A Complaint?

[dragon_wings]

I live in Tennessee. I get called ma'am a lot. As a 25 year old woman that looks 18-21 I don't really like it. But I've stopped arguing. It's not worth the effort.
Now if I'm addressing a young woman (someone looking my agree or younger) I'll address her as 'Miss'. I haven't had anyone react negatively to that... Yet.
The other night I thanked my manager in Spanish for a change and he called me senorita then made sure that was the right word to use to for me. :P

[lordlundar]

The time I got reamed out over the phone for using "Ma'am," The SC told me indignantly, "I'm not old enough to be a ma'am!"

Odd. I didn't realize politeness had an age limit.

ma'am is abbreviated from "madam" which usually referred to a matriarch or nearest equivalent and was a designation of maturity. Younger women and those not in such a level of position were traditionally referred to as "miss".

So in traditional circles you were politely insulting her age.

[SkullBash]

Definitely a regional thing. I'm from the South, too. In some areas of the country, Ma'am is more or less an insult. In others, *failure* to use Ma'am is an insult.

Since I began living in the South this is the one Southernism I've completely integrated because I was also raised to think using "Sir" and "Ma'am" was just polite. It really is a habitual, mindless thing for me when I address strangers. Imagine my embarrassment on a trip to Boston once upon a time where I forgot where I was until a store clerk said to me, "Please don't call me 'sir'."

[scruff]

The south U.S. isn't the only place to have something similar. In some areas of England, I had to get used to being called "pet" or "love" by older men.

Try some areas of northern England. :-) In some places, men use 'pet' and 'love' as friendly terms to both men and women.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I do it. I blame my southern roots. My family has been in the south since the 1600s.

Same here. Can't help I was raised in a southern state with North as it's first name.

[Whirly_bird]

ma'am is abbreviated from "madam" which usually referred to a matriarch or nearest equivalent and was a designation of maturity. Younger women and those not in such a level of position were traditionally referred to as "miss".

So in traditional circles you were politely insulting her age.

Women in the military are regularly called 'ma'am' and you can sign up at 17.

[Jay]

Hmm, I only use sweetheart/hun/etc when I'm being condescending or rude...

It's not at all difficult to tell the difference between condescension and friendliness, imho.

[CloserToSane]

I use 'love', 'sweetheart', 'darling', 'poppet', 'love' and 'my love' towards co workers and friends - oh and younger family members. Guests are sir and miss usually, an occasional ma'am or their names if I can remember them.

[CustomerBeatingRobot]

The problem I have with hun, is that it sends me the wrong message. I am thinking that this girl might be into me but she says that to everyone. It is like being at a strip club. Hun is a personal endearing term.

[lobo65]

I'm from Mississippi, and like others stated, it is a cultural thing in the South. I remember doing my Air Force Reserve training in Massachusetts one summer, and called a young lady ma'am when she was ringing my purchase up at a store in Amherst. She said "you must be from the South." I told her I was, but she wasn't offended by it luckily. She thought it was neat. Older ladies here will call me hun or sweetie, and I don't mind because it is a term of endearment.

What I also see here is many of the African American women, who are largely religious, will tell me to have a blessed day after ringing me up. I don't mind because I do believe in the big man upstairs, but that may be a problem for some. I've never heard anyone complain yet though. Even if I wasn't religious, I would just let it slide.

[Cat Herder]

I once worked a six-month temp assignment in an office in a Chicago suburb. Most employees there were middle-aged moms, and I got addressed as "Honey"* more frequently during those six months than I have ever been at any other time in my life. I didn't mind, though; I like it when women use terms of endearment to address me (I am male, in case anyone's wondering).

*Also "Sweetheart", "Sweetie", and occasionally, "Baby", but I think "Baby" might be more of an African-American thing.

ETA: When I worked as a Census Crew Leader, a woman in my crew used to call me "Honey" even though I was her boss. See my note above about liking that, but I was surprised she would do it, since people do get into trouble for that sort of thing. Yes, she definitely meant it in an affectionate way, not a condescending way.

[Merriweather]

What I also see here is many of the African American women, who are largely religious, will tell me to have a blessed day after ringing me up. I don't mind because I do believe in the big man upstairs, but that may be a problem for some. I've never heard anyone complain yet though. Even if I wasn't religious, I would just let it slide.

I've never had a problem with people saying things like that, no matter what the religion involved. Someone is wishing me well, that's a good thing. It's a nice thought, they mean well, and it certainly can't harm me, whether I believe in what they do or not. Really, it's a complement - they believe in "the great spaghetti monster", and they want "the great spaghetti monster" to bless me. How sweet of them, even if I don't believe in "the great spaghetti monster" cause I know "the great pizza ogre" is really who's in charge