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  • #61
    Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
    My Pillow with the vaguely creepy-looking guy on the box.
    That's hilarious! Along with his ridiculous silk shirt.

    He makes me not trust the pillow.
    Last edited by Firecrackers Not Included; 04-22-2014, 05:58 PM.

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    • #62
      Quoth ozcatbug View Post
      99% FAT FREE

      On a bag of marshmallows.

      Only marshmallows are usually 100% fat free, and almost 100% sugar.
      I thought marshmallows were made from pork product so this might be relevant.

      Quoth ADeMartino View Post
      Not related to food or drugs, but there was a 'snake oil' product I was supposed to push when I worked in auto parts - and it literally WAS an oil. The deal was this: you were supposed to add this product to your engine oil at every change. Whether this goo actually provided a mechanical benefit or not is up for debate (I'm thinking it didn't do anything special, personally), but the deal was if the engine ever failed; the company that made this sludge would allegedly pay for repairs to the engine. Now, bear in mind that this crud was like $15 for a one-quart bottle - and we're speaking of the late 1980s and early 1990s!

      Yeeeeeeahhh, right. The conditions for making a claim were ridiculously narrow. For example, the car had to have fewer than 50,000 miles when usage of the product started, and could not have more than 100,000 miles at the time of engine failure. It also specifically excluded diesels and 'high performance' engines, AND you had to document that you'd been using the product at every oil change (which, by the way, was mandated by the product manufacturer at 2,000 mile intervals). AND you had to send a sample of the oil to the manufacturer so they could verify that it was in use at the time the engine quit.

      Seriously, if you have a car with between 50,000 and 100,000 miles and are changing the oil at 2000-3000 mile intervals like you're already supposed to, odds of engine failure are slim to none in the first place.
      Reminds me of Granny Clampett's cure for the common cold, take the mixture then have a couple weeks of bed rest and it clears your right up.



      So we've got a product I was going to start a thread on but it's close enough to go here. Wireless Dice. Yup that's right, I'm almost tempted to just leave the description at that.

      Basically for the wonderful price of $50 dollars (that's right get your wallets out) you can purchase a single 6 sided die about an inch across. This die comes with a USB wireless dongle that can work with up to 3 such dice (they all come with a dongle) and the idea is when using a COMPATIBLE board game you roll these dice and it reports your roll to the game. So for full use you get to spend $150 and end up with 2 extra dongles as well as the cost of the games.

      So with tax you get to spend around $200. be still my heart.
      Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
      Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

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      • #63
        There was a clip they showed on The Checkout a few weeks back about bogus health claims. One of them was that "radium gives you sexual powers!"

        The subsequent clip they showed was of a doctor going to his patient "I'm sorry, but you have cancer of the everything." Patient: "but I have great sexual powers!" (the show is meant to be satirical, but also serious)
        The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

        Now queen of USSR-Land...

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