Geeze. A big SC drought and I get two in one week!
You know that old adage about how to attract flies?
This lady should have remembered it.
Eugene had to go home sick at noon today. So I'm handling the sales calls.
My thoughts will be in orange.
Phone rings I answer it with the usual greeting. The caller was talking VERY fast. It was pretty hard to understand her.
Caller: I need to speak with Eugene. [OK. A little on the abrupt side, but not an SC yet.]
Me: I'm afraid he's gone for the day. Perhaps I can help you?
Caller: Are you sure? I just got an email from him! [Yeah. I'm sure. Otherwise I woudn't be doing his job in addition to my own!]
Me: Yes. I'm afraid he wasn't feeling well and had to leave.
Caller: But I neeeeeed to speak with him! [And I neeeeeeed you to can the attitude, lady.]
Me: I'm afraid that won't be possible unless you want to wait until Monday. Let's see if I can help you.
Caller: He sent me a quote for $3500. It can't be right! Would *you* know anything about that? [Don't question my competence and get to the fucking point already!]
Me: Let's see. What was the quote for?
Caller: [put upon sigh, because this is obviously taking much too long for her highness] It's for adding users to a license. He quoted me $3500. [Sounds about right to me, but let's make sure.]
Me: I can certainly check that for you. What was the license number?
Caller: [Rattles off the license number so fast I almost didn't catch it, but I caught it anyway, thankfully].
Me: OK. I'm going to pull that up. It will take a few seconds.
[We both wait while the database search grinds away. One of us patiently, the other one probably not.]
Me: Yes. So they wanted to add X users to license number xxxxx, right?
Me: Eugene did quote the correct price. It's $3500.
Caller: But we're a reseller, did he quote retail? Don't we get a discount for reselling that for you? [Whoa there! Let's back up, lady. First, don't act like you're doing us a huge favor that by reselling a license. IF you are a reseller, you will get a discount to recognize your efforts, but I don't recognize your voice (believe me, I would have remembered YOU) and I need to look you up and find out what your discount is (Background: dealer discounts vary depending on how much service they provide to their customers).]
Me: Can you give me the name of your company, please?
Caller: [Again rattles it off way too fast. This time I don't catch it. But I have suspicion about her and may not have to make her repeat herself and piss her off even more.]
Me: I'm sorry. Can you spell that for me, please? I'm going to check our database to find your reseller listing.
Caller: [snotty] We're not listed in your database! [Ding! Suspicion confirmed!]
Me: Oh, I understand. I'm afraid we can't give you a discount if you're not yet one of our resellers.
Caller: [impatient sigh] How do I do that? [You're not going to like what I say next.]
Me: You can speak with Eugene on Monday and apply to become a reseller. [Wince.]
Caller: I neeeed an answer today. This bid is due this afternoon! [And I neeeed an aspirin now! And how is the fact that you procrastinated submitting a bid anyone's problem but your own?]
Me: Unfortunately the only people who can do that are both out of the office today.
Caller: I guess we'll just have to eat it, then. [click] [Guess you will, buh bye!]
Here's the thing. I don't have anything against someone who screws up by procrastinating. I'm guilty of it too sometimes, you know?
If she'd made the slightest attempt to be polite instead of making demands, I'd have done her a favor and figured out a way to approve her as a reseller. Of course it would have required that she at least slow down enough to give me her contact information. I could see that wasn't happening. And the word "please" never left her lips even once.
She chose to bark orders at me like I'm her bitch, question the facts I was giving her and treat me like I'm not good enough to talk to her. So no favors. She can pay the asshole tax and I won't lose a wink of sleep over it.