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So there I was, enjoying an extensive vacation away from work when the lovely Mr. Butthugger decides to call me.
I ignored the first eleven calls. Hey, everyone's got a right to sleep in on their vacation, right?
Even if it is until four pm.
Finally, I answer in my usual, professional manner.
"Mr. Scat's taxidermy. You shoot 'em we stuff 'em."
"...Lewis?" Mr. Butthugger's tentative voice comes over the line.
"I'm sorry, Lewis is dead. But if you leave a message I'll make sure he gets it," I say helpfully.
"Lewis, I know this is you. Why haven't you been to work in the last two weeks?"
"I'm on vacation, Mr. Butt Hugger."
"It's Buh-TOO-ger, Lewis, and you were not approved for vacation."
"Sure I was."
"By who?"
"By who?? It's a religious holiday, you know. It's the two weeks of Drunkleheim."
"Uh...what?"
"Man, don't you be disrespecting my holy and chosen church! The Church of Slackissery is very important to me. Surely you aren't discriminating by forcing me to not observe my religious holiday!"
My fervor is convincing him...he sounds even more worried than he normally does.
"Ch-Church of-"
"Slackissery! The Ancient Order of Slackards always takes these two weeks off in observance of the most sacred Drunkleheim."
"I don't think-"
"Don't you dare suggest its not a real church! Just ask Miss Anthropical. She's a member as well!"
"She is? B-but she wasn't off these two weeks..."
"Of COURSE she wasn't. She's only a second priestess. Only Grand High Beerguzzlers observe Drunkleheim...duh!"
He clearly doesn't know when he lost hold of this conversation, but its clear he's realized he has. Finally, weakly, he tries, "So...will you be in tomorrow?"
"With bells on!" I chirp happily. He accepts this and slinks feebly off my phone.
Ah, well. I guess it was too good to last. One thing is for sure though...
I'm BACK!
I was here a while ago under the name DreamGal. Just lettin' y'all know I'm back.
And still a girl.
Despite the new login name.
I ignored the first eleven calls. Hey, everyone's got a right to sleep in on their vacation, right?
Even if it is until four pm.
Finally, I answer in my usual, professional manner.
"Mr. Scat's taxidermy. You shoot 'em we stuff 'em."
"...Lewis?" Mr. Butthugger's tentative voice comes over the line.
"I'm sorry, Lewis is dead. But if you leave a message I'll make sure he gets it," I say helpfully.
"Lewis, I know this is you. Why haven't you been to work in the last two weeks?"
"I'm on vacation, Mr. Butt Hugger."
"It's Buh-TOO-ger, Lewis, and you were not approved for vacation."
"Sure I was."
"By who?"
"By who?? It's a religious holiday, you know. It's the two weeks of Drunkleheim."
"Uh...what?"
"Man, don't you be disrespecting my holy and chosen church! The Church of Slackissery is very important to me. Surely you aren't discriminating by forcing me to not observe my religious holiday!"
My fervor is convincing him...he sounds even more worried than he normally does.
"Ch-Church of-"
"Slackissery! The Ancient Order of Slackards always takes these two weeks off in observance of the most sacred Drunkleheim."
"I don't think-"
"Don't you dare suggest its not a real church! Just ask Miss Anthropical. She's a member as well!"
"She is? B-but she wasn't off these two weeks..."
"Of COURSE she wasn't. She's only a second priestess. Only Grand High Beerguzzlers observe Drunkleheim...duh!"
He clearly doesn't know when he lost hold of this conversation, but its clear he's realized he has. Finally, weakly, he tries, "So...will you be in tomorrow?"
"With bells on!" I chirp happily. He accepts this and slinks feebly off my phone.
Ah, well. I guess it was too good to last. One thing is for sure though...
I'm BACK!
I was here a while ago under the name DreamGal. Just lettin' y'all know I'm back.
And still a girl.
Despite the new login name.
You so don't want me to prove it.
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