.) and leave a nice fat tourist tip ($100).
A lot of European countries don't tip their waiters/waitresses (I'll admit I was totally banking on this) On the bright side, or so I've found, the kind of tourists that insult someone in their language while that someone is standing right there are generally the ones who don't understand what a normal tip amount would be. So I got a tip that was way more then it should be (and couldn't seem to be bothered to tell them that.) and gave it to the other waitress (my tip was the revenge I got by squeezing more then they probably would have given if they hadn't 'enjoyed helping me learn their wonderful language' and then giving it to the very person they didn't think was worth much in their eyes. Personally I think they liked a combination of 'I want to learn your language your awesome for helping me-' and being able to point out my mistakes. There's no masculine/feminine way of saying a word in English and that always confuses me no matter which language I learn)
Yes, I'm subtle when I want to be and I can be a vindictive bitch. It was all the more amusing that they didn't know what I did with their tip... At least to me anyway.
I need to get a handle on my 'authority issues' and my 'vindictive tendencies'... Well at least I have something to do tomorrow.
Also. If anyone wants to help me develop my language skills... I speak Italian, Spanish(Spain), Japanese(though I'm no longer fluent as I haven't really used it in like 10yrs) Swedish (not much but then there's nobody to teach me here so I have to rely on webcam chats with people) and a bit of Arabic and Turkish (written not the spoken part... Though if anyone wants to help expand that feel free).
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