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I just told you...
  #1  
Old 06-10-2018, 06:17 PM
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TheWolfEmperor TheWolfEmperor is offline
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Location: Tycho Station
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Default I just told you...

Customer: I'm looking for a thing.

Me: I know right where that is.

Customer: Do you know the thing?

Me: Yes. If you'll just follow me, I'll take you right to it.

Customer: It's a thing. It's the thing you do things with, so do you have the thing?

Me: Really, I know exactly what the thing is as evidenced by the fact that I verbally confirmed my recognition of said thing and am now leading you to it.

This about sums it up. I've had it happen about six times this week alone.

  #2  
Old 06-10-2018, 08:24 PM
Buzzard Buzzard is offline
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The zombies, they have money... and want the things.

There's more than one way to get your brains. There's the hard way of eating through your skull, then there's the easier way of making your grey matter liquefy and dribble out your ears.

  #3  
Old 06-10-2018, 08:31 PM
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TheWolfEmperor TheWolfEmperor is offline
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Like a gray matter smoothly.

  #4  
Old 06-10-2018, 09:49 PM
Buzzard Buzzard is offline
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You know you're close to being done when they ask for the thing.... the straw... you know, the thing you can do the thing with and have.... thingy.

  #5  
Old 06-10-2018, 11:29 PM
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gerund gerund is offline
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Location: Queensland Australia
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Closely followed by

"There was a thing on the screen and then it didn't work. Can you make it work?"

"Yes certainly. Third one I've had this week"

  #6  
Old 06-10-2018, 11:56 PM
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Argabarga Argabarga is offline
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Location: State College, PA
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These people would starve on an island with a can opener and a crate of rations.
__________________
- They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  #7  
Old 06-11-2018, 12:20 AM
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EricKei EricKei is offline
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Location: Wandering Greyhawk
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But, the thing is...Do you have the thing?
__________________
"Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read" - me
"Sexual intellectuals. They're f@%#ing know-it-alls" - Chuck Yeager
"Good men don't need rules; today is not the day to find out why I have so many." - The Doctor
"[Friendship,] like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival. ~ C. S. Lewis

"French is my favorite ... Especially to curse with ... It's like wiping your arse with silk. I love it." The Merovingian, "The Matrix: Reloaded"
"Customers are like van Gogh. They intentionally remove their ears when it suits them." TheDangOofMan, Reddit

  #8  
Old 06-11-2018, 12:43 AM
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Kristev Kristev is offline
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Location: No longer on the streets and that's wonderful.
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Yes. And Jaws. And Freddy Krueger. And Jason. And the girl from The Bad Seed. And we even have Chucky and his bride. They're right over here, waiting for you on isle seven.

Will all monsters and bloodthirsty things, starting with The Thing, please report to isle seven?
__________________
Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

  #9  
Old 06-11-2018, 02:12 AM
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TheWolfEmperor TheWolfEmperor is offline
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Quote:
Quoth EricKei View Post
But, the thing is...Do you have the thing?
She prefers to be called Mothra.

  #10  
Old 06-11-2018, 03:06 AM
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Monterey Jack Monterey Jack is offline
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Quote:
Quoth Buzzard View Post
You know you're close to being done when they ask for the thing.... the straw... you know, the thing you can do the thing with and have.... thingy.
"Hey, Marge, where's that metal dealie you use to dig...food?"

"You mean a spoon?"

"Yeah-yeah-yeah..." [starts gobbling ice cream out of the carton]
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