It just gets worse and worse with these people...

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I reject your security policies and substitute my own!

I ended up getting this call because the customer refuses to verify. This lady had a chip on her shoulder. A MASSIVE chip. Possibly part of a tectonic plate.

Me: Hi, my name is CC, I'm a manager with <red checkmark>, what can I do for you today?
SC: My bill is all wrong, I need it fixed.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that, this is Mrs. Doe I'm speaking with correct?
SC: Yes.
Me: Great, may I have your passcode please?
SC: I don't have a passcode, last 4 of my social is 6689.
Me: Actually I do see a passcode here and I will need to verify it before we go on.
SC: I don't HAVE A PASSCODE. My last 4 is 6689.
Me: We don't use last 4 anymore ma'am, too easy for someone to know or find out. We use personalized passcodes.
SC: I don't have one.
Me: According to this you do.
SC: I DON'T HAVE ONE and I don't want one!
Me: Well we require all accounts to have one now.
SC: Not mine.
Me: Yes, yours.
SC: NO.
Me: All accounts are required to have passcode.
SC: Now you listen to me Mr. Smartass, I've been with <red checkmark> for over 20 years. I have NEVER needed a passcode to get into my account nor do I want one. You will continue to use my last 4 until *I* tell you not to.
Me: I'm sorry I can't do that.
SC: Yes you can.
Me: No, I can't.
SC: YES YOU CAN.
Me: Ma'am, the security policy applies to all accounts. Without the passcode I can't discuss your bill.
SC: I DON'T HAVE A PASSCODE!!!
Me: Well, there has been one set on the account. If you like I can help you get it reset or you can go by one of our <red checkmark> stores with a Photo ID to reset it.
SC: Can they remove it for me?
Me: They can change it for you.
SC: I said REMOVE.
Me: I heard what you said and like I said earlier we REQUIRE passcodes on all accounts now. It doesn't matter how long you've been with us, you have to have a passcode.
SC: NO!! I REFUSE!!
Me: You can't refuse.
SC: YES I CAN!!!
Me: No, you can't.
SC: FINE, CANCEL ALL MY SERVICES...NOW!!
Me: I'll need the passcode to do that.
SC: GO TO HELL!!! SCREW YOU PEOPLE AND SCREW YOUR PASSCODE BULLSHIT!! *CLICK*

Was it wrong of me to have enjoyed that a little bit?


An Idiot abroad

So I lost 45 minutes of my life the other night that I will never get back.

How did this happen you ask?

Well, I went around and around and around with a guy who was arguing that he should NOT have to pay roaming charges while in Canada because it was "practically the U.S. anyway". That's it. That was his ENTIRE argument.

Look, we all know the America's Hat jokes but really pal? Canada is its own country with its own unique culture and traditions and despite its proximity to the United States it is not in any way part of it. And no, it doesn't matter that you're only 15 minutes from the damn border.

I am surprised after I finally convinced him of that he didn't try to pull the "but it's in North America!" crap. Of course that's stupid and wouldn't work either, but that seemed to be this guys preferred mode of attack.

An Idiot (Not) abroad

One of my reps got a call from a customer who was freaking out because she'd been in New Mexico for a few days and was worried she'd have to pay international charges.

No lie.

Cruisn' for a Bruisn'

This was one was equal parts funny and stupid. I SWEAR I am not making this up! Had a guy demanding a manager because he'd racked up $272 in roaming charges while on a Cruise (sidenote: Cruise ship roaming rates are stupidly high) and he feels he shouldn't have to pay for them because...wait for it...the cruise was "All Inclusive".



Wow...just wow. Like, seriously? First off, even on "All Inclusive" trips there are still some things that are not actually included (I know, the name is a bit misleading but...). Secondly, even IF it was included, that's between you and the Cruise company bub, whining at <Red Checkmark> ain't gonna help you. Scream at me all you want but that charge is staying right where it is.

Attack of the phone licker

Lady comes on to my line ripping me a new one because she had traded in a device on a SHARP upgrade that had been rejected for water damage and she'd been dinged just over $300 for the remaining balance of the plan. She had ordered online and chosen to send her phone in by mail rather than trade it in at a store.

She swears up and down the phone NEVER had water damage while it was in her possession and if it's showing as water damaged now one of my nefarious colleagues has obviously LICKED THE PHONE to trip the indicator and screw her out of some money.

Yes! That must be it, we just hate you so much we've actually put our personal health and well being at risk just to suck an extra $300 out of your bank account. Why? Because we can of course! Mwhahahahahaha!



Back in the real world I have just two responses to this: EWWW! and No.

Fact is she vouched the phone was in good condition. She didn't bother to check to it by her own admission and off the top of her head she can think of a couple of times when the phone "might" have been exposed to moisture. Sorry lady, you lose.

It's all YOUR fault!

There are websites out there where you can buy exceptionally cheap asian made electronics. Of course, as with most things, you get what you pay for. So sure, you can pick up a smartwatch for $15 but it won't work very well and will likely start to fall apart in about oh, three weeks.

The star of our idiot show today was a gentleman who had purchased some kind of bluetooth speaker system off one of these sites. In order to use it, he had to use an app. The app and most of the instructions that came with it were Chinese so of course our American friend didn't really know what he was doing.

Long story short: He never could get the speaker system to work and now he's installed several chinese apps that have malwared the hell out of his phone. I actually managed to get it fixed for him, the kicker came at the end when he asked me "what I was going to do about the speaker system ?". I actually laughed because I thought he was trying to be funny.

He wasn't.

SC: Why are you laughing?!
Me: I'm sorry, I thought you were joking.
SC: Joking? Why would I be joking?
Me: As I said I apologize, what exactly would you like me to do about the speaker?
SC: Well the thing cost me $25 including shipping and I've just spent most of my lunch hour talking to you trying to fix this mess. I'd like a $40 credit on my account.
Me: *record scratch*
Me: Well, I understand it was a frustrating experience but I mean, you took it upon yourself to buy an unauthorized third party accessory for your phone and in doing so you assumed the risks that come with that.
SC: What are you trying to say?
Me: I am saying that we only offer credits for <Red Checkmark> errors and this particular instance had nothing to do with one of our products.
SC: Well this was YOUR phone I was using to try and make the speakers work.
Me: Yes, but there's no evidence the phone caused this issue and plenty of evidence your speaker system and the associated chinese apps did. We cannot be responsible for things we have no control over.
SC: I still don't understand.
Me: (Grrr....let's try this again...) Well, imagine you bought a car and put after market parts on it, but you didn't install them properly and they messed up your engine. You wouldn't take the car back to the dealership and demand a free repair or some such. If you use after market products you accept the consequences that may arise, both positive and negative.
SC: I still think I deserve a credit for this. Do you know how much time I've wasted on this stupid thing?
Me: As I said to you before, we can't offer a credit in this instance.
SC: THat is TOTALLY unfair. Get me your manager. I will NOT be treated this way!

Guess who didn't get a credit. Go on, guess.

[eltf177]

Boy, you get some real rocket scientists here...<sarcasm mode off>

[NecessaryCatharsis]

An Idiot abroad

Well, I went around and around and around with a guy who was arguing that he should NOT have to pay roaming charges while in Canada because it was "practically the U.S. anyway". That's it. That was his ENTIRE argument.

I used to meet this guy a couple times a year working at the coffee shop 6 hours drive from the nearest border crossing. Either they were mad that our canadian coffee shop (which actually took american money) had such a crappy exchange rate, or they were mad that we wouldn't give change back in american money. "But I paid with real money, you have to give me back real money, it's the law!" or "What I am supposed to do with this canadian change, no one even takes it."

It's shocking to some people that things work differently in different countries, they genuinely think the whole world is just a larger version of exactly the same as home.

[EricKei]

On one hand: If it was a *cough* iFruit phone (I'm guessing it wasn't), some of their more recent models (2011 and later? Basically the sweatshop models) are known for having water sensors so sensitive that they can be set off simply by having them in your pocket during a good rain, or during a marathon -- even if you don't take them out.

Then again, far too many phone customers don't think that dropping the phone into a toilet, or that time they went and washed the damn thing, count as exposure to water, so...

[notalwaysright]

I used to meet this guy a couple times a year working at the coffee shop 6 hours drive from the nearest border crossing. Either they were mad that our canadian coffee shop (which actually took american money) had such a crappy exchange rate, or they were mad that we wouldn't give change back in american money. "But I paid with real money, you have to give me back real money, it's the law!" or "What I am supposed to do with this canadian change, no one even takes it."

It's shocking to some people that things work differently in different countries, they genuinely think the whole world is just a larger version of exactly the same as home.

The Costco in my town has a giant sign that says "Refunds will be given in US currency." I can only assume people thought that they'd get Canadian money back. To be honest, part of the problem is that some shops (including where I work) accept Canadian currency, so people think they'll get the Canadian back if they return something. As far as roaming charges, my phone sends me texts alerting me if I even get close to the border. Then I have plenty of time to turn off my data, and the text also tells me how much I'll be charged if I choose to use roaming data.

The New Mexico one made me laugh. Isn't there a member here who's location also says "New Mexico, we're a state!" or something like that? And since we're on the topic, isn't there a gag on a tv show where they make fun of the fact that we're so terrible with geography? (aha, here. For the record, I know where Nebraska is)

[Argabarga]

And when I dropped my phone face-down on gravel and turned its screen into a miniature moonscape, I felt incredibly guilty to have to go to the Red Checkmark store and sheepishly ask for one of those cardboard caskets to mail it back with.

And then I remember CC2nd's "customers" and realize that I'm practically a Saint for admitting I destroyed it via the "impromptu drop test" method, and, yes, knowing I was a klutz, opted for impromptu drop test insurance when I bought the darn thing....

[nutraxfornerves]

Re: New Mexico
http://www.nmmagazine.com/one-of-our-50-is-missing/

[mathnerd]

The New Mexico one made me laugh. Isn't there a member here who's location also says "New Mexico, we're a state!" or something like that? And since we're on the topic, isn't there a gag on a tv show where they make fun of the fact that we're so terrible with geography? (aha, here. For the record, I know where Nebraska is)

There's a national park I like to go to about 20 minutes from my house. I love everything about it except one thing: the proximity to the Mexican border means that I can't use my phone because the signal bounces off a Mexican tower and not a US one. I really wish they could come up with a way to keep that from happening. With all the brain power in the world, there has to be *something* they can do.

[Argus]

the proximity to the Mexican border means that I can't use my phone because the signal bounces off a Mexican tower and not a US one.

Is it possible that the Mexican tower isn't just the closest tower but actually the only one in range? You did mention that this is in a US National Park.

[mathnerd]

It's a national park, but not a very big one.

https://www.nps.gov/cabr/index.htm

[EricKei]

Math - There's a fairly good chance that they (read: engineers at Corporate) CAN set it up to prioritize US towers...it's just that they *don't*. Easy way to sneak in roaming fees on their part >_>

[Pixelated]

Boy, you get some real rocket scientists here...<sarcasm mode off>

And I thought I was dense when it comes to electronics ...

I reject your security policies and substitute my own!


An Idiot abroad

So I lost 45 minutes of my life the other night that I will never get back.

How did this happen you ask?

Well, I went around and around and around with a guy who was arguing that he should NOT have to pay roaming charges while in Canada because it was "practically the U.S. anyway". That's it. That was his ENTIRE argument.

*snip*

We've got somebody here in My Border Hometown (in Canada) who's got a Canadian flag, an American flag, and ... a Confederate flag ... hanging on their front porch .... Now that's eclectic.

[Kit-Ginevra]

One of my favourite places ever that I've found is Derby Line,Vt./Stansted,QC.
The library workers have to make sure you leave the same door you came in through.
They have been putting gates up to make sure people go down the official crossing point.
You can be nobbled from drinking alcohol in your back garden,but safe in your front.
The place is completely bonkers....

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

There's a national park I like to go to about 20 minutes from my house. I love everything about it except one thing: the proximity to the Mexican border means that I can't use my phone because the signal bounces off a Mexican tower and not a US one. I really wish they could come up with a way to keep that from happening. With all the brain power in the world, there has to be *something* they can do.

I can't speak for all carriers, but at <red checkmark> there is a feature we can add to your account that will block your phone from roaming on international towers. Many folks who live and/or work near the Canadian and Mexican borders take advantage of it.

[Ironclad Alibi]

We've got somebody here in My Border Hometown (in Canada) who's got a Canadian flag, an American flag, and ... a Confederate flag ... hanging on their front porch .... Now that's eclectic.

Maybe someone's ancestors were involved in the St. Albans Raid?