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I don't have kids...yet.

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  • I don't have kids...yet.

    Customer: Would you like a six-year old today?
    Me: No thank you.
    Customer: I could drop him off.
    Me: Right, no.
    Customer: He could be quite entertaining…

    I don't want my own kids...I certainly don't want yours!
    The universe is mostly empty space, and so is your job. ~Dilbert

  • #2
    That lady sounds like my mom. She kept (i think) joking to waitresses and other people about trading me instead of paying her bill, or even just for a discount. It's been a while since she's pulled that one though, she's more into the whole trying to fix me up.
    Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

    http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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    • #3
      Quoth Phone Jockey
      Customer: Would you like a six-year old today?
      Me: No thank you.
      Customer: I could drop him off.
      Me: Right, no.
      Customer: He could be quite entertaining…

      I don't want my own kids...I certainly don't want yours!
      I have offered my boss my 16 y.o. brother (whom I act as surrogate parent to during the school year) several times. He has 21 1/2 month old twins, I try to tell him it will be good training, but so far, he hasn't bit.
      Zee website has been *UPDATED*

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      • #4
        Quoth Phone Jockey
        Customer: Would you like a six-year old today?
        Me: No thank you.
        Customer: I could drop him off.
        Me: Right, no.
        Customer: He could be quite entertaining…

        I don't want my own kids...I certainly don't want yours!

        Maybe she was trying to be funny, but it's not unheard of for parents to abandon (or try to) their children that way. I'd read a story or two about it in the newspaper in the past.

        My older siblings would occasionally mutter something about selling myself and Bella to the gypsies, or letting them kidnap us. I'm forever threatening to sell my nieces and nephews to the Amish.
        Unseen but seeing
        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
        3rd shift needs love, too
        RIP, mo bhrionglĂłid

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        • #5
          i tried that with the pizza guy just sunday... but he didn't want my mom... i think her singing scared him off... i dunno why, that's why i wanted to give her to him in the first place!

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          • #6
            Quoth norrina
            . He has 21 1/2 month old twins, I try to tell him it will be good training, but so far, he hasn't bit.
            Your boss has 21 children?
            "I call murder on that!"

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            • #7
              Quoth Juwl
              Your boss has 21 children?
              no - 42 -> 21 sets of twins, all 1/2 month old

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              • #8
                I also once had a woman try to pawn her husband off on me to pay off her car insurance pymt. Lovely.
                The universe is mostly empty space, and so is your job. ~Dilbert

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                • #9
                  OK, Now I'M the STOOOOOOPID. I thought your 16-yr old brother had the twins, and I was thinking S**T !!!
                  I used to be schizophrenic . . but we're much better now.

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                  • #10
                    Sort of on topic:

                    When I give my customers a contract to sign (I sell cell phones) they seem to think "Am I signing away my first-born?" is a witty comment. I usually just tell them, "Yes, actually, that's why I work here, my parents didn't pay their bill."

                    Maybe if they spent more time actually reading the contract instead of making lame jokes, they wouldn't be so surprised down the road when they realize they can't just make up the terms of service.
                    Dips: The best karma happens when you let a jerk bash themselves senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

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                    • #11
                      I have "funny" parents who try that sometimes.

                      "Want a kid? I'll throw him in for free."
                      Me: "Nope. Got my own kids, thanks."
                      "You need more."
                      Me: "Nope. Had my tubes tied to prevent that but thanks."

                      That's where the conversation usually shuts down.
                      "I don't want any part of your crazy cult! I'm already a member of the public library and that's good enough for me, thanks!"

                      ~TechSmith 314
                      HellGate: London

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                      • #12
                        I threaten to sell my children to a sweat shop in China. They never believe me though.

                        I tell my husband he is more than welcome to sell his first born, but not my first born.
                        Do not annoy the woman with the flamethrower!

                        If you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell! ~Trinity from The Matrix

                        Yes, MadMike does live under my couch.

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                        • #13
                          Y'all are having WAY too much fun with my poorly worded post.

                          How about: I have a 16 year old brother that I act as surrogate parent to during the school year. I have offered him to my boss several times, as my boss has a set of twins just under 22 months old, so I try to tell him it will be good training, but so far, he hasn't bit.

                          Better?
                          Zee website has been *UPDATED*

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