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Sesame Street, the Asshat, and the Desire to Stab Myself With a Butter Knife

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  • Sesame Street, the Asshat, and the Desire to Stab Myself With a Butter Knife

    In the midst of Kids Eat Free hell at work this weekend...comes the following SC encounters...


    I'm fairly sure kindergarten didn't fail me...

    Me: Hi, how was your dinner tonight? *takes his money, bill, and his "old people eventually get a discount" card*
    Sucktastic man: Now, now, that's five stamps on there today!!!!!!!!
    Me: (thinking: no kidding, gee thanks for your obviousness) Um...
    *sticks card into machine - it prints the date/time the customer came in, and they get 1 stamp per meal they purchase*
    Machine: *makes stamping sound*
    SM: One....
    Machine: *stamping sound again*
    SM: Two...
    Machine: *stamping sound*
    SM: Three....
    Machine: *stamping - still*
    SM: That's four...one more to go!!!
    Me: (thinking: thanks for the encouragement! wow!)
    SM: FIVE!!!!
    Me:

    Thanks, sucky man! I am pretty sure Sesame Street teaches most kids their numbers in their preschool years. Never mind public education. Thanks for being the condescending bastard I hoped would never grace the tables in the Restuarant.

    Kids Eat Free Hell

    Side note: the Restuarant has a promotion on Saturday and Sunday nights that allows kids 12 and under to get their entree free. However, there are a few rules that a lot of SCs try to ignore/change for their benefit. Example of a rule they try to violate: to get the discount, the parent must spend $.99 on a kids' drink or $1.99 for a kids' shake. Many parents seem to think their drink is free. Or, that their kid's added on dessert/salad/bowl of fruit/plate of fries/cottage chesse is free too. No, no, my dumb SCs. Only the entree. No matter how many times I explain this to you, or your server, or even the manager explains it, you still don't get it.

    Sucky #1: The ol' bait and switch

    Poopheaded old man: (he was simply looking for trouble...the bastard)
    Me: The one stuck, yet again, at the till and wanting to stab herself with the nearest butter knife

    Poopheaded old man: There's something wrong with my bill! My grandkids' meals are still on this ticket!!!!!!
    Me: Yes, I have to take off their meals up here. We still have to ring it in. (note: I say this about fifty times a shift during the Kids Eat Free hell hours...it gets old. I get cranky about 6ish.)
    Poophead: WELL, take it off NOW!
    Me: (thinking: you dont' have to be such an asshat about it!) *gives him a hard stare and punches in his ticket. Takes off the stupid kids' entrees* That will be $xx.xx.
    Poophead: WHAT! Is that with the discount?!
    Me: ...Yes.
    Poophead: DID YOU TAKE OFF THE KIDS' MEALS?
    Me: YES! I took off $x.xx for kid A and $x.xx for kid B. You ordered them each a shake and a soft drink, plus you had several add ons and they had dessert. We only take off the ENTREE. That is the kids eat free part.
    Poophead: *starting to turn a pretty shade of red* WHAT?!?!?! My server told me that everything the kids ordered was FREE! EVERYTHING!
    Me: *sighs* Your server is full of crap. R (the server) has been working here for several years and would not tell you something like that. He probably told you that you had to buy a drink to get the kids' meals for free. And ONLY the entrees. He knows better.
    Poophead: *turning ever redder* HE TOLD ME EVERYTHING THEY ORDERED WAS FREE!!!
    Me: I doubt it.
    Poophead: Well, go GET HIM! He will fix this for me!
    Me: Er, right. *rolls eyes BLATENTLY at the asshat at the register and goes to get R*
    Me: There's a jackass at the front who claims you told him his kids could have whatever they want for free. Is this true?
    R: Hell no, I didn't tell him that. I told him the kids' entrees were free if he got them drinks.
    Me: Well, you go impart that to the jerk at the front. He's irrational, and not listening to a word I say.
    R: Great....
    *R proceeds to the front and tells this man how it is*
    Poophead: WHAT!?!?!?! I WANT TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER NOW! YOU ALL DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!! I WANT THESE MEALS FOR FREE!
    R: *sighs* I will go get S for you. Good lord.

    S, our manager, proceeds to the front. When he arrives, I am back at the till and having an awkward staring match with this jerk. I think he believed intimidation would work on me. Too bad for him, I was used to confrontation.

    S: What seems to be the trouble?
    Poophead: *very red in the face * BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH! (or, ANGRY SUMMARY OF WHAT HE HAD ARGUED WITH ME AND R ABOUT!) (caps for emphisis) AND SHE *points at me* HAS BEEN NO HELP! YOUR SERVER TELLS ME ONE THING AND SHE TELLS ME ANOTHER!
    S: Well, she *gesters at me* is doing her job the right way, sir. Cloudiko gave you the appropriate discount, and your server said no such thing about getting all of the food your kids ate for free. She simply took of the entrees just like the promotion states, -
    Poophead: DAMNIT! LET ME SEE ONE OF YOUR KIDS MENUS!
    Me: *thrusts a menu at him* It states "buy a kids' drink, get the kids' entree for free." in the details.
    Poophead: IT STATES NO SUCH THING!
    S: It does in the coorporate book. *Shows Mr. Poo-pants*
    Poophead: AH, I SEE! IT'S A CASE OF THE OL BAIT AND SWITCH! YOU LURE INNOCENT CUSTOMERS IN HERE WITH THE EXPECTATION THAT THEIR KIDS GET TO HAVE THEIR MEALS FOR FREE AND THEN YOU CHARGE THEM MONEY FOR EVERYTHING JUST TO BREAK EVEN WITH COORPORATE! THEN, *points rudely at me again* YOU TELL HER TO JUST TAKE OFF THE ENTREES SO EVERYTHING WORKS OUT IN YOUR CHECKBOOKS!
    S: No, Cloudiko knows how to do her job. This is the way the promotion has been since the Restuarant started. Everyone abides by the same rule, no matter which Restuarant you go to -
    Poophead: NO! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! NONE OF YOU IDIOTS DO! I WILL NEVER COME HERE AGAIN IF YOU CHARGE ME! HOW DARE YOU! NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW TO DO YOUR JOBS!!!
    S: SIR, I deeply resent that you're telling me I don't know how to do my job! The real question is, how dare you? How dare you come in here and insult my employees? How dare you have the right to tell them they don't know what they are doing because you couldn't scam a discount?
    Poophead: I REFUSE TO PAY! I WILL NEVER COME IN THIS STORE AGAIN! I WILL NEVER BE A PATRON IN THIS RESTUARANT AGAIN!!!
    S: That will be $xx.xx, sir. And if you leave without paying, I will call the police. You will be reported for theft.
    Poophead: *seething* HOW DARE YOU!!!!
    Me: *to S* I'll go and ring the police if you want, S. *starts to walk to the phone*
    Poophead: *sees that I'm about to pick up the phone and call the police* YOU ARE SCAMMING ME AND MY FAMILY!!!
    Me: *picks up phone reciever, starts to dial*
    S: I will give you one more chance before my hostess calls the police. Your bill stands at $xx.xx, and that is with the appropriate kids eat free discount.
    Poophead: *begrudginly withdraws appropriate money from wallet, slams it on the counter*
    S: *takes it and cashes the man out* That's xx dollars and xx cents..
    Poophead: *still red* I WILL NEVER COME HERE AGAIN!
    S: That is fine with me. I don't want customers who have the audacity to tell me I don't know how to do my job. I don't get paid enough to deal with people like you trying to scam this company for every penny they can. Please, don't ever return to this place.
    Poophead: *walks away* I NEVER WILL BOTHER!
    S: *calls after him, in a sickly sweet voice* Have a nice day!!!

    Needless to say, that was probably the worst expirence I have ever had during Kids Eat Free Hell hours.

    Encounter #2: White Trash Lady
    Me: How was di-
    White trash lady: I want the entrees off.
    Me: I was just going to get to that.
    White trash lady: Well, hurry up. I gotta feed my baby in the van.
    Me: *looks at her bill - there are seven kids' meals on there*
    WTL: Well, kids DO eat free tonight, right?!
    Me: *sigh*

    Did you miss the signs? Did you skip out on public education to marry Farmer Joe at the tender age of four? Have you completely missed how to spot the obvious? I mean, who could miss two banners with bright red letters that read: KIDS EAT FREE FROM 4-9PM SAT. AND SUNDAY, plus the yellow notice on each of the kids menus, plus that verbal reminder from their server? Come on now - I know at the very least you can understand the verbal part! Wait...can you?
    If you can't, I know a crazy old man who can help you count from 1 to at least 5. After that, I don't know how good he is at letters of the alphabet.







    Okay, that's it. I've overused the CAPS LOCK button during this post. It makes me a little sad. There was just a lot of yelling this week. Mercifully, tomorrow is my day off.
    check out my new blog!!!!

    http://pitofdespairblog.blogspot.com/

    feel free to comment/send me the links to your blog!

  • #2
    Your manager ROCKS It's great when a manager stands up to arseholes like that and don't cave in, they're a rare breed, we definatley need more of them.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth cloudiko View Post
      White trash lady: Well, hurry up. I gotta feed my baby in the van.
      I really hope she had the baby with her...
      Quote Dalesys:
      ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

      Comment


      • #4
        Please please tell us the baby was not IN the van? Did she actually have 7 kids with her? Wow.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth cloudiko View Post
          Poophead: *still red* I WILL NEVER COME HERE AGAIN!
          In other words, "See you in a month when I will try this stunt again!"
          "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
          .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

          Comment


          • #6
            I always thought that with "kids eat free" promos that all of it was free, with the purchase of a reg. priced (adult) meal, and one child per adult.

            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
              I always thought that with "kids eat free" promos that all of it was free, with the purchase of a reg. priced (adult) meal, and one child per adult.
              It varies from place to place, of course, and the devil is in the details. But I don't know of any restaurant that gives everything that is ordered for the kid for free - usually only an entree or "Children's Plate." Dessert? Not free. Drink? Not free (unless it comes as part of the "Children's Plate").

              I remember being in line at one restaurant when one fat bastard (extra fat, extra bastard, hold the mayo) was trying to get a free Children's Plate for himself in addition to his own meal. No children in sight.

              Comment


              • #8
                This post was brought to you by the letters S and C, and by the number 5! *stamp* Oh, I'm sorry sir, did I step on your foot?
                I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth cloudiko View Post
                  I don't get paid enough to deal with people like you trying to scam this company for every penny they can.
                  Whoa, he actually said that? You manager kicks ass but he should sound a tad more professional rather than say this part. Companies could also stoop down to SC's depending on what they say I know I've experienced rude employees who deal with people!
                  Providing Excellent customer service and Filtering out nonsense people.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                    This post was brought to you by the letters S and C, and by the number 5! *stamp* Oh, I'm sorry sir, did I step on your foot?
                    That deserves a

                    So tempting, but the SC was across the counter.


                    And the sad story of dear S, the most awesome manager to ever walk the Restuarant....he quit not long after that incident. He said he couldn't deal with all the crappy people all the time. It's a shame, he was one of the few managers the Restuarant had that would stick up for his employees - and the rules. it was sad to see him go.
                    check out my new blog!!!!

                    http://pitofdespairblog.blogspot.com/

                    feel free to comment/send me the links to your blog!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth air914 View Post
                      Please please tell us the baby was not IN the van? Did she actually have 7 kids with her? Wow.
                      Yes, she actually did have 7 kids. Counting the baby, of course. I don't think the baby was in the van the entire time she and her brood were eating... I was too busy to notice if one of her children carted the baby out while she was trying to pay or something.
                      check out my new blog!!!!

                      http://pitofdespairblog.blogspot.com/

                      feel free to comment/send me the links to your blog!

                      Comment

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