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  • Bitterness and Densensitization

    As I have been beseeched to post more often during the week, thus I shall.



    Desensitized


    Nothing says Granville like a weird old guy with no neck in a Hawaiian shirt so new the price tag is still dangling from it, with black slacks, nice shoes, a backpack and one hand down the front of his pants hunting for truffles. God bless you, Vancouver. I am so desensitized now nothing phases me.



    Timeleap

    Me: "Alright, that will come to $xxx and take about two weeks to arrive."
    SC: "How long till it arrives?"
    Me: "About two weeks."

    See? SEE? I know some of you doubted my 3 second time leaping ability last week. So I offer yet more proof. Behold! Yet I still sense some doubt…..



    Timeleap 2

    Me: "One of our travel agents can assist you after 8am pacific. But we're only at 5am here right now."
    SC: "Oh, ok, what time is it there?"
    Me: "5am."

    See? DOUBT NOT MY POWER. Insignificant as it is. Still, DOUBT NOT.


    ( The morning floor sup suggested I add timeleaping or timeshifting to my otherwise lengthy messiah title. )



    Indecision

    SC: "You guys have a seminar going on the 26th and the 28th in Ottawa?"
    Me: "Yes we do, would you like to register?"
    SC: "What about the 27th?"
    Me: "There's a seminar in Kanata on the 27th."
    SC: "Oh. Where's the 26th one?"
    Me: "That one's at the such and such hotel in Ottawa on the 26th."
    SC: "and the one on the 28th?"
    Me: "That’s in Ottawa at the such and such hotel."
    SC: "Where was the 26th again?"
    Me: "Such and such in Ottawa."
    SC: "hmm…...and the 27th?"
    Me: "Such and such at Kanata"
    SC: "What time is that one?"
    Me: "All of the seminars run at 1pm then again at 7pm at every location."
    SC: "Oh…what about the 28th? What time is that one at?"
    Me: "1pm and 7pm."
    SC: "Oh, ok, what about-"

    MAKE. A. DECISION. Before I try to stab you in the face with my computer speaker. I know its not sharp and it won't pierce skin on the first try but I'm willing to put in the time and effort required to make it do so. So either pick a seminar or clear your schedule because you have an appointment with the Mli 699 Hi-Fi Sound Monitor with Magnetic Shielding. The two of you are going to become very intimate with each other but it may take an hour or two of work on my part before you warm up to each other. Bring roses.



    Prizes

    Me: "Good evening, <company name> Roofing and Drainage"
    SC: "Drainage? What was this?"
    Me "<company> Roofing and Drainage"
    SC: "This isn't a cab?"

    Ding ding ding! We have a winner! What's your prize, you ask? My scorn and ire. Both come with a lifetime guarantee. Enjoy.



    Geography

    SC: "Yeah I had some questions about your resort-"
    Me: "Alright, well our travel agents do not arrive until 8am pacific. But they should be able to answer your questi-"
    SC: "What currency do you use there?"
    Me: "….our travel agents can assist you with that after 8am."
    SC: "What currency do you use there in the Bahamas? Euros?"
    Me: "……..this is <company name>, not the Bahamas."

    ….Euros? You think they use EUROS in the Bahamas? Did England annex Cuba last night? Are they using it as a staging platform to invade? No? Then no, they don't use Euros. Its not even that hard. I mean they're called EUROS. Euros. Europe. Get it? Got it? Good. Now go away. I still have one speaker left and its lonely.

    ( Yes I'm aware two of the islands around that area belong to Britain. But they aren't the Bahamas and they don't use Euros either so NAH. )



    Industrial Power
    ( This company deals with industrial quantities of bulk gases such as O2 or CO2 tanks. )

    Me: "Good morning, <company name thats quite obvious what they sell>."
    SC: "Excuse me?"
    Me: "This is <company name thats quite obvious what they sell>."
    SC: "Do you deal with accessories?"
    Me: "Accessories for what?"
    SC: "Cell phones."

    Not unless your cell phone irrationally requires industrial size air tanks to operate, no. Not even close really. That'd be a hell of a cell phone though.



    Off Target

    Me: "Good morning, <company name> roofing."
    SC: "I'm calling about a sign I saw for government jobs?"
    Me: "You have the wrong number."
    SC: "Oh, ok, bye."

    You're even more off then the cell phone air tank woman. But much less persistent. I like that. Have a cookie.




    Day one: Complete.
    Last edited by Gravekeeper; 06-21-2007, 03:27 PM.

  • #2
    Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
    Me: "Good morning, <company name> roofing."
    SC: "I'm calling about a sign I saw for government jobs?"
    Me: "You have the wrong number."
    SC: "Oh, ok, bye."
    Points for being nice about it, points taken away for NOT LISTENING.
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
      Geography

      SC: "Yeah I had some questions about your resort-"
      Me: "Alright, well our travel agents do not arrive until 8am pacific. But they should be able to answer your questi-"
      SC: "What currency do you use there?"
      Me: "….our travel agents can assist you with that after 8am."
      SC: "What currency do you use there in the Bahamas? Euros?"
      Me: "……..this is <company name>, not the Bahamas."

      ….Euros? You think they use EUROS in the Bahamas? Did England annex Cuba last night? Are they using it as a staging platform to invade? No? Then no, they don't use Euros. Its not even that hard. I mean they're called EUROS. Euros. Europe. Get it? Got it? Good. Now go away. I still have one speaker left and its lonely.

      ( Yes I'm aware two of the islands around that area belong to Britain. But they aren't the Bahamas and they don't use Euros either so NAH. )


      I'll have to give this guy a half point for at least understanding the concept that other countries have their own currency. Sadly, it will be taken away the day before his trip when he calls the travel agency to ask them to exchange his money.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Gravekeeper View Post

        MAKE. A. DECISION. Before I try to stab you in the face with my computer speaker. I know its not sharp and it won't pierce skin on the first try but I'm willing to put in the time and effort required to make it do so. So either pick a seminar or clear your schedule because you have an appointment with the Mli 699 Hi-Fi Sound Monitor with Magnetic Shielding. The two of you are going to become very intimate with each other but it may take an hour or two of work on my part before you warm up to each other. Bring roses.
        Scissors work better, has do the pens in my purse if you're going for the throat. If you really insist on using the speaker I reccomend using the backdoor route.
        How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

        Comment


        • #5
          The "indecision" story was just horrible! Its bad enough repeating it once, but when you repeat it 3 or 4 times.. AH!! Its enough to make your brain explode.
          Be like the flower that perfumes the very hand that crushes it.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Soulstealer View Post
            Scissors work better, has do the pens in my purse if you're going for the throat. If you really insist on using the speaker I reccomend using the backdoor route.
            As long as it's a 12" or bigger woofer, and as long as it goes in *sideways* I don't see a problem here
            Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth auntiem View Post
              I'll have to give this guy a half point for at least understanding the concept that other countries have their own currency. Sadly, it will be taken away the day before his trip when he calls the travel agency to ask them to exchange his money.
              You wouldn't believe the number of people who come to British Columbia, a province in CANADA, and have taken the time and effort to convert all their currency to British Pounds. Or worse, whatever currency Columbia uses.

              These are people from the STATES, not someone from Europe passing through on a tour of North America. The know full well what a Canadian Dollar is, but... well, it's British Columbia, so that means it's either British or Columbian, right?

              Used to see them all the time at the Ferry Terminals, ranting and raving at the poor ticket agent.

              Then there are the people who drive up to Whistler in the middle of summer with skiis strapped to the roofs of their cars...
              Check out my webcomic!

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                Indecision

                SC: "You guys have a seminar going on the 26th and the 28th in Ottawa?"
                Me: "Yes we do, would you like to register?"
                SC: "What about the 27th?"
                Me: "There's a seminar in Kanata on the 27th."
                SC: "Oh. Where's the 26th one?"
                Me: "That one's at the such and such hotel in Ottawa on the 26th."
                SC: "and the one on the 28th?"
                Me: "That’s in Ottawa at the such and such hotel."
                SC: "Where was the 26th again?"
                Me: "Such and such in Ottawa."
                SC: "hmm…...and the 27th?"
                Me: "Such and such at Kanata"
                SC: "What time is that one?"
                Me: "All of the seminars run at 1pm then again at 7pm at every location."
                SC: "Oh…what about the 28th? What time is that one at?"
                Me: "1pm and 7pm."
                SC: "Oh, ok, what about-"

                Wait, I'm still not getting this, could you go through it again?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                  Did England annex Cuba last night? Are they using it as a staging platform to invade?
                  Ssh!

                  It's supposed to be a secret. Our massed ranks of tea and hot buttered crumpet are in camoflage (not pink), ready to take on the might of ... well, whatever gets in our way.

                  Rapscallion

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Nothing says Granville like a weird old guy with no neck in a Hawaiian shirt so new the price tag is still dangling from it, with black slacks, nice shoes, a backpack and one hand down the front of his pants hunting for truffles. God bless you, Vancouver. I am so desensitized now nothing phases me.
                    ... i have to say it....

                    mayybe hes a clueless agent (good or bad)
                    They always dress like that in the movies....

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Heck, Britain doesn't use the Euro, why would a territory of theirs?
                      Stupid Things

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                        ( The morning floor sup suggested I add timeleaping or timeshifting to my otherwise lengthy messiah title. )
                        Still waiting for the t-shirts. I think they should come in rainbow.
                        Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                        HR believes the first person in the door
                        Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                        Document everything
                        CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Soulstealer View Post
                          Scissors work better, has do the pens in my purse if you're going for the throat.
                          "Ken, thanks for the pen."
                          Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                          HR believes the first person in the door
                          Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                          Document everything
                          CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Polenicus View Post
                            You wouldn't believe the number of people who come to British Columbia, a province in CANADA, and have taken the time and effort to convert all their currency to British Pounds. Or worse, whatever currency Columbia uses.
                            I am evil because it made my day to picture those people getting strip searched at customs because they are coming from B.C. with a wad of Columbian cash.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I've always been rather dubious about the idea of truffles (well, except the chocolate kind)
                              but I have now officially crossed them off my list of foods to try someday.
                              I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                              I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                              It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                              Comment

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