Another "I hate being female" thread... (squicky-ish)

[KiaKat]

(consider all puns intentional)

Husband and I have been sorta half-assedly trying to get pregnant since last summer. Many cycles were missed due to weird schedules, trips, etc. We buckled down in January, and said "hey, we really should get on top of this."

End of January... PMS is late, PMS is non-existent, period is late, pee on stick... negative. 30 day cycle.

End of February... PMS is non-existent, period is late, period is late, oh look, there's period... 31 day cycle.

March... No real evidence of ovulation... Huh, that's weird, particularly brutal PMS... OH HAI PERIOD AT 23 DAYS.

GODDAMNIT UTERUS STOP TROLLING ME.

*threatens to beat ovaries wif a stick* GET IN SHAPE, YO.

Though... husband is happy. It means I'll be in that post-menstrual HUMP ALL THE THINGS mode for his birthday. I foresee much embarrassment for both me and the lovely lady in the downstairs apartment, come April 2nd. And that means it's entirely possible we can traumatize future youngin with the idea that they were a "birthday present." *grins*

[Gizmo]

Lol. I know that fun and games! I've spent all year being trolled by that and getting totally frustrated by waiting to see and trying not to get 'pre-happy' just in case. I think my longest at one stretch was over 35 days - that was not a good come down afterwards - especially as it ended the same day I saw a very pregnant friend for the first time in ages!

[KiaKat]

Ugh. YES. January was the worst. Lupo and Dasota can attest to that - I was convinced I had finally caught... and nada.

Doesn't help that I had a Very Early (pre-6 weeks) miscarriage late last summer. Had just tested, decent positive, then a clear negative one day later and the worst "period" I'd ever felt. It never really felt real, so there's no weird emotion over it, but the "OMG MAYBE!" anxiety is more of a knot than a happy bubble these days.

[PepperElf]

mine just makes up its own schedule these days. i think it's trying to shut down, but considering i'm 40 now that's not surprising

[telecom_goddess]

mine just makes up its own schedule these days. i think it's trying to shut down, but considering i'm 40 now that's not surprising

Mine can shut down any day now I'm ready.

[Kaylyn]

That's...weird. In March mine came REALLY early as well...nine days to be exact. At least it made its appearance before my vacation week, so that was good.

[Seshat]

Apparently I have an older (miscarried) sibling. He was old enough that they know he would have been a brother.

But don't give up!

Both I and my younger brother are considered to be miracle babies. Some time after his birth, Mum had a gyno check in which they discovered that none of the three of us should have been capable of being conceived, much less carried to term. Two out of three is apparently amazing - yet here we are.

It's four decades of medical research later. You have every chance of success. Good luck!

[NorthernZel]

Since I have mild PCOS, I've been having irregular cycles all of my adult life. So I and Mr Zel chose early to take the "we won't attempt to have a baby, but we surely will practise a lot " option. And after 5 years where we actually had accepted we'd be unvoluntarely child-free, Lil'Zel came along. So don't give up hope!

[Kheldarson]

As we all know, the uterus is the biggest troll of them all.

You know, considering I was within my safe zones during our "practice" times and I'm still pregnant.

YOUR BODY KNOWS WHEN TO MAKE IT WORSE :P

Anyway, I'm sure you'll probably have lots of luck and fun at your next go around.

[fireheart]

I can tell when I'm about to have a period based on the following signs:

-I start thinking I'm pregnant.
-I crave chocolate (seriously: every other day/week I manage to steer clear)
-I feel bloaty or fat. (which isn't different from any other day )
-I get gassy/constipated.

Lately though, my body has decided "Oh hai, we're going to troll you for random periods of time prior to your period" and given me cramps for up to a week prior.

I recently had an Implanon changeover (old one out, new one in) and that may have been affecting my bleeding patterns, but it shouldn't affect my cramping cycle. (normally the cramps come up to 24 hours prior to my period, not an entire week!)

I also discovered that according to the internal exam performed by my GP*, I no longer have a retroverted uterus. Huzzah! Luckily my cramping has gotten less severe on the Implanon to the point where it just feels like I need to "go" constantly.

*=down here, the concept of having a separate doc for girly issues is rare and most things can be managed by your GP. For pregnant women, they have the option of visiting their hospital and seeing the OB/midwives there or "shared" care which involves the majority of your antenatal visits being conducted by your GP (provided they actually DO this) and the stuff they can't do is done at the hospital where possible (ultrasounds, blood tests, amnio, CVS etc.)

[sms001]

Sorry Kia, fail to see the "squick" here.

Best of luck to you and the hubby. It's reassuring to see sane people who want kids giving it a shot.

[raw456]

Kia - I am in the same boat as you

We have been "trying" for about 14 months now and my own cycles have been going haywire too. I'm usually 28 days for 3-4 months then I go 35 days then back to 28, so calculating ovulation has been hard, but I have an app on my phone and if in doubt I run it for both time frames and average out the middle and go from there.

Good Luck - hope it happens soon (for both of us)

[jedimaster91]

Mr Jedi and I are in the same boat. I'm to the point where if it happens I'll be happy about it, and if it doesn't, that's ok too.

GODDAMNIT UTERUS STOP TROLLING ME.

mine just makes up its own schedule these days.

Mine has always kept its own schedule. Even when I was on the pill it wasn't all that unusual for me to skip a month. Sometimes it's not even a "real" period; just kinda gunky stuff. One of these days I'll make it to the doc to start figuring out what's going on, but I've been too lazy to make the appointment.

[Der Cute]

Mine used to be 28, 29 days easy peasy. Now it says, meh, I'll be 30 or 35 tyvm. Shoot, my ex-bf was timing me, counting days, paying more attention than I was. Signals for me are chocolate, boobs aching, acne (worse) and so. During it, I get extremely tired. Like sleep 12 hr tired. I need to do that now, actually.
Hugs, and I agree about Uterus trolling you.

[Mishi]

Agreed! Mine moves around from 28 days up to 8 freaking weeks, but I've had it checked out and there's no medical reason. I'm just officially weird.

Our first pregnancy also ended in a miscarriage (at 10 weeks), the second took 6 cycles of trying, and the third took 4 cycles. With this one, we tried for 6 cycles and then gave up. Two cycles later, we had a bit of a surprise who is due in early July. Try to relax, and hopefully you'll get a lovely surprise. Good luck and have fun practising!