A few things I wish people knew about scratch off tickets.
1) All the tickets are the f-ing same. You don't need to take 10 minutes deciding and holding up the line. The one where you match 3 numbers is the same friggin thing as the one where you match 3 geometric shapes.
2) These are pre-printed tickets. They are not at all random. Just because you don't know whats there doesn;'t mean its not over and done with. No little good luck charm, or what day of the week it is, or a full moon, are going to change whats already been printed on the ticket. If its a loser, it was a loser 6 months ago when it was printed, it's been a loser every single day and it's still going to be a loser when its sitting here tomorrow. Unless some loser buys it.
3) If you're going to buy 50 tickets, buy 50 tickets. don't buy one ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket.
4) Do not save up all of your damn winners from the past ten years and cash them in all at once. Little hint: If you've already been a pain in the ass all day, I will do your tickets right then and there, and make everyone else wait so they can give you dirty looks.
5) There is no way I am scanning the ticket you found on the floor of your pickup truck. I'm not going to accept the one you found while digging out a sewer, either.
6) The games all expire at some point. Don't complain to me if machine rejects the ticket you bought in 1956.
7) I am not going to play your ticket for you. If you bought one of the more complicated ones and can't figure it out, tough shit. I'll explain it once, but I am not going to sit there and scratch for you. And I don't have time to scan every ticket through the machine just to check if its a winner. Every time I do that it resets the machine and it has to redial and connect to the state server or something. It takes like 5 minutes per ticket.
8) Oh, you ripped the barcode off it? I can't scan it and I can't read the numbers to manually enter it. You fail.
9) No ma'am, we do not sell powerball tickets here. Just like we didn't yesterday when you called. Just like we didn't the day before, either. Or last week. Or every day that you've asked for the past 3 years.
10) I hate lottery.
1) All the tickets are the f-ing same. You don't need to take 10 minutes deciding and holding up the line. The one where you match 3 numbers is the same friggin thing as the one where you match 3 geometric shapes.
2) These are pre-printed tickets. They are not at all random. Just because you don't know whats there doesn;'t mean its not over and done with. No little good luck charm, or what day of the week it is, or a full moon, are going to change whats already been printed on the ticket. If its a loser, it was a loser 6 months ago when it was printed, it's been a loser every single day and it's still going to be a loser when its sitting here tomorrow. Unless some loser buys it.
3) If you're going to buy 50 tickets, buy 50 tickets. don't buy one ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket and then another ticket.
4) Do not save up all of your damn winners from the past ten years and cash them in all at once. Little hint: If you've already been a pain in the ass all day, I will do your tickets right then and there, and make everyone else wait so they can give you dirty looks.
5) There is no way I am scanning the ticket you found on the floor of your pickup truck. I'm not going to accept the one you found while digging out a sewer, either.
6) The games all expire at some point. Don't complain to me if machine rejects the ticket you bought in 1956.
7) I am not going to play your ticket for you. If you bought one of the more complicated ones and can't figure it out, tough shit. I'll explain it once, but I am not going to sit there and scratch for you. And I don't have time to scan every ticket through the machine just to check if its a winner. Every time I do that it resets the machine and it has to redial and connect to the state server or something. It takes like 5 minutes per ticket.
8) Oh, you ripped the barcode off it? I can't scan it and I can't read the numbers to manually enter it. You fail.
9) No ma'am, we do not sell powerball tickets here. Just like we didn't yesterday when you called. Just like we didn't the day before, either. Or last week. Or every day that you've asked for the past 3 years.
10) I hate lottery.
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