Movie Theater Morons

[Boxofficehellhole]

I work at a "2nd run" movie theater which means that we show movies that have already played at bigger movie theaters, at discount prices. Our theater has been around for 30 or so years and used to be the "dollar theater" where tickets were only a buck a piece. That was 10+ years ago. I deal with all sorts of BS every day... much more than what is worth the crap pay I get.

Anyway, I wrote up a paper explaining proper etiquette and FAQ list when at the movie theater. Everything in this has actually happened before and we hear the stuff twenty times a day. I'm interested in seeing if other movie theater workers get the same stupidity that I do... or if it's just me.

Anyway, here ya go!

Box Office Etiquette for Customers Who Just Don’t Seem to Grasp the Concept

1. When arriving to the movie theater, arrive early enough to buy tickets and concessions. It is a known fact that if you wait until the last moment to purchase your ticket and/or concessions, there will be a line that you have to wait in. At that point, all complaints about waiting in line or the movie being sold out by the time you get there are null and void. Your lack of responsibility and planning is usually the cause of this, so you have no one to blame but yourself.

2. If you actually take a moment to look for these things, all information for any given movie is available to you. There is a clock right in front of you in the box office, as well as all movie listings, show times, as well as a synopsis. Do NOT ask Box Office personnel what movies are playing, what a particular movie is about, what time it starts, or what time it currently is. This annoys us. If you are too lazy to read the giant 30 foot tall marquee listing the movies, or the big LED marquee in the box office, it bothers us tremendously and we would like to smack you for wasting our time.

3. Ticket prices are posted. Do NOT act surprised when you receive your total. Our theater hasn’t been the “Dollar Theater” for over 10 years now.

4. If you have children, or are a senior, do not wait until we ring up your tickets to tell us. If you ask for “2 tickets to Night at the Museum” we will naturally assume it is for 2 adults unless it is obvious.

5. It is NOT necessary to hand out money to all 10 of your children to buy their own ticket. To put it in perspective, we handle an average of 300 to 500 people in line for the 7:00PM show schedule on the weekend. We usually have 2 Box Office Personnel, and roughly 45 minutes to get all of these people their tickets and concessions so they can get to their movie on time. We hate this practice, because it takes too long. This drags out what would be a 10-15 second transaction for one person buying all tickets to a 3 or 4 minute transaction and backs up the line. We do NOT have time to be an object lesson for your children and neither does anybody else.

6. Tell us what movie you want to see, as we are not psychic and CANNOT read your mind.

7. If you’re not the one buying tickets, then keep your mouth shut. Do not order your tickets and then say, “Well my wife/husband is coming with the money.” This includes children.

8. The Tensa barriers, DO NOT REMOVE OR WALK UNDER THEM! This is RUDE and we would love to make you walk out of the line, and back through the right way. If you want to act like children, we will treat you like children.

9. If you bring a group of over 10 people, at least have the decency to call ahead so we can be prepared.

10. Have your money ready and know what you are going to see when you arrive at the box office. This allows us to work faster. If possible, please avoid paying with coins, and bills larger than a twenty. We only have a limited supply of change, and consider it extremely rude to buy 4 tickets with a bag of unsorted nickels and dimes. Unfortunately federal law forbids any company to refuse any legal United States currency; otherwise we would refuse to sell you a ticket. If you buy one $3.00 ticket with a $100 bill, this is totally unnecessary as we are not a bank.

11. If you are obviously with a group of people, it is not necessary to keep repeating the movie title over and over.

12. You will not receive a refund if you find a movie offensive for any reason. It is your responsibility to research the movie before you view it. This includes taking young children to see a horror movie or one that contains a lot of profanity or nudity. If a movie is clearly rated R and you take your kids, then perhaps you are a bad parent. (a guy took his 5 year old kid to see "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and complained it was too violent)

13. Do not blankly stare at the box office personnel. If you constantly do this, we will stare back or start doing funny tricks. We do expect a peanut or some other kind of edible reward since we apparently are entertaining to watch.

14. Do NOT argue with us about movie times posted in the paper or various third-party websites. The various papers/websites listing our movies have commonly misprinted our show times. The listings that we give them correspond exactly as the show clock we have in our ticket sales system. If a third-party publication misprints our show times, it is NOT our fault and is beyond our control. Always call the movie line or visit our website for correct times. Again, this is your responsibility and not our problem for your lack therefore of.
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Stupid Frequently Asked Questions


What movies do you have playing?
Look at the giant 30 foot tall marquee on the front of our building, the LED marquee in the box office, call the movie line or visit our website.

What time does a particular movie start?
Look at the LED marquee in the box office, call the movie line or visit our website

What time is it?
Look at your watch, cell phone, the clock in the box office in front of you or on the wall opposite concession. (at our box office there is a clock directly in front of the customer... they look right at it and ask "what time is it?")

Did the movie start at the posted time?
Short Answer: Yes
Long Answer: There are about 5 minutes of previews and the previews actually start at the posted time.

What is a particular movie about and who are the actors?
Read the synopsis listed on the website, hanging on the window in the box office, or at the concession stand. (this bugs me because people are too lazy to research movies)

Why does the paper/websites list a different time?
The various papers/websites listing our times have commonly misprinted our show times. The listings that we give them correspond exactly as the show clock we have in our ticket sales system. If third-party publication misprints our show times, it is NOT our fault, so do not argue with us. Call the movie line or visit our website for correct times.

What are your ticket prices?
Matinee $3.00 (all shows that begin before 6:00PM)
Adults $4.00 (after 6:00PM)
Children aged 2 to 11 $3.00 (after 6:00PM)
Seniors aged 65+ $3.00 (after 6:00PM)

But I thought you were the “Dollar” theater!
Our theater hasn’t been the “Dollar” theater for over 10 years. Ticket prices have increased over the years due to studio demand, inflation, and poor business decisions by our corporate office.

What are your operating hours?
We open the doors and begin selling tickets at 12:15PM daily. We stop selling tickets fifteen minutes after the last movie starts, usually around 10:15PM

Do you have the phone number to another movie theater?
No, and we consider it rude for you to ask.

Do you accept credit or debit cards?
Yes, we accept Visa and Mastercard. We do not take personal checks.

What is your refund policy?
We will refund your ticket only with the ticket stub and within the first 30 minutes of the movie. You will not receive a refund because you did not like the movie or you found it offensive. It is your responsibility to research the movie. Exceptions will be made due to equipment failure.

Is your facility handicap accessible?
Yes, it's the law.

[GolfCart34]

I occasionally worked the theater shift at my previous job. For the most part, the theater showed either plays put on by the company I worked for or art house type movies. We had two screens, one was a screening room with 35 seats and the other was a regular size theater room. I used to love (obviously using that term very loosely) getting the people who were like, "We'd like 2 for the movie please." Then they'd get confused when I asked them which movie they wanted to go see. The people who really bugged me were the people who wouldn't ask for the senior price until after I rung them up and paid. The senior price started at 55 at that particular theater and I was not about to just start guessing the age of people.

[aurelemsrealm]

I don't work in a theater, but I do enjoy going when there is a movie I want to see. You'd think most of those issues would be a matter of common sense. It seems reasonable to me, anyway. Some people just need the dots connected for them before they get a clue, though.

Then again, I don't go unless I have some idea of what I want to see because I don't want to embarrass myself by appearing ignorant.

By the way, I can't imagine a movie with the words "Chainsaw Massacre" in the title being that violent. Surely you jest!!!!

[Boxofficehellhole]

I don't work in a theater, but I do enjoy going when there is a movie I want to see. You'd think most of those issues would be a matter of common sense. It seems reasonable to me, anyway. Some people just need the dots connected for them before they get a clue, though.

Then again, I don't go unless I have some idea of what I want to see because I don't want to embarrass myself by appearing ignorant.

By the way, I can't imagine a movie with the words "Chainsaw Massacre" in the title being that violent. Surely you jest!!!!

Yeah... people are that dense... and I swear to god the chainsaw massacre thing really happened...

I myself have NEVER gone to a movie theater without somewhat knowing what a movie was about, or what time it started. I mean we get 100 people in line and some dumbass comes up and says "What's this movie about" blocking the line. I won't tell 'em... I just say "I haven't seen it yet, there's a synopsis over there." Or just tell them that it's a really good movie even if I haven't seen it yet... anything to get 'em out of my line cause I don't have time for stupidity LOL.

[Nutjob R/T]

Was it the original, or the remake version, too? Now I'm just curious.

[Boxofficehellhole]

It was actually the sequel to the remake, the one with R. Lee Ermey and Jordana Brewster. It was "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning" I think that's the name of it.

[ds_36]

4. If you have children, or are a senior, do not wait until we ring up your tickets to tell us. If you ask for “2 tickets to Night at the Museum” we will naturally assume it is for 2 adults unless it is obvious.

I used to love this when I worked admissions at a museum. I'm young, and I look younger so there's no way in hell I'm going to try to guess if someone is senior age or not (well unless they really do look old). But frequently they'd just ask for one, and then get upset when I'd tell them the adult price and not the senior price. At least they usually told me before they paid.

College students got the same discount, they on the other hand usually would realize the discount after the transaction was complete and they finally decided to read the admission price sign. Of course if they looked college age I would always ask them "one adult?" and make sure they hear me say the adult price. And since most of them paid with credit card it became such a hassle to give them their $2.50 back. (I would always make sure to see valid student ID in these cases...if they didn't have it, sorry no discount).

Yeah I tried asking if the person was a student a few times, but usually they'd wind up getting offended and wanting to know why it was important. It also usually resulted in them saying yes (regardless of the truth), since I obviously though they may have been.

[Pagan]

What is a particular movie about and who are the actors?
Read the synopsis listed on the website, hanging on the window in the box office, or at the concession stand. (this bugs me because people are too lazy to research movies)

You know, I've never understood why people do this! You've had to at least seen a commercial for it. What, do people just say to themselves, "Hey, I have no idea what the hell the movies at the theatre are about, but what the hell, let's go and pick one at random!"

Yeah I tried asking if the person was a student a few times, but usually they'd wind up getting offended and wanting to know why it was important. It also usually resulted in them saying yes (regardless of the truth), since I obviously though they may have been.

See, I don't get why that would be an offensive question. (Not that I'm doubting you, people get offended at the damnedest things.) Shoot, I keep forgetting that I am a student again after 13 years. I need the reminder and would thank you for it!

[Andara Bledin]

Unfortunately federal law forbids any company to refuse any legal United States currency; otherwise we would refuse to sell you a ticket. If you buy one $3.00 ticket with a $100 bill, this is totally unnecessary as we are not a bank.

Nope, that's a common misconception. Federal law only requires that the goverment accept legal tender.

Any private entity or business can accept (and deny) any form of payment they feel like. If you wanted to charge banana Jelly Bellies instead of money, that's perfectly legal, so long as you don't give the impression that you accept something else.

So, you don't have to accept $10 in pennies. You don't have to accept bills over $20. You don't have to accept money that looks like it is stuck together with used chewing gum.

^-.-^

[edible_hat]

13. ]We do expect a peanut or some other kind of edible reward

*hides*

Also related - I've gone to movies that I had no idea what they were about, but in most cases somebody in the group I was with did know. A couple of times it was part of a double bill where I wanted to see one movie, and I thought "why not see both?".

[Gurndigarn]

Nope, that's a common misconception. Federal law only requires that the goverment accept legal tender.

Or, as I understand, if you are trying to pay off a past debt, as opposed to making a purchase. But, IIRC, you're only required to take dimes or higher.

[hecubus]

From what I remember reading once, pennies are considered "legal tender" only up to a certain amount, something like $5.00 or so. This means that if you tried to pay a $1200 bill with a dumptruck full of pennies, the creditor would, by law, not have to accept them.

[Sparkticus]

I'm sure there are restrictions over here, like no-one has to take pennies/ 2p's worth over 20 pence or so, and I think it's something like 5 pounds worth of silver (10p, 20p and so on)

Not sure about pound coins though, although I HAVE had someone give me around £50 worth of those...

That was a fun transaction

[cinema guy]

2. If you actually take a moment to look for these things, all information for any given movie is available to you.

This is annoying and holds up the queue. But it is considered part of our jobs, the cinema provides information to us about the movies so we can help the customers out. Plenty of people show up at the cinema on spec, and don't turn up with a specific movie in mind.

5. It is NOT necessary to hand out money to all 10 of your children to buy their own ticket.

Now I've never seen parents do that with large groups of children, but it usually happens with large groups of teenagers/young adults who don't have change and all of whom want to pay individually. It is frustratingly slow, depletes my change, and you have to be careful that they all pay. But it is often the easiest way to handle them - if you do them one at a time, you have to dothe same transaction multiple times, and remember where you have seated them, since we have allocated seating.

Of course you get to the end and someone tells you that they should be get a stunde rate. Or wants to pay by card, even though you've asked if anyone is paying by card bvefore you print off the tickets.

It always amuses me when girlfriend & boyfriend want to pay seperately.

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Of course the question we always get, "Is X film any good?" or "Have you seen it yet?"

We really shouldn't answer, "No, I have no desire to see Eddie Murphy as a grossly fat woman." Or "No, I don't want to see a gross-out comedy that will insult my intellegence."

Are the customers really basing their film choice on the opinion of a stranger, or do they just want us to validate their choice of movie by saying, "Saw XXVII - it has more amputated body parts than all the others combined, its GREAT!"

[Broomjockey]

I've had my share of the movie stupidity, including my own version of Chainsaw Massacre guy. Lady took her kids (both under 8, one may have been 3) to see Freddy Vs. Jason. And came out 20 minutes in, not knowing that it was going to be so violent. Okay, lady, I told you it was rated 18A. I told you it was violent. On the poster it has a hockey-mask wearing, machette-holding guy facing a burn victim with claws for fingers. It's obviously a story about true love, right? Besides, who doesn't know Freddy Creuger and Jason Vorhees? Even if spelling their names is a PITA.

I've had the parents where they want the kids to pay, I've had them where they want each kid to hold their ticket and get the doorperson to rip it individually, etc. And that's the annoying one, as we usually have one doorperson, but had as many as 5 cashiers, so if some family of 10 came up, and instead of letting you rip them all at once, they hand them out individually to the kids, all of a sudden, you've got a line of 30 people trying to get in the door. And it's stuff like that which made me prefer working projection to working the floor.