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Yes, yes you do.
You DO have to give me back that FAKE PERMIT you tried to park with before you can leave the impound.
"But it was good!" you say?
"Good" how?
Good as in it's not fake? Uh, if that was the case:
A. Your car wouldn't be here
B. You wouldn't have had to pay to get it back, the apartment complex would have just told us you were a real tenant and we'd release it with apologies all around.
Or, maybe you meant "Good" as in it was just too good a forgery to NOT let you keep it as a memento of your counterfeiting prowess. If that's the case, well, see condition "A" above.
In either event, think of this as a mercy on our part, a saving-you-from-yourself gesture, like how they'll call a little league baseball game once the score gets too out of control. We're just trying to keep you from hurting yourself more with ANOTHER $160 tow and impound when you inevitably just park there again, convinced that fake is so "good" that yesterday's towing was just a statistical anomaly and not because we can recognize it as a phony as easy as a $3 bill.
And it's $160 because you left your windows down and we had to cover them up
with crash-wrap. That was another hint as to your level of genius by the way, considering we had storm and tornado warnings this week, and the power's been knocked out here in town at least once due to inclement weather. Yet you don't think to roll up your windows when you park.... and actually argued with us that you didn't see why you had to pay extra for our protection.
*sigh*
Do me a favor kid, when you get home, call David Dunning and Justin Kruger at Cornell University and just say "You guys were right". Don't worry, they'll know what it means.
You DO have to give me back that FAKE PERMIT you tried to park with before you can leave the impound.
"But it was good!" you say?
"Good" how?
Good as in it's not fake? Uh, if that was the case:
A. Your car wouldn't be here
B. You wouldn't have had to pay to get it back, the apartment complex would have just told us you were a real tenant and we'd release it with apologies all around.
Or, maybe you meant "Good" as in it was just too good a forgery to NOT let you keep it as a memento of your counterfeiting prowess. If that's the case, well, see condition "A" above.
In either event, think of this as a mercy on our part, a saving-you-from-yourself gesture, like how they'll call a little league baseball game once the score gets too out of control. We're just trying to keep you from hurting yourself more with ANOTHER $160 tow and impound when you inevitably just park there again, convinced that fake is so "good" that yesterday's towing was just a statistical anomaly and not because we can recognize it as a phony as easy as a $3 bill.
And it's $160 because you left your windows down and we had to cover them up
with crash-wrap. That was another hint as to your level of genius by the way, considering we had storm and tornado warnings this week, and the power's been knocked out here in town at least once due to inclement weather. Yet you don't think to roll up your windows when you park.... and actually argued with us that you didn't see why you had to pay extra for our protection.
*sigh*
Do me a favor kid, when you get home, call David Dunning and Justin Kruger at Cornell University and just say "You guys were right". Don't worry, they'll know what it means.
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