Pretentious Ass

[MoonCat]

So a week or 2 ago I had a call at work from a guy with a stuffy-sounding name and tone of voice to match, wanting a copy of something he'd run in our paper. I sent him two copies of the ad proof, one regular size and one enlarged.

Today he called back. Below are the basics of our conversation:

Pretentious Ass: This is NOT what I wanted. I wanted AN IMAGE of the ad as it appeared in the paper!

Me: That is what a proof is, sir.

PA: Listen, I'm a writer. I've been been published nationally (note: Whoop-de-doo) I've been in the business since 1963 and this is NOT an image of the ad.

Me (well, I guess that beats my 34+ years, doesn't it? ): Unfortunately we don't keep tearsheets for very long--

PA interrupting: Yes, that's why I called as soon as possible! I can see this is a BOTHER.

Me: No, it's not a bother--

PA interrupting again: Yes, it is, and it's too late now and blah blah blah....

Me: All right, perhaps we misunderstood what you wanted--

PA: Do I sound like the kind of person who can be misunderstood?

Me: .....
(while thinking, no, I understand very well that you think you're better than me, that I don't know what I'm talking about, and that your JOB as a writer makes you better, smarter and more important than me)

PA: more blah blah and he finally hung up. I said nothing for the rest of the call. I can't convey the extremely patronizing tone he used through the whole conversation.

However....I got curious and Googled his name to see what he'd written. Know what I found?

Numerous letters to the editor of his small-town newspaper (pop. under 30K).

Yep. Nothing else. Now I know that doesn't totally preclude his having been published somewhere, sometime in the past. But it sure seems odd that there isn't ONE mention of his name associated with a book, a play, a magazine article, a scholarly publication, or something. Even if he wrote a regular column for his newspaper, it hardly qualifies as "nationally."

[Nordel]

What a douche!

[Insomnia]

Oh I hate people like that!

You should have called his bluff and ask what work he has published or google his name while on the phone

[MoonCat]

Oh I hate people like that!

You should have called his bluff and ask what work he has published or google his name while on the phone

I never thought of it, but now I wish I had. Of course, every time I opened my mouth he interrupted me.

[bankworking]

Of course he could have used a pen name. Doubt it though. He's as much a writer as the many "law" quoting SCs are lawyers.

[Tama]

I promise never to get like that if I ever actually get published. :P

[MoonCat]

I promise never to get like that if I ever actually get published. :P

Yeah, me too!

And I doubt he'd use a pen name. He came across as the kind of person who wants EVERYONE to know who he is. And judging by the titles of the letters he'd written to the newspaper, he's that guy (every town has one) that has a problem with EVERYTHING and writes to the paper about it.

[aurelemsrealm]

Buzz Killington.... For some reason, that's what came to mind as I read the OP.

[Jester]

I've been published a total of three times. Once in my first high school in the writing magazine the school put out, two pieces.

And twice in letters to the editor of the school newspaper at college.*

And while all four items were brilliantly written, that publication entitles me to exactly shit. And means exactly shit. Other than I can turn a phrase here and there. Which is pretty much obvious to anyone who's been on this site for more than a few days.


*Amusingly, one of those letters to the editor took the editor to task in no uncertain terms, by name. So much so that when we met a short time later, even though we were at one of the largest universities in the nation, she knew exactly who I was. And...we ended up becoming pretty good friends for a while. Wish I could remember her name or find out whatever happened to her.

[earl colby pottinger]

Suggestions

1) Vanity press. Which of-course means he is nobody since he needs to spend money to get published.

2) Free Web press. Of-course this also is meaningless if no-one found anything he published to be worth paying to read.

3) Too limited to count published article. Personally, one of my articles was published in both Canada and America, but no-one knows of me because it was a limited run that only people who own Amiga computers in 1986 would ever read. PS. Also the company went bankrupt three months later - I never got paid.

4) Too small to count. I published a magazine in 1982 (two issues only), sold enough not to lose money, but all of them were sold in Toronto only.

4) And the mostly likely answer is he is puffing himself up and has never published a thing, just making a empty claim to seem important.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Yeah, me too!

And I doubt he'd use a pen name. He came across as the kind of person who wants EVERYONE to know who he is. And judging by the titles of the letters he'd written to the newspaper, he's that guy (every town has one) that has a problem with EVERYTHING and writes to the paper about it.

I call that kind of person "The R.P. Tyler" after the character from Good Omens.

[Mr Hero]

So the SC has written nationally? Big deal! I write stuff all the time seen by an international audience. I know for certain I've written stuff that has been seen by people in the UK and Australia.

Such as this post.

[mathnerd]

So the SC has written nationally? Big deal! I write stuff all the time seen by an international audience. I know for certain I've written stuff that has been seen by people in the UK and Australia.

Such as this post.

I had the exact same thought. Between here, another site a I post on and my Facebook page, I can claim to have a regular readership on every continent except Antarctica.