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  • Like pulling freaking teeth

    I work for a small State agency and most of my work involves assisting folks from County agencies with minor tech problems. /bg

    Why is my inbox constantly filled with emails like this? (Please blame the length on people who insist on treating email like a conversation.)

    "Is something wrong with the system? It doesn't work."

    All right, I'll play your silly game.

    Me: Which system? XYZ or GHI? Are you unable to connect? Are you able to connect, but unable to log on? Is there any error message?"

    "I can't get in."

    Me: "Can't get into what? And can't get in as in you can't connect to the site or your login isn't working?"

    "I can't get in."

    Usually, by this point, I scream, slam my head on the desktop, and call them. So far, "I can't get in" has translated to:
    I forgot my password.
    I haven't used the system in a bazillion months and I need my account re-enabled.
    The power is out.
    I was using my password for system XYZ, but was connected to system GHI.
    Our (their) computer network is down.
    Their IT changed IP addresses but didn't see fit to notify us. Since security for some systems demands IPs match the whitelist...problem.
    They've pulled a URL from....somewhere and it isn't ours. I dunno what they're trying to connect to, but www.friskysquirrelsandnuts.org isn't going to ping anything on our systems.

    Honestly, how hard is it to type, "Hi! I connected to XYZ this morning and tried to login, but it didn't let me. Please find attached a screenshot of the error message I got"? Info dump, people. Info dump in your initial email and make me happy.

  • #2
    I feel you. I'm not really "tech support", but sometimes if a program blows up or does something it shouldn't be doing, I'll be asked to research it.

    The first thing I try to do is recreate the problem. One time I was asked to research a problem, I wasn't able to do that. So I asked the user for more information, i.e. what they were doing when the problem occurred. I got an answer along the lines of, "I was using (program) to (do what this particular program was designed to do.)" That's about as useful as telling your mechanic, "I was driving my car."

    I asked the user to be more specific, and didn't get any further replies. I told my manager about it, and she basically said that if they can't be bothered to give us any useful info, then we're not wasting our time researching it.
    Sometimes life is altered.
    Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
    Uneasy with confrontation.
    Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

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    • #3
      Quoth Havering View Post
      I dunno what they're trying to connect to, but www.friskysquirrelsandnuts.org isn't going to ping anything on our systems.
      I clicked on this.No site appeared.I did not get to see frisky squirrels.This makes me unhappy.Sort it so I can be happy again...
      The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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      • #4
        My I cant log in = I cant even get into the system to send an email so I have to pick up the phone and give every detail over the phone cant screen shot it because I cant get into windows lol. The last error I got was about not having permission to see my screens lol.

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        • #5
          Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
          I clicked on this.No site appeared.I did not get to see frisky squirrels.This makes me unhappy.Sort it so I can be happy again...
          I was also disappointed. But then I found this video of a frisky squirrel.
          "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth raw1989 View Post
            My I cant log in = I cant even get into the system to send an email so I have to pick up the phone and give every detail over the phone cant screen shot it because I cant get into windows lol. The last error I got was about not having permission to see my screens lol.
            We ran some remote diagnostics and found:
            Slowkeys = ON.
            Desktop Icons = OFF.
            Taskbar = OFF.
            Mouse Cursor = Custom invisible 1 pixel square.
            Desktop Background = a screenshot of your logon page.
            Diagnosis: Some good buddy got you yesterday* when you forgot to log off.


            * April 1st!
            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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            • #7
              This sounds like my CW "Betty." When she says "it shut me down" it could mean something as simple as the program froze, or it could mean the whole computer shut down.

              I can't count how many times she's said something like, "I just clicked on it and it went [insert random spluttering noise]."

              And you can't get her to explain what happened. You have to go over to her desk, look at her screen, ask her what she was trying to do, and nine times out of ten the solution is staring her in the face.

              Did I mention I'm not IT, I just use the same system that she does?
              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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              • #8
                Some of my classmates in school acted like this. "This script isn't working." The teacher was like "....What step are you on? Okay, what do you mean not working? Is there an error message?" Stuff like that. My mom has called me before and said, "the computer is yelling at me!" Turns out she had piled stuff on the keyboard, and keys were being held down.
                Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
                  I clicked on this.No site appeared.I did not get to see frisky squirrels.This makes me unhappy.Sort it so I can be happy again...
                  *automated voice* We're sorry. Our site is temporarily down. We know that you, the discerning customer, demand only the friskiest of squirrels and, frankly, our squirrels just weren't cutting it. Threats, bribes, the comfy chair--we tried everything. We apologize again for this interruption in service and ask that you check out our GoFundMe page. There, you will be afforded the opportunity to make a much-needed donation so that we can purchase new squirrels and enough spam-advertised pharmaceuticals to ensure that the very friskiest of squirrels are delivered to your web browser. */automated voice*

                  Quoth MoonCat View Post
                  This sounds like my CW "Betty." When she says "it shut me down" it could mean something as simple as the program froze, or it could mean the whole computer shut down.

                  I can't count how many times she's said something like, "I just clicked on it and it went [insert random spluttering noise]."

                  And you can't get her to explain what happened. You have to go over to her desk, look at her screen, ask her what she was trying to do, and nine times out of ten the solution is staring her in the face.

                  Did I mention I'm not IT, I just use the same system that she does?
                  I feel your pain. "Is there an error message? Did it tell you you needed to do something? Did you try doing that? Well, why don't you try doing that. It worked? T'rrific."

                  We send out notifications to people. It's a simple little card with, literally, three instructions: check a box, sign it, and mail it back (in a postage prepaid envelope that accompanies it).
                  *Ring ring*
                  Me: This is me.
                  Them: I got this thing. What do I do.
                  Me: repeat the three steps that are spelled out exactly on the flaming card.
                  Them: Okay, thanks!

                  How do these people manage to survive while being terrified to just do something without being hand-held? And no, it's not just old people or young people. Idiocy knows no age limits. Sadly.
                  Last edited by EricKei; 04-03-2017, 05:56 PM. Reason: merged consecutive posts

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                  • #10
                    Thank you for your donation.As a result,we are able to bring you a selection of top quality frisky squirrels
                    The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth dalesys View Post
                      We ran some remote diagnostics and found:
                      Slowkeys = ON.
                      Desktop Icons = OFF.
                      Taskbar = OFF.
                      Mouse Cursor = Custom invisible 1 pixel square.
                      Desktop Background = a screenshot of your logon page.
                      Diagnosis: Some good buddy got you yesterday* when you forgot to log off.


                      * April 1st!
                      Lol it was actually an error on my works IT side we are having issues with the network and apparently I wasn't the only one who got the black screen of death altho I do hate to be the person calling someone at 8:30 at night for help but as I am the only agent on in my dept after 8 and 11:30 its not an option to go home so yah the IT guy had to reset me from his work computer at home I just hope I didn't interrupt dinner.

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                      • #12
                        Hire those squirrels!!!eleventy!!1!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Welcome to my world, sometimes, at the ITSD at The Client.

                          Fortunately, I guess I've gotten good at phrasing "By 'not working' what exactly do you mean? Is it giving you an error message?" and things of that nature in a patient tone that I usually get more clarification right away.

                          But I've had those cases where I ask the question, and I swear I can hear the little hamster spinning away in its exercise wheel in their brains before they repeat themselves. (e.g. "It's not working.")

                          Then I sigh inwardly and knuckle down to pull some teeth.
                          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                          • #14
                            Quoth raw1989 View Post
                            Lol it was actually an error on my works IT side we are having issues with the network and apparently I wasn't the only one who got the black screen of death altho I do hate to be the person calling someone at 8:30 at night for help but as I am the only agent on in my dept after 8 and 11:30 its not an option to go home so yah the IT guy had to reset me from his work computer at home I just hope I didn't interrupt dinner.
                            Hah! My best hack on a coworker was taking a screenshot of his desktop, hiding all his icons and then putting the shot up as his desktop background. Hilarity ensued! (Okay, at least it was pretty funny to me.) *click* "#*#&%^&!!!!!" *click* Damn computer!" *click "God-farkin'-gherkin....!!!" I only 'fessed when he was about to call IT.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Havering View Post
                              I only 'fessed when he was about to call IT.
                              That's funny but wouldn't u seem to think hey its not highlighting it why....

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