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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • I am not allowed to mock the fact that there is a urologist at work with the surname Wang.

    Nor can I mock the fact that there is a colorectal surgeon whose name is one letter off from "Anal" (mostly because he's actually really nice )

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    • Quoth LadyofArc View Post
      I am not allowed to mock the fact that there is a urologist at work with the surname Wang.
      Wang was the name of a defunct computer company. I've worked on Dells, Gateways, Lenovos, and even an Asus, but I've never been asked to examine another man's Wang.
      This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

      I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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      • When talking about Wang Laboratories, I'm not allowed to say, "Wang was not very big. They found the computer industry very hard and had to pull out early."
        This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

        I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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        • I am not allowed to loudly ponder why the colorectal and GI surgeons at work are the nicest guys I've met so far, while the urologists are a bunch of dicks. (pun intended )

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          • Quoth LadyofArc View Post
            I am not allowed to mock the fact that there is a urologist at work with the surname Wang.
            What about Dr Richard Tapper?
            Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

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            • Quoth drunkenwildmage View Post
              What about Dr Richard Tapper?
              I will seriously piss myself laughing if someone like that ever shows up at work. Also worth noting that we have an anaethetist with the surname Huffer.

              And another doozy from yesterday:

              - No offering to act as the manager's wingman when he admits the guest speaker at work is cute.

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              • I did a return for a young man named Mata--Spanish for murder. Don't mess with him. I also did one for a Nancy Wilson, daughter of Heart fans, no doubt.
                I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                Who is John Galt?
                -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                • I am not allowed to wear socks that say “customer service:” on the bottom of one and “killing you slowly.” On the bottom of the other.

                  Was changing out for my work shoes in the breakroom.

                  I am not allowed to come down the staff room stairs in plainclothes that have any quotes by Niccolò Machiavelli on them.

                  Particularly:

                  “People should either be caressed or crushed. If you do them minor damage they will get their revenge; but if you cripple them there is nothing they can do. If you need to injure someone, do it in such a way that you do not have to fear their vengeance.”

                  I am not allowed to quote Capone.

                  “I'm a kind person, I'm kind to everyone, but if you are unkind to me, then kindness is not what you'll remember me for.” (when I went politely pissed on a customer trying to pass off fake bills as real. And her stealing as “ bought it at another store” while being unable to explain why our cameras caught her in the act of taking the items off the shelf. She got bitchy at me for informing her that the cops had finally arrived. She also threw a jug of milk at me. And called me a bitch for calling the cops. The quote ppped into my head and it was so perfect I couldn’t resist... I only realized after exactly who I had been quoting. Gave the cops a laugh.)
                  Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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                  • Where do you get your shirts?

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                    • Quoth Mental_Mouse View Post
                      Where do you get your shirts?
                      There’s a local guy here who will print anything on a shirt that you want or you can take any of the pre-printed shirts. They aren’t just full of bad Humor and cheap quotes either like a lot of stores.

                      I’ve got another one that says “every time history repeats itself the price goes up”.

                      I know there has to be a certain amount of shirts to be ordered before he will print custom orders but it doesn’t all have to be the same design. So he usually waits until he has enough single unique designs to have met the quota and then does it all in one batch.
                      Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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                      • Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
                        There’s a local guy here who will print anything on a shirt that you want or you can take any of the pre-printed shirts. They aren’t just full of bad Humor and cheap quotes either like a lot of stores.

                        I’ve got another one that says “every time history repeats itself the price goes up”.

                        I know there has to be a certain amount of shirts to be ordered before he will print custom orders but it doesn’t all have to be the same design. So he usually waits until he has enough single unique designs to have met the quota and then does it all in one batch.
                        Zazzle and possibly CafePress both also have the options for making your own shirts as well. I did it many years ago with one of the quotes from IPF's signature (I no longer have said shirt due to growing out of it).

                        And another one from work:

                        - I am not allowed to loudly ponder why the surgeons who deal with assholes (literally) are the nicest people you'll ever meet, while the ones who put you to sleep are the ones who are the worst to deal with.

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                        • The one I want would say "Reification: It's a thing." (Reification is the action or process of making something into 'a thing'. )

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                          • When a temp comes in on their second I'm not allowed to say "oh wow, you came back!"
                            Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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                            • Can we get enough separate orders together to make up a big order for all of us?
                              The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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                              • I am not allowed to use the phrase "Talk data to me," at work.

                                I am also not allowed to spend the entire weekend at an event offering to marry off the four teenaged children in our club, even if it's historically accurate (for the record, this was marrying off one of the girls to a boy around the same age and all four children had their parents around who were thankfully cool with it)

                                No shipping two of the children either, even if they start doing it themselves!

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