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Just say "no" if you're cheap

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  • Just say "no" if you're cheap

    Last week, a groomsman came in to rent his apparel for a wedding. He asked what had been chosen. Then he starts whining. "Gray pants and a white shirt? I already have those." He then went outside to call the groom and ask if he HAD to rent this. Came back in and sulked through the rest of the transaction. There was also a vest and tie to be rented.

    You know, I get it. The wedding business exists to separate people from their money. I wouldn't have asked my attendants to do that. I've dealt with brides who asked for next to nothing, and some who are labor intensive. Just because some one asked you to be in a wedding, you don't have to say "Yes."

  • #2
    His lucky stars

    Quoth workerbee222 View Post
    You know, I get it. The wedding business exists to separate people from their money. I wouldn't have asked my attendants to do that. I've dealt with brides who asked for next to nothing, and some who are labor intensive. Just because some one asked you to be in a wedding, you don't have to say "Yes."
    Does this idiot realize what he would have to handle if he was female instead.

    No rental in 99% of the weddings.

    Clothes design selected by the bride, no herself. Many of them unwearable for other events.

    No returns.

    No make-up.

    No high-heel shoes.

    No fighting over the bridal bouquet.


    Can you tell that I watch Bridezillas?

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    • #3
      I thought I was doing my groomsmen a favor by saying: "Wear a suit or blazer and some nice slacks."

      Yeah, that didn't work out as well as I hoped; three of them didn't own fitting suits.

      For my wife, her request was: "Wear something pastel"... I don't know if any of those were re-use or got re-used.

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      • #4
        I only had a best man. He had the jacket and slacks, but no shirt or tie. I bought them for him. I think my wife bought her bride's maid's dress for her, too. Just because one is invited to participate in the wedding doesn't mean they should have to pay to do so. If I invite you, isn't it my responsibility?
        I will not be pushed, stamped, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own. --#6

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        • #5
          My sister purchased some inexpensive material and made her own dress. I did the same when her wedding occurred.

          Best man wore a navy blazer, tan slacks, white shirt and tie.

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          • #6
            The only wedding I was in was as a junior bridesmaid around age 13. The outfits were made by my aunt, the bride's mother. They were cut as a sort of jumpsuit, in pale lavender, with the bodice in dark purple crushed velvet. Yeah, no way to wear that again...
            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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            • #7
              My sisters wore their LBD's, on my request. I wasn't going to make them buy dresses. The groomsmen were in rented suits, though now I'm not quite sure why we did that... Maybe one of them didn't have a grey suit?

              I didn't go very traditional for mine, though. Keep saying I'm going to submit to OffBeat Bride, but haven't done it yet (nearly 3 years on...).

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              • #8
                Was bridesmaid in june. Orginal brief for the dress was anythig blue. Then she found 2 nice dresses in the right blue for $20 each. Bought them for us and told us if we don't like it buy something we do.

                The guys wore black suits they already owned with blue ties she got cheap off ebay.

                It was a girl and a guy on either side so if the dress didn't match it didn't matter too much.

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                • #9
                  I'm confused; is it the tradition for the wedding party to buy their own outfits in America? In the UK if the wedded couple want specific outfits for bridesmaids/groomsmen they have to buy them. If the wedding party had to shell out hundreds of pounds for specialised clothes they'd never wear again then there would be a lot of people refusing to come!
                  "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                  Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                  The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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                  • #10
                    I'm in Canada, and at least around here I think it is more of a 'tradition' than actual tradition. It seems to go both ways or somewhere in between equally. The last wedding party I was in the bride gave us material, lots of black with a little rusty/orangey colour, gave us the name of a dressmaker who would sew standard dresses for $60-$80, and told us to we could sew our own, use her dressmaker, or find our own. Pick any style of dress you want, wear any black shoes you want. It meant we actually ended up with dresses we liked and could wear again (the one girl hated the rust colour, and had hers made into a belt that she removed once the wedding was over, so even she had a black dress she liked).

                    I think a lot of brides recognize the financial realities, so they are trying to place less burden on the wedding party.
                    Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Captain Trips View Post
                      If I invite you, isn't it my responsibility?
                      I have always believed that is how it should be.

                      It is my wedding and I should cover expenses for my attendants. I think it's outrageous that people are expected to cover their own costs to help someone else out.

                      Maybe I'm old school but if it's my wedding and I want you there to help me I will pay your costs.
                      The customer is always right until I decide he isn't.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth greek_jester View Post
                        I'm confused; is it the tradition for the wedding party to buy their own outfits in America? In the UK if the wedded couple want specific outfits for bridesmaids/groomsmen they have to buy them. If the wedding party had to shell out hundreds of pounds for specialised clothes they'd never wear again then there would be a lot of people refusing to come!
                        Pretty much, although groomsmen typically rent tuxedos. I've only been in my sister's wedding, but I paid for the dress and shoes, although she bought the earrings.

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                        • #13
                          Weddings= money. Ha! My wife and I skipped all that. Rings too!
                          Just got it all taken care of by the judge with a couple of witnesses.
                          Then I thought it was a good time to have my parents meet my wife.
                          Easy.

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                          • #14
                            Yeah, for the longest time I thought if you were a bridesmaid that you were provided the dress, because it seems INSANE to require other people to purchase such hideous garments. Also, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that until recently (I'm 27) I thought that if a couple had a destination wedding, that they paid for everyone's stay. I can't imagine sending invitations which said something to the effect of "You're invited to our Caribbean wedding! Pay for your own flight, hotel, and food!"
                            Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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                            • #15
                              I've been directly involved in two weddings, one as the bride, one as a bridesmaid. For my wedding, my dress and the tuxedos of the groom and best man were rented. We (now ex-husband and myself) paid the rental fees for all of it. My maid of honor wore a simple floral print dress that I think she already owned. I know the best man (groom's elder brother) and my maid of honor wouldn't have been able to afford to shell out for an expensive set of clothes for the occasion, and I wouldn't have dreamed of asking them to. Heck, if we'd had to BUY the clothes, my dress would have been a much plainer affair and the guys would have been in slacks and dress shirts most likely.

                              For the other one, the bridesmaids dresses were all made by a relative of the bride, all she asked of us was that we show up for a couple of fittings. The dresses were nice, dark grey satin and not all fluffy. I made her bouquet, and the centerpieces for the reception, with flowers she bought. (Professional floral designer for 5 years. An interesting job, with surprisingly few really sucky customers. But that reminds me...)
                              You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

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