I didn't know you could call tech support for this

[spazmunke]

So I need to vent a bit as I have been getting this kind of call a lot today. I HATE when a cust calls in saying I have "no signal" on my TV. Me, like most sane, reasonable people know to change the input and be good. Nooooo....... these calls REGULRLY take 1/2 an hour to resolve and go like this:

Me: is the light on the box red or green?
SC: Red
Me: Okay, that means the box is OFF, let's press the POWER button to turn it back on.
SC: (presses button) Oh, it's working now
These are the easy ones, but wait they get better!

Me: what kind of cable is connecting the box to the TV?
SC: I don't know your ttech installed it. Or I have no idea, I'm not technical. Or Your speaking Greek to me

Now trying to get an SC to change their input
Me: Okay let's change the input on your TV, do you have the remote that came with your TV?
SC: No, I threw it out/the tech took it/I don't know where it is

Me: Press the INPUT button on the remote
SC: Where is it?
Me: *I don't know lady, it's remote* (it tends to be women who call for this issue)
SC: Okay I found the button
Me: Okay, press that button and let me know what happens
SC: Okay it pulled up a list, how do I change the input? (5 seconds later) The list went away
Me: Okay, when you get the list up, press the ARROW buttons on the remote to go the right input, then press the OK/SELECT button
SC: it's not doing anything!
Me: Okay, try again
(We go like for about 10 minutes until something magically clicks in their head)
SC: Okay it's working now


GAH! How do you fracking idiots not know how to change gram inputs on your gram TVs! Have you NEVER like watched a fracking DVD on before and had to change back and forth?!

[mjr]

Not to play "topper", but my wife once worked for a cable company, and she tells me stories about how people would call tech support to have the company send out a technician to change the batteries in their remote!!!

I wish I were kidding. Because they either couldn't do it themselves, or didn't want to. A lot of the excuses were "I pay you for things like this..." and other such nonsense.

She said that sometimes older customers would call in and complain about a one cent rate increase on their bill.

[lordlundar]

Not to play "topper", but my wife once worked for a cable company, and she tells me stories about how people would call tech support to have the company send out a technician to change the batteries in their remote!!!

Best not to play topper because I do have you beat. When we do system replacements at businesses we have to remove the plastic film that protects the glossy parts of a system. Otherwise the place in particular will demand on a service call to remedy the situation. Yes, you heard right, a technician has to go out to a site to remove the plastic film because everyone there is too scared to.

[mjr]

Yes, you heard right, a technician has to go out to a site to remove the plastic film because everyone there is too scared to.

I surrender!!

[spazmunke]

That is a topper there. At least with my company if technicians get sent out for stupid issues like that, they get charged for it. Also, usually at the mention of a charge, they are more willing to try. Which reminds me, I had an older lady calling in with the issue, she gave up as she was to dumb to change her input, asked for a tech to come out, when i told her she would be charged, she said "No, ill just not watch TV then"

[lordlundar]

That is a topper there. At least with my company if technicians get sent out for stupid issues like that, they get charged for it.

Oh they do get charged for it on standard call out rates. They accept it because of the fear that they'll screw it up and break the machine.

[earl colby pottinger]

Blind

What gets me is how blind people are to things that are right in front of them that they had been using for years.

When I got my mother a new DVD/VCR combo player she ask how to play her tapes/DVDs. I said just put one in and press the PLAY button on the remote.

At which point she claimed she did not know which button was the PLAY button.

I pointed out it was the one with the word PLAY below it.

Her claim switched to the text was too small to read easily.

So I pointed out the large symbol (a triangle pointing right was on it).

Her reply was she never seen that symbol before.

This made me angry!

I pulled out her old VCR remote, it had the symbol. (over 3 years old)

I pulled out her newer tape recorder, it had the symbol. (over 5 years old)

I pulled out her old tape recorder, it had the symbol. (over 15 years old)

I pulled out her record player, it had the symbol. (over 30 years old)

And asked her what had she been using for last couple of decades.

People, don't look, don't think, don't remember.

[ComputerNecromancer]

Me: Press the INPUT button on the remote
SC: Where is it?
Me: *I don't know lady, it's remote* (it tends to be women who call for this issue)
SC: Okay I found the button
Me: Okay, press that button and let me know what happens
SC: Okay it pulled up a list, how do I change the input? (5 seconds later) The list went away
Me: Okay, when you get the list up, press the ARROW buttons on the remote to go the right input, then press the OK/SELECT button
SC: it's not doing anything!
Me: Okay, try again
(We go like for about 10 minutes until something magically clicks in their head)
SC: Okay it's working now

I've been going thru this with an older neighbor (next apartment).

I learned that saying "up arrow" or "down arrow" had her going for the channel up/down button. Sometimes for the volume up/down.

Those "arrow keys" arranged in a circle aren't as obvious to someone who hasn't used them before.

I finally took a picture of the remote (and of the on-screen menu) and used my word processor to print out a cheat sheet being very clear about how to get to the input screen, which choice was what (TV is the antenna input and totaly useless for her setup, AV1 is the cable box, and DVI/HDMI 1 is the bluray player).

Had to be specific about the ch up/down being totally useless since she doesn't have anything hooked to the "tv" input.

and yes, she *hadn't* been doing this before. All she'd had was the cable box. So unless the power went away , she never needed the input menu.

[Dreamstalker]

Your speaking Greek to me

A few relatives use this phrase all the time. My inner wiseass is tempted to learn enough Greek to answer their question (whether it includes an actual technical answer I'm not sure yet).

We have...4 remotes (TV, cable, Roku and DVD/VCR that rarely gets used). I'm not sure if a universal remote would make things easier or break mom's brain entirely.

lundar, I always have to be the one to remove the film on anything electronic. For some reason mom refuses to...maybe she's afraid if the film doesn't sense that a 'tech' is handling it the device will break...

[Ironclad Alibi]

Or you're speaking Greek to me.

Reminds me of this:

Prince Edmund: Scotsmen are barbarians! Half of them don't even speak English!

Percy: Well, what do they speak?

Prince Edmund: Oh, I don't know. It's all Greek to me!

Percy: They speak Greek?

Prince Edmund: No, I mean it SOUNDS like Greek.

Percy: Well, if it sounds like Greek, it probably IS Greek.

Prince Edmund: It's not Greek!

Percy: But it sounds LIKE Greek..."What's not Greek, but sounds like Greek?" Hm, that's a good one, my lord!

Prince Edmund: Look, it's not meant to be a BRAIN-TEASER, Percy! I'm simply trying to tell you that I cannot understand a blind word they're saying.

Percy: Well, no wonder, my lord. You never learned Greek, of course.

[lordlundar]

lundar, I always have to be the one to remove the film on anything electronic. For some reason mom refuses to...maybe she's afraid if the film doesn't sense that a 'tech' is handling it the device will break...

Yeah, definite similarities. I think they're running on the logic that the film is some super high tech thingy that unless a "trained professional" removes it it will break everything.

[Dreamstalker]

The film protects a device from the inevitable stupidity ions it will come in contact with; having a tech do the removal tells it "yes, there is someone here who knows what they're doing; you can keep working".