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  • Back with a vengeance

    After a couple of weeks on hiatus, I'm back with more tales of from the sad and pathetic world of wireless phones. Let's get right to it then:

    SM: Sucky Man
    SW: Sucky Woman
    ME: It's good to be back

    Some things don't change

    ME: I can get that phone for you today for $79.99.
    SW: So it will be free?

    Uh, sure, why not. It's free, and there's a $79.99 I-hate-you surcharge.

    Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?

    SW: I'm lost.
    ME: I'm sorry?
    SW: I'm lost, I'm trying to get to (some intersection in LA).
    ME: Oh. Well, I wish I could be of service, but I don't have a way to provide directions.
    SW: I don't need directions. Just tell me how to get to (destination). I'm at (random grease spot on the highway).
    ME: I do apologize, but I just don't have a way to provide directions.
    SW: Then who should I call?
    ME: I... don't know.
    SW: Well thanks for nothing!

    Sure thing. Next time you need anything at all that your phone service can't possibly assist you with, feel free to call me again.

    Amazing powers of deduction

    SM: They said they'd call me back if there was a problem, and they wouldn't if everything went through okay.
    ME: Uh-huh...
    SM: So far, no one has called me back.

    Okay, I didn't even know what your question was before you asked it, I have no idea who you spoke to or what the issue was, but it took me about a second to figure out the answer. You, however, have been sitting on this for a week. But it's not without reward. You've gained a level. You are now a level 50 Asslord.

    Even more amazing, and not in a good way

    ME: I see you had 382 minutes over last month.
    SM: Yeah, and it was your fault.
    ME: How so?
    SM: Because I tried to check my minutes and it didn't come up on my phone, so I figured you would just take care of it if I went over.
    ME: Uh-huh. And did you call to report that you weren't able to check my minutes?
    SM: No, I don't feel that should be my responsibility.

    You're right, it shouldn't be. Why should you call in and let us know if something isn't working? After all, all of us here at Customer Care have undergone secret government experimentation and are all psychics. Oh, by the way, watch out for... ah, you'll find out.

    Swing and a miss

    ME: Could I have the name the way it's printed on the card?
    SM: The address is...

    I don't know for sure, but I think you just achieved Failure Nirvana.

    Just call me The Entertainer

    SW (French lady): Thank you for the.... how do you say.... entertainment.

    Entertainment? Like amusing? Like funny? You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f***ed up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to f***in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

    Good for you

    SM: I know how to read and write! I know what a contract is!

    Literacy disputes aside, what in the scorching plains of Hell do you want from me?

    Irony

    ME: How can I help you today?
    SM: Yeah, I've been having a problem with dropped calls.
    ME: Well I'm sorry to hear that. How long has this been happening for you?
    SM: It's been about- *drop*

    Okay, that's comedy. I would normally have called the guy back, but we were getting calls back-to-back and the next call came right in.

    It gets better

    ME: Hi, this is Kara, how can I help you today?
    SM: Uh... I think I might have talked to you the other day. I'm having some problems with dropped calls.
    ME: That's very unfortunate. Actually, I see here that it was me you spoke to yesterday. I do apologize, we were so busy at the time, the calls were coming back-to-back and I couldn't call you back.
    SM: That's okay.
    ME: Well, let's go ahead and get this taken care of.
    SM: I- *drop*

    And once again, my next call came right in. I just bet he called back screaming about the girl that keeps messing with him.
    Last edited by Kara; 07-30-2007, 09:24 PM.
    "You are loved" - Plaidman.

  • #2
    Quoth Kara_CS View Post
    Irony

    ME: How can I help you today?
    SM: Yeah, I've been having a problem with dropped calls.
    ME: Well I'm sorry to hear that. How long has this been happening for you?
    SM: It's been about- *drop*

    Okay, that's comedy. I would normally have called the guy back, but we were getting calls back-to-back and the next call came right in.

    It gets better

    ME: Hi, this is Kara, how can I help you today?
    SM: Uh... I think I might have talked to you the other day. I'm having some problems with dropped calls.
    ME: That's very unfortunate. Actually, I see here that it was me you spoke to yesterday. I do apologize, we were so busy at the time, the calls were coming back-to-back and I couldn't call you back.
    SM: That's okay.
    ME: Well, let's go ahead and get this taken care of.
    SM: I- *drop*

    And once again, my next call came right in. I just bet he called back screaming about the girl that keeps messing with him.
    OMG, that's hilarious. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes and coworkers staring at me oddly.

    The worst part is I've had similar things happen to me too as a customer. I'll admit that even then I found the situation humorous and ended up laughing as I explained the problem again when I called from a different phone.
    "Dance when you're broken open.
    Dance if you've torn the bandage off.
    Dance in the middle of the fighting.
    Dance in your blood.
    Dance when you're perfectly free."
    -Rumi

    Comment


    • #3
      ME: How can I help you today?
      SM: Yeah, I've been having a problem with dropped calls.
      ME: Well I'm sorry to hear that. How long has this been happening for you?
      SM: It's been about- *drop*

      Okay, that's comedy. I would normally have called the guy back, but we were getting calls back-to-back and the next call came right in.
      Hahaha. That's not comedy, my dear twin, that's karma. ^^

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Kara_CS View Post
        Just call me The Entertainer

        SW (French lady): Thank you for the.... how do you say.... entertainment.

        Entertainment? Like amusing? Like funny? You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f***ed up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to f***in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
        This just made me think of the Goodfeathers from Animaniacs.

        That whole post was hilariously written; kudos.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
          Hahaha. That's not comedy, my dear twin, that's karma. ^^
          Yeah but he didn't seem to be beligerant or stupid, just a guy with a problem. Then again I can't tell from type.
          How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Soulstealer View Post
            Yeah but he didn't seem to be beligerant or stupid, just a guy with a problem. Then again I can't tell from type.
            He was actually pretty decent on both calls. But I'm sure he earned it from somewhere in the past...
            "You are loved" - Plaidman.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Soulstealer View Post
              Yeah but he didn't seem to be beligerant or stupid, just a guy with a problem. Then again I can't tell from type.
              After this many years on the lines I just assume everyone who calls me is a raging goat molester until they prove themselves otherwise. I'm not legally required to assume innocence until proven guilty. ^^

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                ME: I can get that phone for you today for $79.99.
                SW: So it will be free?

                Uh, sure, why not. It's free, and there's a $79.99 I-hate-you surcharge.
                Is tax included on that surcharge?
                Unseen but seeing
                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                3rd shift needs love, too
                RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                Comment


                • #9
                  LMAO at the dropped call guy.

                  Hopefully he'll try to call from ANOTHER phone the next time he calls.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth JustAGirl View Post
                    LMAO at the dropped call guy.

                    Hopefully he'll try to call from ANOTHER phone the next time he calls.
                    I was thinking the same thing, I love how people call from the phones they're having ISSUES with.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth sld72382 View Post
                      I was thinking the same thing, I love how people call from the phones they're having ISSUES with.
                      Especially when our automated lady that talks to you when you call in says "Oh, by the way. To effectively troubleshoot your issue, it would be best if you could call us from a number other than the one you're having problems with."

                      My favorite is when they call in and tell me they get no service at all, can't ever use the phone, and are talking to me on that phone.
                      "You are loved" - Plaidman.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                        Oh, by the way, watch out for... ah, you'll find out.

                        Did any one else think of Doctor Who and the disinfectant or am I the only one that weird?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                          He was actually pretty decent on both calls. But I'm sure he earned it from somewhere in the past...
                          That's immediate karma in action for being foolish enough to try to call from the phone that's having the problem.

                          Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                          My favorite is when they call in and tell me they get no service at all, can't ever use the phone, and are talking to me on that phone.
                          Yeah. Just because you work for the company that owns the equipment doesn't mean you have any access to the call information or anything....

                          ps- Glad to have you back.

                          ^-.-^
                          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            i think he earn the karma for calling in that phone.... twice

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                              Irony

                              ME: How can I help you today?
                              SM: Yeah, I've been having a problem with dropped calls.
                              ME: Well I'm sorry to hear that. How long has this been happening for you?
                              SM: It's been about- *drop*

                              Okay, that's comedy. I would normally have called the guy back, but we were getting calls back-to-back and the next call came right in.

                              It gets better

                              ME: Hi, this is Kara, how can I help you today?
                              SM: Uh... I think I might have talked to you the other day. I'm having some problems with dropped calls.
                              ME: That's very unfortunate. Actually, I see here that it was me you spoke to yesterday. I do apologize, we were so busy at the time, the calls were coming back-to-back and I couldn't call you back.
                              SM: That's okay.
                              ME: Well, let's go ahead and get this taken care of.
                              SM: I- *drop*

                              And once again, my next call came right in. I just bet he called back screaming about the girl that keeps messing with him.
                              We had a problem similar with our landline. For a month (and 4 technician visits) we would randomly lose calls or get no dial tone. The last rep I spoke to before we finally figured it out swore she had never seen a trouble ticket that long.

                              Turns out the genius who wired the house back when he owned it (he put 16-20 circuits on 14 breakers, presumably so he wouldn't have to buy a bigger box ) ran the upstairs phone line behind the steam pipe for the radiator.

                              So several years of hot pipe + intermittent contact with phone line = melted coating and shorted line. Only when the cats brushed it though. Oy.
                              Any day you're looking down at the dirt instead of up at the dirt is a good day.

                              Comment

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