What to do when an offender lives in your area

[shankyknitter]

Don't over react.

A close friend of mine is on the RSO list for statutory. The reason? He was 22 and took a girl home from a bar. She was 15. He didn't know, he stupidly didn't ask, she didn't say, it was a whole shit storm once her mother found out what happened to her precious angel.

Is that to say this guy may not turn out to be a problem? No. But it's just to point out that there are circumstances that can easily lead to someone being on the RSO list for one stupid unwitting mistake. Or maybe he was young, had a girlfriend who was younger, and her parents didn't approve.

If he's been living in your complex for a while now and there's been no problems I'd suggest letting it go. Would you be concerned about him if you hadn't seen his name on the list? If you didn't worry before I wouldn't worry now.

[fireheart]

For now I have sent an email about the daycare center and I also think that the people in this complex do have a right to know. But I will only do what the law says I can and I am waiting to see how I can go about this. It also said in his "profile" that he is a "mentally diagnosed sex offender" so I need to do more research and contact more people so I go about this the right way.

I think you've done the right thing for now. While we do have an RSO list in Ausland, I'm not 100% sure about the laws.

I reckon just keep a low profile in the meantime. Don't talk to him and don't give any indication that you've done anything. Be alert but not paranoid.

[terakhan]

I figured this site would offer some answers, if not the ones you are looking for.

My personal advice follows what everyone else said. Be vigilant, but not a vigilante.

[Jester]

I want to point something out here that has been overlooked.

And that is that the vast majority of the people on this website probably live within a short distance of a registered sex offender.

As an example, I did a quick search in my area.
There are 63 RSO's within 3 miles of my home address.
There are 57 RSO's within 2 miles of my home address.
There are 7 RSO's within 1 mile of my home address.
There are 2 RSO's within 0.4 miles of my front door.
There is 1 RSO just down the street from me, 0.2 miles away. For those who do math, that's a mere 1,000 feet.

Keep in mind, Key West is only 2 miles by 4 miles (a few of the RSO's were on the next island over). But my point is very simple: odds are each and every one of us (perhaps excepting those who live way out in the country) almost definitely lives near a RSO.

Frankly, I'd be more worried about the ones you DON'T know about. You know...the ones who haven't been caught? Because I got news for you: not all sexual predators are registered. Not even close.

I'm not trying to scare anyone. I'm trying to point out reality. And since the authorities already know about this particular winner, he is less likely to do something blatant and stupid. If all he's doing right now is looking at kids, great for him...he's managed to contain the dangerous part of himself. He can look and think all he wants, as far as I'm concerned. It's like us imagining the various violent things we'd like to do to the more obnoxious SC's we deal with...but we don't actually do them. He actually did it once. That does not mean he will do it again. Whereas the predator who hasn't been caught, on the other hand....

Of course, this is all assuming his crime was a true crime. As others have pointed out, some RSO's are in their situation because of a technicality, or for something minor. Sure, this guy was popped for acts with children under 14. How do we know he wasn't 15 at the time? The U.S. legal system is odd. If a 15 year old boy and a 13 year old girl hook up, they will go after the 15 year old boy, despite the fact that both are underage and both are committing the act. Also, if you have an 18 year old and someone under 18, if the boy is the legal adult, the system will go after him...but if it's the girl who is of legal age, not the boy, and they are close in age, they system will never go after her.

I am not saying this guy is not a creepazoid. Odds are that he is. But there are a lot of possible reasons he is an RSO. And the odds are also very good that he is not the only one in your area....he is just the only one that got caught.

My research also found that he can't live within half a mile of any school or daycare center. I sent an email to I hope the proper people letting them know that he is living right next to a day care center.

This was the proper course of action.

I also want to tell the other residents, especially with kids, about this man but first I need to see what I can legally do or say.

This would not be. Because not everyone in your community would be as level-headed as you are, and as has been pointed out by many here, you don't know the particulars of his conviction.

I have often seen this man just standing and looking out of his patio. His apartment is right in front of our play area for the kids.

Was he looking at kids in the play area? Or was he just enjoying the view from his patio? I often sit out on my balcony and look down at the pool. Sometimes there are kids there. But I am just enjoying the view...especially if there are good-looking women in bikinis there. But someone paranoid about me might think I am looking at the kids, not the bikinis. They would be wrong. So what he is looking at is relevant.

Any ideas or does anybody know what I can do while I am waiting for replys from the agencies I emailed.

Sit tight.
Wait for the response from the authorities.
Instill in your daughter the right things, i.e., don't talk to strangers, don't go with strangers, etc. Do not mention this guy by name or point him out to her. You are just going to scare her. Better she know the way to be around all strangers, and not worry about one particular (potential) boogeyman. Because if she's worrying about Mr. Neighbor, some other creepazoid could come along and cause some major damage.

That's insanely scary.

Do a search in your neighborhood. I think you'll be surprised. Because the above is not scary. It is common.

I'm all for giving a person the benefit of the doubt,
but this....seems pretty clear cut to me.

If he was 15, and the other person was 13, is that a clear cut case of a lecherous vile disgusting sexual monster waiting to prey on all of our innocent children? No, of course not. We don't know the particulars of his case. As I said, odds are he did do something pretty wrong, but we don't know that.

saying something like "he's waiting for the kids to go inside so he can leave" - just seems like making an assumption based on no data.

As is your statement above. Because without knowing his case, this is not clear cut at all.

Keep in mind, all of the above was my pointing out potential possibilities, nothing more. I abhor sexual predators with all my soul, and would have no problem beating most of them to a bloody pulp with a blunt object, laughing the entire time. But without knowing the details of this man's case, we truly cannot say if he is a monster, someone caught in a minor screwup, or somewhere in between. Until such time as we do know, we can't and shouldn't jump to conclusions. The OP should exercise normal caution and safety measures, and instill in her daughter those same things. She's correctly informed the police of her neighbor's proximity to the day care center. Anything more would, at this time, by patently unfair and wrong.

[Der Cute]

The whole point is: Let the cops do the work. Report and rest.

If you feel there has been no /little followup after your report, you may want to speak to a cop by yourself. But not just a "oh he got convicted and he needs to go" . You just cant walk in and say "I think this guy did something but I dont know what he did or when"

Once reported, the cops' job is to verify the rules of that offender, chat w/ the PO and follow procedure to change situation if needed.
As I said: if you report it and you dont see anything, go ask in person. But, no accusatory shit. Just..Hey. Bob lives here, and as a mom, I keep an eye out for RSO's. Bob's an RSO, and I wanted to let you konw he's within 50 yrds of the school. His apt is #Q at this addy. Would you please investigate? Thanks.

That's it. Spreading info w/o backup : not good. Assuming stuff: not good.

and..please go check stats by states/govt on child molestations.

[ShadowBall]

I checked out where I live too...42 offenders within about 20 miles of my hometown, and 16 "unmappable" offenders. I guess that means the ones they didn't catch yet.

But I gotta agree with "be on guard, but not paranoid" because you can't tell by looking at someone if they are on the RSO for actual, premeditated sex crimes or if they messed around consensually with someone who was underage. I would love to say more, but I fear I will enter fratching territory.

[MoonCat]

I'm not suggesting to get out the pitchforks and form a mob. Nor am I suggesting that she run around to all the neighbors and get them riled up. I'm aware that sometimes a teenage boy gets nailed by his slightly-young girlfriend's parents.

What I would want to know is: how old is the guy now? How long did he spend in prison? How long has he been out? Because you would have a fairly good idea from that if this was a case of 15 year old boy with 13 year old GF, or a (for example) 30 year old guy who just got out after 2 years in jail. Some sex predator websites will tell you these things.

And believe me, I realize it's the ones you don't know about that are scary. In my old neighborhood, there was a guy who actually climbed in through second story windows to rape women. He was finally caught, but the cops pointed out that they had 17 suspects. Just for this one crime spree.

[Shangri-laschild]

He has convictions for lewd acts with children under 14 years of age.

Also maybe look into what they consider as "lewd acts" because if I'm remembering right that might even include someone who was drunk and peed in an ally and someone under 14 saw. Might be wrong but the point is that along with all the people who have pointed out that just because it says under 14, doesn't mean for sure that he did anything like what you might first think. I'm not saying to not be aware but also keep in mind that you don't know the full story yet.

[NateTheChops]

This is more to everyone as well as JLG. But it's also a good idea to make sure your kids are street smart and savvy about what to do when an adult makes them uncomfortable or they feel threatened.

I lost a family member many years ago and it's so stupid to me because it was the kind of thing my brothers and I were able to avoid. Because our parents drilled into our heads the importance of safety and of not going into strange people's homes.

I know you can't always plan for what your kids will do. But in this case, at least it would give you peace of mind to know that she can handle herself when you're not there.

[Jester]

But it's also a good idea to make sure your kids are street smart and savvy about what to do when an adult makes them uncomfortable or they feel threatened.

I have actually talked to my nieces and, in detail, explained the best ways to get out of a Bad Situation, including (but not limited to), talking a great game, yelling their fool head off, running like the wind, using their keys as a weapon, Knee to the Groin, sometimes followed up by a favorite move of mine, Grab Them by the Back of Their Head and Slam It Into Your Knee...and various others.

Look, it's always, ALWAYS best for them to avoid Situations. But if they do find themselves in one despite their best attempts not to, it's also good for them to know how to deal with the situation in a number of ways.

[Indigo]

I want to point something out here that has been overlooked.

And that is that the vast majority of the people on this website probably live within a short distance of a registered sex offender.

As an example, I did a quick search in my area.
There are 63 RSO's within 3 miles of my home address.
There are 57 RSO's within 2 miles of my home address.
There are 7 RSO's within 1 mile of my home address.
There are 2 RSO's within 0.4 miles of my front door.
There is 1 RSO just down the street from me, 0.2 miles away. For those who do math, that's a mere 1,000 feet.

Keep in mind, Key West is only 2 miles by 4 miles (a few of the RSO's were on the next island over). But my point is very simple: odds are each and every one of us (perhaps excepting those who live way out in the country) almost definitely lives near a RSO.

Out of curiosity, I did a search and found that there are 18 sex offenders within a 3 mile radius of my parents' home - and they do live way out in the country.

Out of the 18 sex offenders, 10 are due to Indecency with a Minor.

Out of those 10, only one is old enough to be able to definitively tell that it wasn't a slightly over 18 yr old dating someone younger at the time of conviction (born in 1941, convicted in 2002).

End conclusion - there's lots of over 18/under 18 relationships going on (not a big surprise) and occasionally parents get pissed over it. Do I worry about my younger brothers because of it? No. Am I afraid to go wander around my yard at night or live in that neighborhood because of it? No.

Like Jester and so many others have said, its about teaching your children to protect themselves and be aware of their surroundings.

[Seshat]

I have actually talked to my nieces and, in detail, explained the best ways to get out of a Bad Situation

I'd like to strongly agree here.

The OP doesn't actually have any new information. Until she looked up the website, she knew that her children might be in danger from sexual predators. Now she knows her children might be in danger from sexual predators.

The risk factor hasn't actually changed. All that's different is that she knows that one guy who was stupid enough to get caught lives near her. For all she knows, her next door neighbour is a predator smart enough not to get caught!

I recommend reading Gavin DeBecker's "The Gift of Fear" and similar books that teach caution but not paranoia. Mr DeBecker has also written "Protecting the Gift", for parents to keep children safe. I can't personally recommend that because I haven't read it, but if I had children I'd buy it 'cause the other one was so useful to me.

Contact your local police and see if they provide a personal safety course, or a list of local personal safety courses run by private providers. (For the latter, look for one that teaches awareness as much as actions.) Also, see if you can get age-appropriate personal safety courses for the kids; or age-appropriate martial arts classes of some sort.

Even gymnastics, athletics, or hell, climbing trees! Keep their bodies as fit as possible, and teach them 'when in doubt, yell and run'.

Another important one is 'run TO, not AWAY': in other words, they should always know where there's lights-and-people - a shop, a manned train station, a petrol station, an emergency services station. If approached and made uncomfortable, they should scream at the top of their lungs and run to lights-and-people.

'Make a scene' is always important if there are witnesses/bystanders. If someone is harassing or predating on you and won't take 'no' for an answer, DO make a scene! Someone in the area is going to be sensible enough to at least separate the two of you, and that's what you want!
Mr DeBecker recommends lifting your hands up between you and the other, in a position which is a clear 'no!' (and which can block a punch), and shouting "I said NO!" That both puts you in a good defensive position, and makes it clear to witnesses that you are the defender here.

My last piece of advice here is going to be 'bystander syndrome'. If given a choice between making a scene in a street or in a shop, choose the shop. It makes it someone-in-specific's problem. Not fair on the poor shop assistant, true, but every adult should learn the story of poor Kitty Genovese* and how to avoid it happening to them - and their children.
If at all possible, always make your problem 'someone in specific's' problem. Otherwise, the vast majority of humanity will assume 'someone will take care of it, I don't have to'.

* Yes, I linked to wikipedia. I learned about her in my psych class. For those who want more academic citations, "kitty genovese .edu" is a good search string. Or hit any comprehensive library and search on her name, or on 'bystander syndrome'.

[trailerparkmedic]

I was always taught to yell "Fire!" instead of "Rape!" I guess the rationale is that more people would respond to something that could affect them (a fire nearby) or that people are more interested taking action against a fire than someone being raped. I don't know if there's really a difference, but if something happened to me, I'd be screaming just about anything.

[Jester]

Strong opinions and language....

...every adult should learn the story of poor Kitty Genovese* and how to avoid it happening to them - and their children.

In addition to the wikipedia article, I highly recommend reading this article on the case from TruTV.

I was always taught to yell "Fire!" instead of "Rape!"

I have heard that theory as well, and while there may well be some truth to it, the problem I have with it is that people tend to run away from fires, rather than to them. Perhaps in a shop yelling "THIEF!" instead of "RAPE!" would be a good idea, as in shops they are definitely going to want to deter thieves. Look, anything to get the scumbag away from you, right? There is no rule saying you have to be honest in what you yell to get people to your aid and, more to the point, separating you from the creepazoid in question.

While I do believe violence should be a last resort, sometimes a situation deteriorates to the point where a last resort is called for. Towards that end, I am going to post a tactic suggested to me by my father when I was younger, smaller, and bullied by those larger than me. There are many variables to this, of course, and I suggest modifying it to your own uses....but being aware of such a strategy can be very helpful in such scenarios. (I know CS does not condone violence, and I agree with that stance, but we are not talking about obnoxious customers here, we are talking about self-defense. And towards that end, if all other avenues have been exhausted, I am going to condone the use of violence here to prevent a further crime. I hope the mods will forgive me.)

When faced with a physically superior opponent, and escape is not possible or feasible, face them and spit directly into their face, preferably into their eyes. The natural reaction by most people is to grab their face with their hands, or to throw their hands up in a defensive posture. At this time, the second maneuver should be to either stomp as hard as you can on their foot, or into their shin, or into their knee, or kneeing them in the crotch. (Since most predators are male, this last one is very effective.) This should cause the predator to double over in pain, in all likelihood grabbing at their nether regions. Since such a maneuver will rarely put a predator out of commission for long, if a quick escape is still not feasible, it is time to employ the third part of this gambit. Grab the back of their head with both of your hands, and slam their face as hard as you can into your knee.

Then run. Your goal was not to cause damage to the predator per se, but to cause enough damage to them to incapacitate them long enough for you to get the fuck out of there.

There are some people who would say that if you are a guy, this is not "fighting fair." In my personal opinion, when one is faced with a predator who means to do you harm, there are no "rules" regarding how you fight such a person off. You use any and all means necessary, no matter how "dirty," "unmanly," or "cowardly." The true dirty, unmanly coward is the predator. Defending yourself from such vile filth is never dishonorable. Anyone who says otherwise does not understand the damage such a predator can cause, and needs to shut the fuck up.

[Mytical]

I agree wholeheartedly about the 'not worrying about fighting fair' thing Jester. Throw dirt in the eyes, attack the 'private areas', scratch the eyes out. They don't plan on 'fighting fair' and neither should the possible victim.