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The Idiot and the Silly Girl.

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  • The Idiot and the Silly Girl.

    NOTE: I have a crap load of stories to tell, but I also realized I write quite a lot of detail. So I'm going to talk about a couple of stories every post.

    At my liquor store, the setup of the doors allows for easy theft. It's a bloody stupid setup. Because of this, we have a sensor put on almost every single bottle and can (except packs of beer that are in the coolers). The ones on the bottles are re-usable, which makes for fun times every delivery day (blisters on my fingers type fun).
    Long story short, you try to steal from us, you set the door sensors off.
    Downside is, sometimes other stores (clothing stores and pharmacies I'm looking at you!) have sensors on their products too that they forget to demagnetize. So people will come in to the store or walk out and they will beep too. If it is your clothing or medication, we demagnetize them so it won't set off in any other stores.
    We like to assume for the most part that people if they beep are completely innocent and so we act this way. We swipe our demagnetizers over jackets in case of sensor tags before we check for bottles.

    You're an Idiot:
    A couple of weeks before X-Mas last year our store was constantly packed. People were coming in from other stores in the mall with recently purchased gifts from other stores. Other stores were unfortunately becoming a lot more negligent with deactivating their own sensors so our door sensors were going off a lot more than usual. It was almost just common practice to just walk over, swipe our machine over their new purchases, and the customer was fine to go. This is where our SC comes in.

    SC sets off the alarm when he goes to exit. He has a bag with him.
    CW: Oh no! The alarms gone off. If you just come here I can demagnetize your stuff for you.
    SC comes back to the till as I approach to stand next to him. Another male CW is behind the till restocking some product.
    SC: I'm in a bit of a hurry.
    CW: That's fine, just place your bag on the till and I can fix it up for you right away.
    SC: (keeping the bag half hidden between himself and the till). Hurry up.
    CW: If you just bring you back up slightly.
    The demagnetizer beeps indicating that there is a sensor in the bag, but isn't on it long enough to demagnetize it. At this point both myself and CW have noticed how oddly he appears to be holding the back. It's turning so a large box inside blocks our view of the rest of the bag and SC appears to be moving and holding something behind it. The sensor goes off again.
    CW: If you could....Sans! He has something in his bag! I can see it!

    SC freaks the hell out. He throws his bag towards CW, pushes past me, and runs out the door with a bottle in his hand. I follow him out the door until common sense reminds me why I never chase customers. At that point, male CW goes sprinting past me. He manages to catch up to the SC, snatch the bottle out of his hands, then bound back a few steps to be out of his reach.

    Male CW: This is not yours. No!
    SC: ...

    Male CW runs back up to the door where I'm standing. We both turn to the SC when he yells out to us.

    SC: Hey! Can I have my other stuff back?
    Me: Sure Just come back inside here with us.

    For some reason he chose to run off instead.

    Back inside, CW had opened his bag. Inside was one of those fake toy laptops for kids. Pretty sweet. The booze he had been trying to steal was worth far less than that.
    On reviewing the security tape playback, we had some awesome footage of male CW vaulting over the 4 foot high, 3 foot wide till without touching a single point of it when he started to give chase. Male CW is like a cheetah and a kangaroo all mixed in one.
    The laptop was put off to the side along with the incident report.
    After 2 weeks it still hadn't been claimed for some reason.
    Our accounting guy ended up with a free extra present for his daughter that year.


    Silly Girl:
    Twas another semi-quiet type of night at the store. We had 2 cashiers, 1 at a till on each end of the store. This particular night we has a female CW on the back till next to the entrance to the back parking lot. On the front till, because he was feeling lazy that night, we had a slouching male CW. On quiet nights, most customers exit through the back door because their cars are parked out there. Only a few would go through the front till.

    I was just exiting the cooler after having filled it up when I noticed that male CW wasn't at his till. There was a customer standing there looking out through the glass doors at something. My interest piked, I poked my head out the doors to see what was going on. I see male CW standing with a whole group of security guards with a short crying girl in the middle.
    Male CW came back inside after a minute and told me what happened.

    Silly Girl (SG) had entered the store and had immediately been noticed by both CW's. This is because she looked barely legal and because for some reason she felt the need to dress in bright pink, green, and yellow colours. Very eye catching.
    SG then circled the store a couple of times, another thing that grabs our attention.
    SG then stuffed a bottle under her jacket. In plain view.
    SG then looked towards both tills and somehow determined that male CW's till would be the easiest to escape through.
    SG walk past male CW out the doors, set the alarms off, then ran out to a courtyard just outside the mall doors where a group of teenagers were waiting.
    Male CW sighed, stands up, and walks after her.

    Here is the point where I feel I should point out that male CW is 6'10" and quite muscly. I have to jog just to stay next to him when he walks.

    Male CW walked calmly outside to the group and softly grabbed the girl around her bicep. Her group of friends, almost all guys and apparently including her loving boyfriend, took one look at male CW and ran like hell, abandoning SG to her fate.
    SG starts screaming for help, saying that male CW is abusing her, he's hurting her, he's gonna rape her. Two random women yell out for her to STFU, she's making women everywhere look bad.
    Male CW marches her back into the mall where security comes to take over.
    An incident report is written and handed off to the police and life goes on as normal in our little store.

  • #2
    Oh.. My... Wow. What absolute gems you must deal with. Sounds like you have pretty awesome coworkers tho
    Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! - Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

    This is Tech Support, not Customer Service.
    What's the difference?
    We're allowed to tell you "no".

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    • #3
      You should never chase thieves, stocks insured - usually. Although we are told to protect stock but that if we give chase we are not covered by companies medical insurance, which is a little contradicting

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      • #4
        Yeah. When it comes to chasing thieves, our company policy is to not follow them out of the store because if you get hurt, workers comp doesn't apply.
        Some of my coworkers will chase thieves despite this.
        I absolutely refuse. Most I will do is call security or yell out horrible things about the persons mothers sexual preferences.
        I also never encourage anyone to chase people down. If the thief is still in the store, our regulars know that if they help get the product back, they could be given free beer or swag as a reward.

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        • #5
          SG's bf ran away? Someone is not getting any for a long long time
          Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

          Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

          I wish porn had subtitles.

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          • #6
            Quoth depechemodefan View Post
            SG's bf ran away? Someone is not getting any for a long long time
            If ever again... Or just a slap in the face and a yelling match, even money.

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            • #7
              Quoth SansDoute View Post
              Male CW is like a cheetah and a kangaroo all mixed in one.
              Man, it's amazing the images my brain can conjure up when I'm tired and given fodder like that.

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              • #8
                Quoth SansDoute View Post
                Male CW: This is not yours. No!
                SC: ...
                While I've known several customers to act like two-year-olds, I don't think I've ever been able to scold one like that. Almost jealous...
                I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
                - Bill Watterson

                My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
                - IPF

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                • #9
                  Props to those other women telling Silly Girl to STFU like that. Always nice to see when those kinds of blatant lies are called out.
                  PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                  There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                    Props to those other women telling Silly Girl to STFU like that. Always nice to see when those kinds of blatant lies are called out.
                    Agreed...OTOH if one of them called police SG would have some 'splaining to do.
                    I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                    Who is John Galt?
                    -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                      Props to those other women telling Silly Girl to STFU like that. Always nice to see when those kinds of blatant lies are called out.
                      Was thinking the same thing. Those women rock!
                      By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

                      "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

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                      • #12
                        I can never understand grown adults stealing liquor. I mean you can find a 5th of nasty vodka for little more then 5 bucks, its gonna taste like the inside of an a$$, but it'll get you drunk (I became quite a coniseur of cheap vodka when I was young and poor) I hope that guy felt like pure fail after losing his child's christmas present too.

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