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More of a facepalm customer than a sucky one

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  • More of a facepalm customer than a sucky one

    Customer comes in and is interested in the tea-based drinks we sell. She asks what kinds of teas we have. I name off half a dozen.

    Customer: "Do you have any coconut?"

    Me: "No, I'm sorry, we don't have any teas that even have coconut in them."

    Customer: "None?!"

    Lady, coconut is not a particularly common ingredient in teas. I have a boatload of teas in my cupboards, from my days at The Now Defunct Teashop, and maybe one or two have coconut in them. But I'm pretty sure we don't have coconut ANYTHING at The Mothership ... coffee, tea, blended drinks, you name it.

    At this point, Senior Coworker steps in, and tries to offer some suggestions for alternate flavours and drinks. She runs through a short list and says we can try to make this or that or the next one ...

    Customer: "I like coconut."

    Now, Customer wasn't being sucky or snotty or whiny, but ... she'd just had two employees tell her we don't have coconut.

    I was horribly close to telling her to take her coconut fetish somewhere else, which would certainly have been disastrous, as I'm already perilously close to ending my service with The Mothership.

    Senior Coworker said we could make her something and if she didn't care for it, we could try something else. This is standard practice at The Mothership, but I was thinking that I could just see this person running through six or eight or 10 drinks, claiming that she didn't like the current one and we had to make her another one because we'd said we would.

    In any case, I misjudged her ... she settled on one particular drink (I don't remember what) and disappeared, never to return.

    Even though it wasn't coconut.
    Last edited by Pixelated; 03-22-2018, 04:02 AM.
    Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
    ~ Mr Hero

  • #2
    How may swallows does it take to bring her her coconut tea?
    AkaiKitsune
    Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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    • #3
      Quoth Rosco the Iroc View Post
      How may swallows does it take to bring her her coconut tea?
      What kind of swallows are you referring to? African or European?
      This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

      I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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      • #4
        Quoth catcul View Post
        What kind of swallows are you referring to? African or European?
        They could carry it on a line, held under their dorsal guiding feathers.
        Life's too short to drink cheap beer

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        • #5
          Quoth catcul View Post
          What kind of swallows are you referring to? African or European?
          What? I don't know that–AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!
          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
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          • #6
            I was thinking that she might get a belly ache.
            Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
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            • #7
              At least it's not this coconut.
              I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

              Who is John Galt?
              -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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              • #8
                I like coconut. I don’t think coconut tea sounds good at all. But I believe all your coconut is in the magic back room, where customers believe everything resides.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Shyla View Post
                  I like coconut. I don’t think coconut tea sounds good at all. But I believe all your coconut is in the magic back room, where customers believe everything resides.
                  I think if you mean 'tea' to mean any of the numerous herbal infusions that people call tea and then add coconut milk\cream into the mix it wouldn't be bad.
                  Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Naaman View Post
                    I think if you mean 'tea' to mean any of the numerous herbal infusions that people call tea and then add coconut milk\cream into the mix it wouldn't be bad.
                    Exactly. Back in the day of The Now-Defunct Tea Shop I often had occasion to explain to people that North Americans (myself included) tend to refer to anything steeped in hot water as "tea" even though "tea" is actually a specific plant, and "infusion" is the proper term for herbal mixes.
                    Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                    ~ Mr Hero

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Pixelated View Post
                      Exactly. Back in the day of The Now-Defunct Tea Shop I often had occasion to explain to people that North Americans (myself included) tend to refer to anything steeped in hot water as "tea" even though "tea" is actually a specific plant, and "infusion" is the proper term for herbal mixes.
                      Not just North Americans, calling any random mix of twigs and leaves tea is prevalent in the UK as well
                      Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

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                      • #12
                        But, is it a lovely bunch of coconuts?

                        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Naaman View Post
                          Not just North Americans, calling any random mix of twigs and leaves tea is prevalent in the UK as well
                          Heck, y'all even use that term for an in-between meal fer cryinoutloud!!!
                          “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                          One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                          The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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                          • #14
                            At this point the word Tea has undergone the same process as "Band aid" it pretty much means what "Infusion" does/did. At least in certain, very vocal, parts of the world.

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                            • #15
                              A more "traditional" word would be "tisane", which basically means what "infusion" does, but without including oil- or alcohol-based infusions.

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