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Congrats, you broke Seraph.

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  • Congrats, you broke Seraph.

    I'm completely at a loss here. I have no idea what to even SAY to this guy.

    Background: Dude ordered a premade template, which are installed within 24-48 hours after an order is processed.


    SC: Hi, I placed an order a long time ago and my template is still not installed. What is going on, do I need to file a refund?

    Seraph: Hi, let me get the order details from you real quick so I can look this up.... <gets details, looks up order and sees its less than half a day old. Long time ago my butt.>

    Seraph: Um, I see that you placed this order yesterday afternoon, and I contacted you afterwards with a few issues with your order. First off, I need the login to your admin panel so I can install it....but most of all, your domain isn't pointing to your website. That needs to be fixed before anything can occur.

    SC: How do I point the website to the domain?

    Seraph: No, no, it's backwards, you need to point the domain to the website. I see that you're running <Script>, so you'll need to point it to the specific nameservers they gave you.

    SC: Well, how do I do that?

    Seraph: You will need to log in to your account that your domain is at, and change it from your dashboard.

    SC: Well you need to tell me how

    Seraph: ...I don't know which registrar you're using, so just use that

    SC: I didn't use a registrar, I didn't buy a domain

    Seraph: .....you didn't buy the domain you're intending to use for your website?

    SC: I bought <Script>, it comes with a free domain. Tell me how to point it to my script.

    Seraph: No, that script does not include a free domain, in fact it says that in big red letters on their website. Did you not buy the domain?

    SC: Never mind, I was confused, yes I own the domain.

    Seraph: Oh, ok, well then just log in to your registrar's website and point it...

    SC: I don't have a registrar.

    Seraph: That's simply not possible. One minute, please. <looks up WHOIS data. The owner of the domain is in Canada, and has a completely different name than SC>

    Seraph: /links to WHOIS/ Is this you?

    SC: No, of course not, who is that?

    Seraph: The owner of the domain you're trying to use. He's owned it since 1998.

    SC: Well I want it now, and I named my website that name, so it is now mine. I own it.

    Seraph: Domains don't work that way, you can't just declare suddenly that a name is yours, ESPECIALLY if it's someone else's.

    SC: Well I want it

    Seraph: Ok, then if you simply can't go with any other name, your only options are to buy it from him, or wait and see if he lets it expire. He's bought up the .net, .org, and .info unfortunately, so you can't get any variations. And since he's held this since 1998....chances are he won't let it expire.

    SC: I can't afford to buy it. He needs to give it to me now, I need it for my website

    Seraph: And so does he, like I said, you'll either have to get a new name, or buy it off him. =/

    SC: But I already stated that this is my website's name! he needs to point his domain to my site, now!

    Seraph: ...I'm very sorry, but unfortunately I've tried explaining this to you several times, and I really don't have the time to keep going in circles here. I'll hold your order for another couple of days, please let me know if you either change the name, or buy it off him. Once you notify me, I'll process the order....if I don't hear back from you, I'll refund it.

    Seraph: Have a good day, and I hope you can resolve this quickly!

    SC: Ok, I'm going to email him and tell him he needs to point his domain to my site

    Seraph: ....good luck with that.



    Seriously.

    What the heck.

    I have special clients. Look, look at my special clients.

    MY BRAIIIIIIIN.
    By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

    "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

  • #2
    "He needs to give it to me now" - That usage of "need" SO puts my teeth on edge...

    I'd like to register a vote of thanks to Seraph, I'm sure we all have less idiocy in our lives due to the amount you attract!

    Comment


    • #3
      That's just... wow. Seriously.

      How old is this client of yours? It sounds like he (or she) is 8, at most. If it were me I'd just send the refund and wash your hands of the entire thing.

      You know, to save your brain.

      I think we need Jay 2K to do a alcoholic reboot on Seraph, STAT.
      My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
      It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth TheCheerfulTreeRat View Post
        "He needs to give it to me now" - That usage of "need" SO puts my teeth on edge...

        I'd like to register a vote of thanks to Seraph, I'm sure we all have less idiocy in our lives due to the amount you attract!
        You're not the only one. It makes my eye twitch.

        ...uh...I'm more than willing to share my client base. Seriously. Merry belated Christmas? Anyone? Please?
        By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

        "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Seraph View Post
          SC: I can't afford to buy it. He needs to give it to me now, I need it for my website
          So that's how things work, huh?

          Well, Anna Paquin needs to call me for a date. I don't care that she's married, she needs to call me, NOW!

          What? It's no more an unreasonable demand than what the SC is demanding!

          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
          Still A Customer."

          Comment


          • #6
            "Seraph: Domains don't work that way, you can't just declare suddenly that a name is yours, ESPECIALLY if it's someone else's."

            What? You never heard of eminant domain? lol
            "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

            Comment


            • #7
              Shoulda had a flag, then he could have claimed that domain (eddie izzard skit reference ftw)

              Seraph, I'd offer to glue you back together, but I don't have the required fireproof gear to do so
              I am the nocturnal echo-locating flying mammal man.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Seraph View Post

                SC: Ok, I'm going to email him and tell him he needs to point his domain to my site
                Raise your hand if you wanna see the fireworks when SC contacts DomainOwnerInCanada!

                *Waves wildly*
                Now a member of that alien race called Management.

                Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Okay what? I don't even...

                  *BSOD*
                  https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    What in the name of logic and reason.. was that? AAarrg

                    *flees in panic*

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      He broke Seraph, so she breaks us. Sounds fair.

                      I think my response would have been something like "Ok, I need your car. Give it to me now. What do you mean No? I need it! I told everyone I was driving it!"

                      Idiot.
                      "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth AmbrosiaWriter View Post
                        That's just... wow. Seriously.

                        How old is this client of yours? It sounds like he (or she) is 8, at most. If it were me I'd just send the refund and wash your hands of the entire thing.
                        I wouldn't give this guy a refund. He bought a template. It's not Seraph's fault he doesn't have a domain to install it on. When he gets a domain, Seraph can install it. That simple.

                        Seraph you might want to add a disclaimer to your sales agreement: It is Buyer's Responsibility to provide domain information for installation. Failure to provide this information will result in purchase becoming non-refundable.

                        Quoth RetailWorkhorse View Post
                        Raise your hand if you wanna see the fireworks when SC contacts DomainOwnerInCanada!

                        *Waves wildly*
                        There won't be any fireworks. This guy won't get the real domain owner upset. If anything, he'll collapse in a ball of hysterical laughter before he hangs up on this idiot, and blocks him on the internet.

                        Unless this SC sends a cease and desist letter to the real owner, in which case SC is going to get a lesson in property law from the school of hard knocks.

                        Domain names are like real estate. Just because you want them doesn't mean you can have them. I'd like to live at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington DC, but I can't move in just because I want the place, and it's not going on the market in this or any lifetime.
                        They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I wish I was the domain owner here and I wish this SC emailed me telling me I have to give up my domain because he needs for his site.

                          Just so I could tear him to pieces over it (after I finish laughing hysterically).

                          I wonder if this client was the same moron who said awhile back anything on the Internet is public domain?
                          "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hey, we have people breaking into houses, changing the locks and then claiming the house is theirs; why should domains be any different? 9_9

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
                              I wouldn't give this guy a refund. He bought a template. It's not Seraph's fault he doesn't have a domain to install it on. When he gets a domain, Seraph can install it. That simple.

                              Seraph you might want to add a disclaimer to your sales agreement: It is Buyer's Responsibility to provide domain information for installation. Failure to provide this information will result in purchase becoming non-refundable.
                              While you are correct, I'd give the refund just so I wouldn't have to deal with the guy. It's obvious he's not playing with a full deck

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