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Ma'am, I Am Tonight!

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  • Ma'am, I Am Tonight!

    Good and bad and both on a motorized cart. I'll start with the bad one first.

    The first one was a man who needed 4XL shorts. I won't go into the specifics except to say that I thoroughly checked every rack of shorts and I was sad to tell him that we didn't have any 4XL. I suggested ordering them online as our plus sizes tend to sell very quickly.

    Then he said, "What's the first two words a Puerto Rican learns when he comes to America."

    I sighed but mumbled, "What?"

    "Attention K-mart shoppers." He proceeded to giggle like an idiot during which I replied, "That's three words, sir."

    I probably didn't help the situation but if he was bothered by the retort, he didn't show it or seem to complain.

    The second one was an older lady with her ever so slightly younger daughter who wanted to use the same fitting room together. Both women had declining mobility and we only had one handicapped fitting room. I didn't see the problem in letting them use the room together, although there was some gray area.

    The much older lady (81 this month, she told me) needed help going from the cart to the fitting room. I gave her the use of my arm and back and helped her in. No clothes were off at the time but I still felt a teensy bit worried that I was opening the company to liability issues. But what could I do? I was the only associate and if I made her walk in there alone, she might have fallen and the publicity would have gone nuclear.

    After almost two hours of trying all their clothes on, I assisted her back to the motorized cart.

    "You must be a Christian," she said.

    To which I replied, "Man I am tonight."

    I don't know if she knew the song but I said it with a smile.
    Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

  • #2
    That line certainly makes more sense coming from Marc Cohn than it does Richie McDonald. Good answer, on more than one level,
    Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
    Save the Ales!
    Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

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    • #3
      What song is that?

      While I appreciate trying to go along with the customer on the "you must be a Christian" thing, that sort of thing does bug me. (remainder clipped for fear of fratching)

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      • #4
        Walking in Memphis by Marc Cohn.
        Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
        Save the Ales!
        Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

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        • #5
          That kind of remark bugs me too. I went off on someone once for that. Not proud of it but she pushed a button.

          It was nice of you to help her into and out of the fitting room, though.
          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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          • #6
            I came here precisely because of the title.

            The comment might annoy me but in terms of insults, offensiveness and/or presumption, it is (to me) so low on the scale that I would just smile and say ... who knows what, but I'd try for something polite.

            I wish I could say I'd have used that same phrase from the song, but I guarantee I wouldn't have thought of it. But if the occasion ever arises in future ...
            Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
            ~ Mr Hero

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            • #7
              I like to call myself culturally Christian - it's my background, very much so, but my grandparents quit going to church when I was about 5 (Presbyterian), and I'm not sure my parents ever actually belonged to one or attended regularly. So I have the basic Judeo Christian background, most of my cussing tends to be blasphemes (snicker), but I'm atheist, personally. I'll respect anybody elses beliefs as long as they aren't hypocritical about it, but I'll never share them.

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              • #8
                Funny thing

                Even the Bible says people who do the christian things even while not being Christians are looked in favour by God.

                In other words, even the Bible says people do the same things as are expected for Christians while they are NOT Christians in any way, in fact saying these people may have never heard of the Bible or it's contents.

                They are just doing what any decent human being would do!

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                • #9
                  Quoth TheWolfEmperor View Post
                  Good and bad and both on a motorized cart. I'll start with the bad one first.

                  Then he said, "What's the first two words a Puerto Rican learns when he comes to America."

                  I sighed but mumbled, "What?"

                  "Attention K-mart shoppers." He proceeded to giggle like an idiot during which I replied, "That's three words, sir."
                  WOW if your going to go there at least update it to an Wallemrt comment.
                  AkaiKitsune
                  Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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                  • #10
                    Fortunately, Wally World isn't known for frequent announcements of that format the way that K-Mart was.
                    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                    One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                    The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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                    • #11
                      The other day something happened that bookends the events of my original post.

                      I tried to help a customer find envelopes for greeting cards. We didn't have the ones she wanted. She thanked me and gave me a "hundred dollar bill", because she wanted to spread the gospel. It was a tract, hence the quotation marks.

                      As professionally as possible I said, "No thank you, I'm an atheist. And my parents are Catholic so that's double whammy."

                      It sounded clever in my head, don't ask me what I meant by it. The elderly woman in the first post was being strangely complimentary. This woman was shoving her religion in my face and the same way you would say, "I'm allergic to peanuts!" if someone shoved a Snickers in your face, I felt the need to be more direct in this instance."
                      Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth TheWolfEmperor View Post
                        The other day something happened that bookends the events of my original post.

                        I tried to help a customer find envelopes for greeting cards. We didn't have the ones she wanted. She thanked me and gave me a "hundred dollar bill", because she wanted to spread the gospel. It was a tract, hence the quotation marks.

                        As professionally as possible I said, "No thank you, I'm an atheist. And my parents are Catholic so that's double whammy."

                        It sounded clever in my head, don't ask me what I meant by it. The elderly woman in the first post was being strangely complimentary. This woman was shoving her religion in my face and the same way you would say, "I'm allergic to peanuts!" if someone shoved a Snickers in your face, I felt the need to be more direct in this instance."
                        Fuck I've done worse for less. She didn't say what gospel, mine would of been not to put ketchup on eggs.
                        AkaiKitsune
                        Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth TheWolfEmperor View Post
                          She thanked me and gave me a "hundred dollar bill", because she wanted to spread the gospel.
                          When someone hands me one of those, I put it in the trash, right in front of them. My religion or lack thereof is my business, and your tract isn't going to influence me in any way. I'd say more, but it's starting to veer into fratching territory. Feel free to continue over there.

                          (Big Green Cab Co has an unofficial policy: 3 things you do not discuss: sex, politics, and religion. I imagine Yeller Cab does too.)
                          Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
                          OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
                          she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
                          Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- Jester

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Deserted View Post
                            When someone hands me one of those, I put it in the trash, right in front of them. My religion or lack thereof is my business, and your tract isn't going to influence me in any way. I'd say more, but it's starting to veer into fratching territory. Feel free to continue over there.

                            (Big Green Cab Co has an unofficial policy: 3 things you do not discuss: sex, politics, and religion. I imagine Yeller Cab does too.)
                            An honest tract would be one thing, but the bait-and-switch aspect of those would at least get a death-glare from me.

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                            • #15
                              I have a personal policy of avoiding discussion of religion and politics at work. Too contentious, doesn't help what little professional atmosphere the place has.

                              The kids I work with probably think the graying late-40s type is long past sex (they're wrong, of course, but you know how 20-somethings are about the "old"), so seem not to go there conversationally around me. Worst it's gotten at my current site was the girl who's in her 7th month with her first and two mothers who got into a fairly graphic discussion of medical aspects of childbirth. The younger guy sitting near this just kept taking calls. I did feel kinda bad for him, though.
                              "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

                              "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

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