List of things that annoyed the crap out of me as a cashier

[thatcrazyredhead]

So someone with a little situational awareness (ie., a non-SC) doesn't care if you check, 'cause they already have; SCs, not so much, so they deflect.

Or they realize that you have to check each and every one that comes in, and it's not because you think that they personally look like a criminal.

[wolfie]

...You have to show ID! I don't make the rules so
don't get mad at me!

Maybe they read "Psychoanalysis for Dummies", and figured that if they had enough EGO, they wouldn't need to show ID?

Stop pushing your cart into the person in front of you in line

Many times I've been tempted to respond to a cart being pushed into me by hip-checking the cart.

[winner every time]

When I am looking at your large bills, don't tell me to "just swipe it with the counterfeit pen." The pens can be defeated & I am REQUIRED to look at them. It's not personal.

One of my team leads once made the very stupid remark to us that we were NOT to check the bills for the watermarks, because it "makes the customer feel bad"


A couple of contributions I have for the list:
- I work with apron-cash (my till is bundled, and handled out of an apron around my waist), so, it's rather irritating when people step into my personal space - especially when I have my money out to make change. Bonus annoying points for the people who get offended when I step away, or cross my hands in front of my apron pocket to block an easy access to it.

- People who dump a handful of coins into my hand, and then get irritated that I have to count them.

- Shortchangers. We get them a lot in games... we probably seem like easy targets, or something. *knock-on-wood* I'm good at recognizing their tactics, they're just annoying, and love to pop up when it's busy.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Also, how many times a day do you think I hear the corny line, "I just made it last night."

*twitch*

To me, this stupid line is barely a level up from "It doesn't scan so it must be free! Durhur!"

Here's my own addition to the list: Get frustrated/angry with me because YOU came in three days, two days or even ONE DAY before Christmas and actually expected us to have everything in stock!

Also, my religious beliefs are none of your concern, nor do I particularly care to hear details about yours. This is a retail store, not a church, evangelizing probably won't go over well here.

[Chromatix]

"I just made it last night."

"Ah, I'd better call the police, then, if it's a fake."

[Grendus]

From my year working the night shift in retail hell:

- The bagging carousel is for me to spin, not you. I understand that it looks like the bag is full and you can take it. Trust me, when it's full I'll send it to you.

- On the flipside, the reason I spin the bagging carousel in a clockwise motion is so the recently filled bags are immediately positioned towards you. This is a subtle hint: pick up your bags so I can have those slots free again. I can get very creative in orienting and positioning bags so as to free up slots, but if something falls and breaks because you didn't put it back in your cart you'll have a hard time finding someone less sympathetic than me.

- There's an inverse relationship between how many people are waiting in line at the self check and how possible it is for me to ring people out at the self check register. I understand the lines are long, but if you have a cart full of items the last thing I want to do is have to haul every item you want to purchase out of the bottom of your cart, scan it, bag it without a carousel, and try to order it in such a way that I won't forget that I already scanned it or let something slip through. It's hell on my back, and given how glitchy these old self check machines are it's hell on my nerves too.

- Ever notice that I never call an individual up to the front but instead list off purchase sizes until I get someone up to the front? There's a reason for that, I had a man of a particular ethnicity accuse me of racism when I took a young woman of a different race and refused to ring him out. He had 15 items, she had 3, but I still got in trouble. I promise you, I'm not racist, I hate everyone equally. At this hour, I even hate myself.

- I don't have a barrier between me and the customers on the self check register, because it was never intended to be used (apparently the road to hell really is paved with good intentions). Here's a suggestion though - if you wouldn't stand that close to me to have a conversation WHY THE FUCK would you standing so close to me when I'm handling money? That's like creeping up on someone in the bathroom, in both cases I'm holding something very valuable and if you try to grab it without my permission I will feel very, very violated (and possibly feel the need to defend myself).

- It's 3:00AM. You're the only customer I've seen in the last half hour. Why do you expect us to have every register open? We didn't even have all of them open on Black Friday.

- You shop here every month, on food stamp day, at 3:00AM, like clockwork. Every time, you gripe about how we don't have any full registers open. Have you considered that maybe you're the problem in this scenario, and if you shopped at a reasonable hour we'd have registers open for you? Of course you didn't.

- The only thing sadder than the fact that we don't have any registers open at this hour is the fact that you paced the front aisle six times before asking me that. The fact that I'm bored enough to count that and apathetic enough to not care comes close.

- It was very thoughtful of you to put your chilled goods in the drink refrigerator when you decided you didn't want them. It was less thoughtful to put the ice cream in there with them, and braindead stupid to put it on its side.

- For the love of all that is holy and a few things that aren't, DON'T put your money on the conveyor belt. Money on the conveyor belt has a great way of turning into money IN the conveyor belt.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

- For the love of all that is holy and a few things that aren't, DON'T put your money on the conveyor belt. Money on the conveyor belt has a great way of turning into money IN the conveyor belt.

Same with your store savings card for that matter.

Doesn't matter if it's directly on the belt or on top of your groceries . . . it can still fall off onto the belt and get sucked into oblivion before I can catch it.

[MadMike]

- For the love of all that is holy and a few things that aren't, DON'T put your money on the conveyor belt. Money on the conveyor belt has a great way of turning into money IN the conveyor belt.

My mom had that happen with her coupons once. But at least she was smart enough to realize she had done something stupid, and didn't blame the cashier for it.

[Estil]

Please don't leave handbaskets on the floor where people can trip over them and also please don't just leave shopping carts strung out blocking the front of the checklanes and/or front doors. I mean what would the local fire marshall think?

[thatcrazyredhead]

Please don't put your change on the counter and expect me to pick it up, especially when my open hand is waiting for you to put it into.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Please don't put your change on the counter and expect me to pick it up, especially when my open hand is waiting for you to put it into.

Same goes for throwing money at me.

I am NOT a stripper and you will be told precisely that - and a few other things.

[fireheart]

When I am looking at your large bills, don't tell me to "just swipe it with the counterfeit pen." The pens can be defeated & I am REQUIRED to look at them. It's not personal.

This is why I prefer our polymer notes...very easy to test for whether they're normal or not. (scrunch/tear them...real notes will bounce back into shape/not tear)

F

- It was very thoughtful of you to put your chilled goods in the drink refrigerator when you decided you didn't want them. It was less thoughtful to put the ice cream in there with them, and braindead stupid to put it on its side.

- For the love of all that is holy and a few things that aren't, DON'T put your money on the conveyor belt. Money on the conveyor belt has a great way of turning into money IN the conveyor belt.

Re the first one, our drink fridges are at a different temperature to those of the other fridges we had in the store. So in their case, it actually DIDN'T help because about 95% of the time we couldn't sell it.

As for the second one, credit cards are the WORST. Money i my case was a bit easier.

Although I do remember seeing a woman's purse chain getting caught in the self-scan....

[XRogue]

Read the price tag on your purchases. The *correct* price tag. Not the price tag for the similar item that's half the size of the one you brought up here, not the price tag on the generic when you got the national brand, and not the price tag on the end cap where you picked your caviar up....helpful hint, the rest of the endcap is stocked with SALTINES. To quote Sesame Street, "One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong!"....ahem.

Stay the hell out of express with your 200 item order. 21 or 23, even 25 or 30, sure. Cart full? Beat it, buster. And do not say nasty things to the customers behind you when they complain about having to wait on your entitled self. It's your own fault for not possessing reading comprehension or making the effort to walk another ten feet.

Do NOT scream at me because some gormless eedjit left half the motorized carts to run down in the parking lot, and the other half are being used because you came during peak hours. My feet hurt too. Get your daughter to push you in a wheelchair... oh wait, that'd offend your precious dignity? What dignity do you think you had left after acting the way you just did?

Keep a handle on your kids. Do NOT let them sit down on the side of my aisle and use the gift cards to throw at each other by the handful because they are bored and you don't give a crap. Do not offer to give me your child because he is "ornery". The last one to do that got informed, my 20 year old has left home and is going to college, and my 17 year old is headed the same way next year. No way am I starting over, kthxbai! Although I'd be doing your little pweshus a favor, guaranteed he wouldn't throw your produce at the cashier when I get done with him.

[JustShootMe]

OK...after last night...CONTROL YOUR KIDS!! Pleaseandthankyou.

[thatcrazyredhead]

Do not give your little brat a stuffed animal to appease it while you shop and then hand it back to me covered in slime and say, "We're not buying this."