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My achy, breaky heart...
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Old 07-21-2019, 12:34 AM
Havering Havering is offline
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Default My achy, breaky heart...

I love my husband, truly, I do. I may kill him, however. Or divorce. I suppose divorce is an option and less likely to lead to jail time.

Thursday night, about 6-ish, I was getting a severe burning sensation in my chest. "Hm..." thinks I, "heartburn." We'd had homemade nachos that night and I overate (for me, I mean. Less than a small plateful and I didn't finish it, but for me, it was a lot.)

Pain goes away. Pain comes back. Goes. Comes back. "Screw it," I think. "I'll go to bed." About an hour later, it wakes me up. Okay, I've ridden in this rodeo before--about 10 or 12 years ago. I get dressed, head into the living room and tell Havering-Spouse, "I think I need to go to the ER." We go. Yup. Heart.

After being in the ER from 11pm until about 4am, they stick me in a room. At 11am, doc comes in and it's catheterization time! In 30 minutes! Yay! So we do that thing. I wind up spending another night and get to come home yesterday afternoon. All's well. H-S took me to the ER, brought me home, so wherefore the angst?

He told my brother-in-law. HE TOLD MY BROTHER-IN-LAW!!! Fuuuuu....Now his wife, my sister-in-law, knows. And her sister and that sister's husband. And my mother-in-law. And step-father-in-law, father-in-law and step-mother-in-law. The jungle drums have spread the word far and wide by now.

I looked at H-S and said, "You know, they're all (ALL!) going to call or show up on the doorstep, yes?"

"Yes," sheepishly, "but only because they care."

"You, sir, will be in charge of the phone. *You*, sir, will deal with explaining what happened to each and every member of your family." (Because someone may have missed something and EVERY detail MUST be known!!!) *You* will inform them that all I want is rest. I do not want visits, plants, food, any-bloody-thing-whatsoever EXCEPT to be left alone."

I'm still thinking divorce since I can't drive the stick in his truck to pick up a wood-chipper (and I can't lift anything over 10 pounds). When will I get it through that thick melon of his that my health is not his family's business? Anybody else have an over-sharing spouse?
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  #2  
Old 07-21-2019, 01:12 AM
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Ironclad Alibi Ironclad Alibi is offline
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I have my deepest condolences on your choice of spouse.

Also hope your heart is doing OK.
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  #3  
Old 07-21-2019, 02:04 AM
Pixelated Pixelated is offline
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I have no spouse so ... no similar issues.

You did the right thing in telling HIM to deal with the influx of visitors and calls.

And yeah, divorce is definitely the better option. Depending, of course, on whether orange suits you ...
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Old 07-21-2019, 02:53 PM
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Kit-Ginevra Kit-Ginevra is offline
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I thought you were a star when you took me to ER
And sent me to the loving comfort of a nurse
Then you told the family all that had happened to me
Don't you see you made it a hundred times worse?

You can sit and recite every detail of my plight
For the fifty thousandth time with nowt left out.
They'll be waiting there in line on the family grapevine
To spread all of the latest gossip all about.

Now they're parading past the bed,with Aunty Wilma at the head
Who wants to share and compare each symptom with her own,
And then there's Uncle Stew with his brood of fifty-two,
Each sending details to their partner on the phone.

So don't tell about my heart my achy breaky heart
I just don't think you understand
If you tell about my heart my achy breaky heart
I might blow up and kill this man...

Cos now you've told Meemaw and the brother-in-law
And some guy in the Walmart store that you just met.
Now the room is crammed eight-deep,the telephone won't let me sleep
From calls to see if anything new's happened yet.

So don't tell about my heart my achy breaky heart
I just don't think you understand
If you tell about my heart my achy breaky heart
I might blow up and kill this man...

So next time that I get ill it would give me quite a thrill
If you'd do this little favour just for me,
The ever-growing horde can simply please just be ignored,
Unless I'm at the pearly gates,shut up and let me be...
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Old 07-21-2019, 04:20 PM
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csquared csquared is offline
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Quote:
Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
**snipped to protect everyone's sanity (what little they may have left)**
Well, you probably just gave Havering a setback. Although, it may have saved her husband, as you are now most likely at the top of the list.

Let me make sure this is clear. Your lyrics aren't half bad. Your crime was PUTTING THAT DAMN SONG BACK INTO MY HEAD!

Havering,
Hope you are better soon.
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  #6  
Old 07-21-2019, 11:35 PM
kibbles kibbles is offline
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I literally just sang Kit-Ginevra's post LOLOL!
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Old 07-22-2019, 08:53 AM
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greek_jester greek_jester is offline
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Quote:
Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
I thought you were a star when you took me to ER
And sent me to the loving comfort of a nurse
Then you told the family all that had happened to me
Don't you see you made it a hundred times worse? *snip*
You, Kit, are an absolute star. That is brilliant! Unfortunately you've infected me with an earworm...
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  #8  
Old 07-23-2019, 03:50 AM
Pixelated Pixelated is offline
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Quote:
Quoth csquared View Post

Let me make sure this is clear. Your lyrics aren't half bad. Your crime was PUTTING THAT DAMN SONG BACK INTO MY HEAD!


I was about half an hour away from going to bed ... now I have to wait till the earworm is dead ...

Although you did cause me to go listen to Weird Al's version of that song as well, so now it'll be TWICE as long, dammit ...
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Last edited by Pixelated; 07-23-2019 at 03:52 AM.
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