First there was My Immortal

[Kiarna]

I find the reviews far more fun than trying to mentally decode her crappily-written drivel. Honestly, my seven-year-old son writes more coherently than she does!

"wiccen Satanist pagen"?! That's kind of like being a Buddhist Mormon Druid. No such thing, in other words.

Owie, I think I sprained my eye muscles from all this eyerolling! And I for the future of the species.

By the way I agree Cashier. I actually thought.....who is she trying to insult....because that line continues....

I am a wiccen Satanist pagen and when preps are men to me I curse them by sacrifiscing my arm by slitting my rists. If you make fun of me for slitting my rists than you are out of orders its just because I am gotic and depressant and you are a prep!!1

I am bisexual but I don’t really like kissing with gurls but I do like watching guys make out with eachother in front of me because its soo hott. i hate emos because they are just jealus of us hardcore gotic kids and they all pretend to be bi!!1

Seriously you've already offended the reading and writing population of the World. (Friends of mine who have english as a second language can construct one sentence better than this entire piece), why decide that you are going to insult minority groups with your drivel.

Though as saterical piece, it can work wonders. Somehow though I don't think that was the purpose...but if so....it does speak volumes.

[Evil Queen]

That's what you think.

No, honey, that's what I know. You are sooo being punished for this.

[digilight]

Wow, this was the brown note of the written word. Just reading it made me shit my pants.

Please excuse me...for now I must go and bang my head against the wall to get the stupid out of it...And I only read the first line.

Oh yeah, and if she thinks that HIM is a hardcore metal band than she really is fucking retarded. I happen to actually like some of their stuff, but I consider them very mellow and relaxing, If you want harder then you have to hit cradle of filth, or lamb of god at the very least.

[lupo pazzesco]

what has been seen...cannot be UNseen!!

EQ!! whyfor did you direct me to this thread!!

Irv, what did we EVER do to deserve that!?!?



HIM is an awesome band, but hardcore metal? And...big bobs in a blcka corsit... OC Mary Sue much?

<shudders>

Welp, I'm about to go see if I can rescue my brain. It flushed itself down the toilet, in the hopes that the noxious, putrid sewers could offer a refuge from the rancid effluvia it just partook in. Just need to find my plunger.

Toodles...

[Dawnchaser]

I'm still in shock that people actually posted bad reviews on fanfiction.net...

I've seen some horrible Mary Sues that gave me nightmares that got outstanding reviews at that place.

[Chanlin]

I'm reminded of lolcat speak when I read this. Oh and I'm chalking this up to the category of satire because of lines like this one.

teh necksd (geddit coz im gotik and i like necks!)

Also the mention, this is the best I've ever written, and Mel helped with spelling. A basic spell checker would catch many many many of the errors made so a leap of logic here says the spelling is deliberate.

At least i hope to gods I'm correct on this.

Also the other story by the same author has similar spellings and a similar satirical theme.

::EDIT:: After reading some of the reviews I may retract this statement seeing as some people seem to recognize the author who has a habit of doing this. However, this does not mean the person is not writing satire as the author has not commented one way or the other.

[Animae]

Sweet gods let this be a joke.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Mel, whoever you are, you have a lot to answer for.

IT WAS NOT ME I SWEAR!

Oh, gods, there are eleven glorious pages of people yelling at her. It's more entertaining than the story (Which I couldn't get past the first paragraph, I really tried).

[SG15Z]

Oh God!!!!!! My EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Must....resist.......urge....to...kill...Irv! Gah! Irv you will surely pay for this one day!!

[RetailWorkhorse]

Four people that love it....wait, 5. SIX. No, wait, that last one had to be sarcastic. Okay, just five. Nope. Six. *Rubs temples* Seven.

At least two that I think are being very sarcastic when it comes to "you are my hero" comments.

God was definitely being sarcastic.

Someone's being a total tool.

Someone ELSE being either way too sarcastic or they really do like this story. O.o

At least three (I lost count) who think the whole mess of.....disorganized letters....is something to mock the whole Gothic sub-culture.

Okay. Eleven pages of reviews.

I think I'm going to need therapy.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'm still in shock that people actually posted bad reviews on fanfiction.net...

I've seen some horrible Mary Sues that gave me nightmares that got outstanding reviews at that place.

Same here. I have also seen on a sporking site friends of a Suethor come and bash a sporker for daring to make fun of such an atrocity. Honestly, the story wasn't even well written, and the ending didn't make sense. O_o Suethor X eventually showed up after her friends had been roundly pwned and was quite reasonable. XD

Quizilla is the place for really terrible Mary Sues tho. Honestly, I have seen Sues on there which would give you nightmares on top of nightmares.

[McGoddess09]

Oh god. Oh god. OH GOD!

No, that was not a good sequence of oh god.

I hate you Irv.
Just kidding. I could never hate you

At the age of 8, I wrote better than this. Not kidding. I found some papers from then a while back.

[Buglady]

Is there such a thing as Poe's Law for fanfic? I honestly can't tell if that's a parody or not....

[FreakyGeek]

*wimper*
I will never write something that bad, I will never write something that bad, I swear to god on my own grave I will never write something that bad.
Those sort of people scare me.


I do admit, her whole bisexuality thing cheesed me off pretty bad, we get a bad enough reputation as is.

[snackbandit]

I'm almost positive this is a joke. The spelling is so off it is hilarious, and all the !!11!!1111! seems to me like the author is making fun of pre-teen mary sues.
HOWEVER:
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD MY EYES ARE BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEDINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG