Numerous tales of crapulance

[tilly101]

I'll upload just one more post for now, I don't want to bombard the boards! See, this is when happens when you work for months and months and let those pesky SCs build up

This was a first call for the day on morning shift - READ: I was still half asleep and in no mood for ass-clownery

Me - *opening spiel, welcome to Health Insurance Inc*
SC - 'Hi'
Me - 'Hello sir, how could I help you today?'
SC - 'Hi'
Me - 'Hi...how could I help you?'
SC - 'Hi'
Me - '...hello? Can you hear me? How can I help sir?'
SC - 'WELL YOU COULD START BY BEING POLITE, I'VE SAID HELLO 3 TIMES NOW! GET ME A SUPERVISOR!'
Me - 'I'm....sorry sir. Our supervisor won't be in for another hour and a half, you've called just as we've opened and she doesn't start quite yet...'
SC, back to being calm - 'Well. This is what's going to happen. You've offended me by ignoring my greeting. So when this supervisor of yours gets in, you will tell her that she will credit my policy a years worth as of premium as compensation. If my demand isn't met, I'll go to the media over this'
Me - '...okay. Well...I'm sorry sir, but I did respond to your greeting each and every time, I'm sorry if you failed to hear me. Each time. Further to that, our supervisors do not make call backs unless the issue is warranted, and this is not, therefore I'm afraid I can't pass your details through for escalation. Lastly, just to mention, the most we would ever credit a policy would be about a month, and that would be as a result of a severe error on our part, a years credit never has and never will happen. Sir.'
SC - 'Are you deaf? I said I'll go to the media, what do you think about that huh?!'
Me - 'That's fine sir, I'm unsure how they would proceed with a story regarding your inability to hear properly but thats entirely your right to pursue such a story, of course. Now, was there anything else I can help you with today?'
SC - 'IM GOING TO THE MEDIA!'

*click*

God bless those morning shifts when we are supervise-less...otherwise that last line may have garnered a raised-eyebrow in response.
I honestly don't know how calls like this one even occur. They are just not...normal...at all.

_________________________

A HUGE pet peeve of mine is when we get the parents of 'kids' calling in trying to talk/do things on their 'kids' behalves....these 'kids', mind you, are usually in their 30s+
Now, dont get me wrong....of course I have no probs whatsoever if there is an actual *need* for the person to be getting assistance. Completely A-ok, and I will bend over backwards to help. But it's the ones where the cord is still attached...where the 'kid' is clearly still hanging off the mothers titty 30 years later....that I just...ugh. It irks me. Here are some of the most recent examples I had before I went on leave....and yes, this kind of thing happened ALL the time

Me - *opening spiel, welcome to Health Insurance Inc*
SC - 'Yes, hi, you people declined my child's claim and I want to know why'
*I bring up the policy details*
Me - 'Hmmm, sorry ma'am, just bear with me one moment, I think I may have typed in a wrong digit...could I please confirm that policy number again?'
*nope...same account comes up*
Me - 'I'm sorry ma'am, I might need to ask you to check your cover details there, this policy is bringing up a 36 year old male?'
SC - 'Yes, that's my child'
Me - '...I'm sorry. There is no authority for you on this policy, I'm unable to discuss anything with you, we can only speak with the policy holder. Is your son available at the moment?'
*cue the usual rant*
SC - 'EXCUSE ME! He is my CHILD! I am his MOTHER! You WILL discuss this claim with me, and you WILL explain why you didnt pay a cent!'
Me - 'I'm sorry ma'am, as I was saying...'
*cuts me off*
SC - 'No, as *I* was saying, I am his MOTHER, I handle EVERYTHING for my child! He's not old enough to do any of this for himself! IM HIS MOTHER!'

Uh-huh. Excuse me for one moment please while I go throw up in the corner

Me - *opening spiel, welcome to Health Insurance Inc*
SC - 'Yeah hey mate, look Im calling in about my young son's poiicy, theres been a mitsake made and I just need to fix it'
Me - 'Ok sir, just bear with me for one moment and Ill take a look for you'
*I bring up the policy - his 'young son' is also over 30, and again there is no authority on the policy*
Me - 'Okay, I've got the details here, but Im afraid your son has not added an authority for you at any point sir, I apologise but we will only be able to speak with your son...'
*talks over me*
SC - 'GODDAMNIT THIS HAPPENS EVERY GODDAMN TIME, YOUSE ARE ALWAYS TELLING ME I NEED SOME GODDAMN AUTHORITY JUST TO SPEAK ABOUT MY OWN SON'S ACCOUNT THERE! I TELL YOUSE EVERY TIME THAT I AINT GOT TIME FOR THAT, NOW BRING UP HIS ACCOUNT AND GET THIS SORTED FOR ME!'
Me - 'I'm sorry sir, but as you've been told every time, without that authority we cannot and will not discuss someone else's policy with you'
SC - 'FUCK YOU! '

*click*

See, these ones cause me to roll my eyes so much they nearly fall out of my head. Seriously. You've been told the same thing over and over for months. STOP CALLING US ASSHOLE!

Me - *opening spiel, welcome to Health Insurance Inc*
SC - 'Hello, I got a letter in the mail saying that my daughter hasn't paid her policy there with your company but I know that she did so I'm just calling to get it sorted out'
Me - 'Ok ma'am, I'll just bring up her details'
*Aaaaaand once again - no authority for the mother*
Me - 'Thanks for holding ma'am. Now I've got the details here but I'm afraid there is no authority for you to discuss this policy, we would need to speak with your daughter in this instance, was she available at this time?'
SC - 'I'm *daughters name*. Now, what happened to my payment'
Me - '....er, no, I'm sorry, I know that you're her mother, and...'
*cuts me off, starts quoting the daughter's full name, date of birth and address*
SC - 'There, there's all the privacy stuff you people need, now I'm *daughter* so you need to help me*'
Me - 'Ma'am I apologise as I know this is frustrating for you but I am aware that you are not *daughter*, as such I cannot proceed with this call'
SC, now suddenly yelling - 'LISTEN HERE I can say Im whoever the fuck I want! I say I'm *daughter* and I gave her details, so you gotta talk to me! Stop wasting my fucking TIME!'
Me - 'Okay. I need to advise you that this line is recorded, and you've been recorded conducting an act of fraud. I have an obligation to pass this call and your details through to management, who will then forward your information to the appropriate authorities, who will pursue you accordingly. Now. Is there anything else I can help you with today ma'am?'
SC - *click*

Yeah. This kinda crap has been pulled on me sooo many times Ive lost count. I used to be nice about it. Not any more. I've lost all patience for this kinda rubbish.

__________________________

[AnaKhouri]

Hey tilly, can I get your permission to post your donation page on my Google + account? I have over 100 people in my circle, so it might boost the signal a little. I can put it on my blog too but I don't have nearly as many subscribers there.

[tilly101]

Hey tilly, can I get your permission to post your donation page on my Google + account? I have over 100 people in my circle, so it might boost the signal a little. I can put it on my blog too but I don't have nearly as many subscribers there.

Hello
Yes you absolutely have my permission, and a million heartfelt thank yous for doing so as well - it is so very much appreciated, thank you !!!!

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Great! Helicopter parents.

The bane of human existence.

One wonders what these over-protected children going to do when their parents are not there to molly-coddle them anymore. Once they die off...then what? Who's going to call for them to do the most basic of functions?

[dalesys]

One wonders what these over-protected children going to do when their parents are not there to molly-coddle them anymore.

Starve to death on the toilet, wailing, "MOMMY! Need a wipe!"

Oh frabjious day!

[Sundassa]

Wow. I was going to ask if your calls were recorded when I read the first one. I worked customer service where they were, and if customers complained like that, and wanted a supervisor over something I did or didn't say, I'd tell them that I'll talk to my supervisor and we'll listen to your call together, so that s/he too can hear that I greeted you 3 times, that way, when you go to the media, we can take that call to them too so they can properly cover the story. I don't think you want to be featured under strange news though...

[PepperElf]

First guy was likely being as ass on purpose so that he could try to get out of paying his premiums. What a douchecanoe -_-

That's what I suspect too. He invented an imaginary offense so that he could try to claim compensation for the non-existant offense. And now he's butthurt that his attempts were shot down and scoffed at.

SC - 'No, as *I* was saying, I am his MOTHER, I handle EVERYTHING for my child! He's not old enough to do any of this for himself! IM HIS MOTHER!'

Of course he's not "old enough" - not when he has Mommy convinced that she has to do this shit for him still.

I have an obligation to pass this call and your details through to management, who will then forward your information to the appropriate authorities, who will pursue you accordingly.

Sweet pwnage!

[raudf]

*sigh* Hubby hears something like this all the time at his job at a telcom. It's easy to setup an authorized user to an account, which gives said user all powers except to add/remove lines or close the account. For that you need a POA. If you aren't POA or authorized user, you will get politely railroaded to hang up.

What bites is I'm sure (but he won't tell me for certain) that he's (or a coworker)had calls were exes have tried to find out where the account owner is by acting as though they are on the account... when they aren't. So, it's railroad to hang up and note the account time. So it's for the account owner's safety. (I have heard him tell me about a coworker who got a 35 year old guy's mother calling about the son's account... and the son wanted nothing to do with the "crazy ass bitch," when contacted about the supposed, "issue.")

[tollbaby]

First guy was likely being as ass on purpose so that he could try to get out of paying his premiums. What a douchecanoe -_-

As for the whole thing with people calling in about another person's account, I deal with that all the time. For us we need to have a POA on file in order to speak to anybody other than the person the file is for. I have given up counting how many times a spouse has gone off on me because I will not provide them with confidential information about the file/account. "I'm married to them, blah blah blah...I handle all his stuff blah blah blah..."

They can confirm all the information they want but if they are either not the person the file is for and are not listed as a Power of Attorney for said person then they are SOL. We can only provide information to a dependent so much as it pertains to them and nothing more. Sucks to be them!

And this is why, after years of having to deal with this crap (it's crap because of my ex, not because of the companies, although our car insurance place holds a special place in my heart since after 8 years, they still don't have notes on the file that I'm authorized...), I have insisted to my ex that we are going off to get a POA for me to deal with his accounts. *sigh* He has some major anxiety issues, and I'm the one who deals with all his stuff, but with a POA, we wouldn't have to go through this pointless exercise when places - like our car insurance company - won't make notes on the file authorizing me to deal with them. Each and every time I phone them, they call him, he authorizes me, I deal with it - and then he can't function for like a week.

[roxtar]

got the husband/wife calling in a lot of times when I was working in the call center for a credit monitoring service...

Yes, I know you're both listed on the credit card, but this is for his credit record... entirely different. no, no they're not joint. yes, I do need to speak with him directly.

[kaherbert]

I have a question. My sister has a medical POA from me, because of life threatening allergies and a heart condition. Do I need to have that on file with my insurance, also? (She and my doctors all have copies). She had to invoke it one time because they were about to give me a medication related to something I had a severe reaction to - but that only involved the hospital.

[Opalin]

Great! Helicopter parents.

The bane of human existence.

One wonders what these over-protected children going to do when their parents are not there to molly-coddle them anymore. Once they die off...then what? Who's going to call for them to do the most basic of functions?

/shudders Helicopter parents creep me out. I understand and approve if your child actually needs help, but anything else and it's... they're an adult... Also, seriously, if you are gonna take care of em, why do you not have PoA?

[raudf]

I swore not to be a helicopter parent. Instead, I get complained about because my 11 year old knows how to to make his own meals for breakfast and lunch, washes his own clothing and in general does as much as he can on his own. He also likes to try tackling problems on his own, though he does ask for help/advice if it's a situation he's never encountered before.

In other words, my 11 year old is better prepared for the world than many 30 year olds I've met. Unfortunately, many parents can't tell the difference between shielding their kids and smothering them. Let 'em take the knocks they need, folks. Your job is to keep those knocks from being fatal or a felony. Otherwise, how are your kids gonna learn to function on their own? (Hint: They aren't. And some parents WANT it that way.)

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

In the defense of the "children," I have to say I unfortunately have the same experience. Sometimes, it's not the "children" who want or need their parents to intervene in their behalf. Some of us, *sigh*, have parents who are control-freaks, even in their sixties, who try to do things like that, even if we are not living with them. My dad...*sigh*, well, let's just say he's a little OCD.

[wolfie]

In the defense of the "children," I have to say I unfortunately have the same experience. Sometimes, it's not the "children" who want or need their parents to intervene in their behalf. Some of us, *sigh*, have parents who are control-freaks, even in their sixties, who try to do things like that, even if we are not living with them. My dad...*sigh*, well, let's just say he's a little OCD.

Any chance that the "children" in these cases could have a note added to their file (so anyone bringing it up would see it) saying that anyone claiming to be their parent is explicitly NOT authorized to be told ANYTHING? Would be interesting if the "child" sent in written authorization to back up an "enhanced" version of such a note - giving the CSR the OK to use profanity if a (claimed) parent called asking for info.