How to deal with saying no to verbally abusive people wanting to movein (swearing)

[Tama]

Aaaaaaaand it's all over. The sister's husband's "uncle" (his mother's boyfriend...I think. o.o???) came through with the money for their rent because he didn't want them to leave. The sister is all, "I can't look at you the same way again knowing what you think of me."

Bitch please.

Of course there will probably be another fight soon, Al and I are thinking of moving in with my grandmother and brother (grandmother is much tamer as she gets older and mostly just worries now) and of course, when his sister moved up there she and her mother both left oodles of their shit down here. Woe is they, they will have to figure out what to do with their shit.

[Seanette]

Considering their recent (mis)treatment of you and Al, time to quit being their freebie storage unit, IMO. I'd load their stuff into a rental storage unit (a lot of those offer the first month either free or at a big discount), then send them keys and tell them they have a month to get their crap before you let the storage lapse.

Of course, I can be a bit of a bitch at times.

ETA: Occurs to me that if you get rid of the freeloading stuff, you'll have more of the space YOU are paying for for the things YOU want to do with it.

[Sapphire Silk]

Considering their recent (mis)treatment of you and Al, time to quit being their freebie storage unit, IMO. I'd load their stuff into a rental storage unit (a lot of those offer the first month either free or at a big discount), then send them keys and tell them they have a month to get their crap before you let the storage lapse.

Of course, I can be a bit of a bitch at times.

ETA: Occurs to me that if you get rid of the freeloading stuff, you'll have more of the space YOU are paying for for the things YOU want to do with it.

That's a lot nicer than what I said to my ex. After hounding him for over a month to come get his stuff, because I was moving, I told him anything he didn't come get by X date would be on the curb.

He came and got his stuff.

[KuariKaydrith]

That's a lot nicer than what I said to my ex. After hounding him for over a month to come get his stuff, because I was moving, I told him anything he didn't come get by X date would be on the curb.

He came and got his stuff.

I did this to an ex of mine, but I told him that it would be in the dumpster because I wasn't going to pay a fine for littering on the curb. He thought I was joking. He learned that I don't play games - his stuff went into the dumpster, I took and sent him pictures of the stuff in the dumpster and warned him that the garbage truck would be around the next day. I don't know if he got his stuff before the local dumpster diver got to it first, but he'd been warned!

[taxguykarl]

I took my ex's stuff to a storage locker. That was my last face-to-face contact.

[Jester]

That's a lot nicer than what I said to my ex. After hounding him for over a month to come get his stuff, because I was moving, I told him anything he didn't come get by X date would be on the curb.

He came and got his stuff.

I did this to an ex of mine, but I told him that it would be in the dumpster because I wasn't going to pay a fine for littering on the curb.

Deadbeat ex roommate of mine. Threw him out for many valid reasons. Gave him two was to get the stuff he didn't take that day. He didn't come get it. Most of it ended up in the dumpster. Some he got back. A few items, I kept, and he knew it. "I'm never getting that light saber back, am I?" "Nope. Spoils of war, dude."

I would've felt bad, until I saw what he did to the room and some of my pots and pans, and then I took great joy in pitching his shit into the dumpster.

Let's just say that I have pictures, and you never want to see them.

[KuariKaydrith]

I want to see them, but then I'm a sucker for punishment. After all, I DO work in a call center. :P

[EricKei]

I ended up having to buy a bunch of new pots and pans after my last move -- Most of those I had at the time were Teflon-coated, and the (now-ex) roomies didn't exactly listen when I asked them to stop using metal utensils on my pans...they had none of their own, of course. Fortunately, I had some aluminum pots, so those survived, but a bunch just got left behind, along with almost all of my plates and glasses.

[Jester]

I want to see them, but then I'm a sucker for punishment. After all, I DO work in a call center. :P

There's a sucker for punishment. That is apparently the level at which you are currently.
Then there's a glutton for punishment.
Then there's a masochist.
And then, beyond mascochist, is a self-hater.
A few levels beyond THAT would want to see those pictures.
They are revolting.

[Tama]

There's a sucker for punishment. That is apparently the level at which you are currently.
Then there's a glutton for punishment.
Then there's a masochist.
And then, beyond mascochist, is a self-hater.
A few levels beyond THAT would want to see those pictures.

So basically Satan himself would go, "Oh my god, that's nasty"?





Al and I were thinking of moving in with my grandmother who is going to be 70 this coming January. It's been a few years and I thought she had mellowed with age.

How wrong I was. She's talkative enough and quiet to me, but...wow, to my brother. Granted he prizes his girlfriend over her and spends money on things he shouldn't, but JEEZ. I think she has lost her mental filter as she has gotten older. She has to be in your business when you are whispering...all the time. She asked me if I "think for myself or jump when Al says." (I tend to listen to Al more than act on my own volition, but that is because he's trustworthy and I don't know how a lot of shit works, but I sure didn't tell her that).

Now, just to give you a sample of her behavior...my father was sentenced to 14 months yesterday for a drunk driving crash ("You cannot drink after you get out, you must attend rehab"...HAHA good one judge, tell me another! MY dad, not drink himself under the table? And drive without a license or insurance?) and my grandmother and brother attended it.

Coming out grandma was apparently threatening to hit him with her cane.

She has also hit him on the knee with it while he was driving at highway speed....etc. She insults his fiance a lot. Long story short she is like a big bucket of narcissist and nobody wants to live with her.

The problem is, what DO we do with her? My poor beleaguered uncle is trying to figure out what to do, because my brother has decided to move out with his fiance (who said she would leave him if he didn't). Nobody has the money to put her in assisted living and god knows he doesn't want her at their house.

She has inherited some money from her deceased mother, but a trust fund is involved and no one can get a figure out of her of how much she gets out of it every month/whatever.





See, folks...this is why I do not watch soap operas. I have one of my own. I should write a book, I'd make a fucking fortune.

[mathnerd]

Is she at a point where she can be declared mentally incompetent and have a guardian of sorts appointed? I'm not sure I have any ideas if she's not at that point.

[Tama]

I'm not sure where she is--if I had to say for sure, I would say she's borderline.

She is diabetic and is no longer permitted to drive because she has the occasional blackout, and is also nightblind.

She is tired of cooking (though really I don't blame her on this at her age) and they get fast food, a lot. She's also very...well, the only way to put it is she has no filter as to what she says right now.

This is just a big mess. Urgh.

[Sapphire Silk]

I'm not sure where she is--if I had to say for sure, I would say she's borderline.

She is diabetic and is no longer permitted to drive because she has the occasional blackout, and is also nightblind.

She is tired of cooking (though really I don't blame her on this at her age) and they get fast food, a lot. She's also very...well, the only way to put it is she has no filter as to what she says right now.

This is just a big mess. Urgh.

She'd probably do very well in assisted living, if she can afford it. Her trust fund might be enough to cover the monthly costs. She'd have a safe place to live, someone to cook decent meals for her, access to health care, and best of all the rest of the family won't have to deal with her shit anymore.

[Tama]

The thing is, she has to share the trust fund with her two siblings, and no one really knows how much is even in it. She sure won't say--she said "200" but that is what I was told secondhand--and I'm not sure if that is per week or month...I'm not in contact with them very often.

My uncle is trying to find out how much is in the fund though, so...there's that.

[Tama]

And things are probably about to explode. Or not. I have NO idea.

Al's sister and her husband left their house in an ambulance this morning. Their newest baby (I'll call her "Jo") died in her sleep. Al's mother has already been hit with two infant daughter deaths of her own...and now, so has one of her two living daughters.

This'll probably drive Al's sister off the deep end.