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I’ve got a few stories from the last week or so. Maybe it was the hot weather, but last Thursday seemed to be the day for customers to threaten to move their accounts elsewhere.
Flighty Customer #1
Threatened to move his account elsewhere because he was overdrawn for the first time in 10 years. As if that was the bank’s fault.
I compared his ledger to our records and found that he had written four checks in twice, forgot to write one check in, and didn’t write in his insurance premiums or his monthly fee. The icing on this fail cake was that he had addition errors every 2-3 checks in his ledger. The only thing I could do was tell him where he should be based on the balance we had for him.
He kept repeating, "I don't understand how this happened." I almost feel sorry for him because he's starting to get senile. We finally got his son (who's on the account) in to explain that his dad needs help maintaining his account.
Flighty Customer #2
Threatened to move his account elsewhere because his ATM card didn’t work. We had just purged off cards that hadn’t been used in six months. But of course the customer claimed he had just used it last month. I offered to order him a new card, which takes 1-2 weeks. He said, “I might have to get a card elsewhere, but I’ll think about it.”
Flighty Customer #3
Came in to get a document notarized. I asked for ID (luckily, he didn’t complain about that) and told him we charge $1 for notary service. Then I looked at the document. It had places for him and his wife to sign, and she had already signed it. So I refused to notarize it. I explained that if she comes in, I can have her sign a piece of scratch paper and compare the signatures, then I can still notarize it. He was ok with that, but then he complained about the fee.
SC: We’ve had that account 30 years, and we’ve never paid fees!
Me: When the bank changed hands, they changed the fee structure on all accounts.
I gave him a brochure that shows him what he gets for free with his account, and it’s not much. He suggests that he might change banks if he can’t get everything for free.
Later, he came back with his wife. I was busy with SC #1 (again), so they go to CW. CW asks for ID, which they gripe about. Then CW asks the wife to sign some scratch paper.
SW: <shouting>What are you going to do with that?!?
CW: Shred it.
Then CW doesn’t charge them, just to get them out of her face. I guess I can’t blame her.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
This customer is all that much more difficult to deal with because she’s a former coworker and friend of the branch manager. She stopped in Friday afternoon to ask about renewing her CD-secured loan. She agreed to dollar amounts for the new CD and loan. She agreed to the rates I quoted for both. She just wanted to double-check with her husband, and would call me Tuesday morning to verify it.
She called Tuesday afternoon. Verified that what she told me Friday was correct and made an appointment for 10am the next day.
They came in at 10am. I had everything ready for them. Then the husband balks at the loan rate. I ask the branch manager if we can do better. She says yes, to do 2% over the CD rate. I change the rate, but then the husband asks us to extend the time. I run three different amortizations, and they finally pick one after hemming and hawing for a while. I reprint the new CD and half the loan documents.
Now that we’ve agreed to their terms, they act like they’re in a hurry. I go through the documents as fast as possible, hoping I don’t miss anything.
What time?
Today, a customer came in to open a safe deposit box.
SC: Can I pick the box number?
Me: I suppose so. Which one do you want?
SC: 420.
Flighty Customer #1
Threatened to move his account elsewhere because he was overdrawn for the first time in 10 years. As if that was the bank’s fault.
I compared his ledger to our records and found that he had written four checks in twice, forgot to write one check in, and didn’t write in his insurance premiums or his monthly fee. The icing on this fail cake was that he had addition errors every 2-3 checks in his ledger. The only thing I could do was tell him where he should be based on the balance we had for him.
He kept repeating, "I don't understand how this happened." I almost feel sorry for him because he's starting to get senile. We finally got his son (who's on the account) in to explain that his dad needs help maintaining his account.
Flighty Customer #2
Threatened to move his account elsewhere because his ATM card didn’t work. We had just purged off cards that hadn’t been used in six months. But of course the customer claimed he had just used it last month. I offered to order him a new card, which takes 1-2 weeks. He said, “I might have to get a card elsewhere, but I’ll think about it.”
Flighty Customer #3
Came in to get a document notarized. I asked for ID (luckily, he didn’t complain about that) and told him we charge $1 for notary service. Then I looked at the document. It had places for him and his wife to sign, and she had already signed it. So I refused to notarize it. I explained that if she comes in, I can have her sign a piece of scratch paper and compare the signatures, then I can still notarize it. He was ok with that, but then he complained about the fee.
SC: We’ve had that account 30 years, and we’ve never paid fees!
Me: When the bank changed hands, they changed the fee structure on all accounts.
I gave him a brochure that shows him what he gets for free with his account, and it’s not much. He suggests that he might change banks if he can’t get everything for free.
Later, he came back with his wife. I was busy with SC #1 (again), so they go to CW. CW asks for ID, which they gripe about. Then CW asks the wife to sign some scratch paper.
SW: <shouting>What are you going to do with that?!?
CW: Shred it.
Then CW doesn’t charge them, just to get them out of her face. I guess I can’t blame her.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
This customer is all that much more difficult to deal with because she’s a former coworker and friend of the branch manager. She stopped in Friday afternoon to ask about renewing her CD-secured loan. She agreed to dollar amounts for the new CD and loan. She agreed to the rates I quoted for both. She just wanted to double-check with her husband, and would call me Tuesday morning to verify it.
She called Tuesday afternoon. Verified that what she told me Friday was correct and made an appointment for 10am the next day.
They came in at 10am. I had everything ready for them. Then the husband balks at the loan rate. I ask the branch manager if we can do better. She says yes, to do 2% over the CD rate. I change the rate, but then the husband asks us to extend the time. I run three different amortizations, and they finally pick one after hemming and hawing for a while. I reprint the new CD and half the loan documents.
Now that we’ve agreed to their terms, they act like they’re in a hurry. I go through the documents as fast as possible, hoping I don’t miss anything.
What time?
Today, a customer came in to open a safe deposit box.
SC: Can I pick the box number?
Me: I suppose so. Which one do you want?
SC: 420.
I do feel sorry for him. Senile dementia/senility/Alzheimer's are just horrible. Losing your mind and independence, bit by bit. I hope the son will get his dad the help he needs.
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