A letter I wrote to my father

[Sliceanddice]

Word for word. Except for my name. I changed that

Dad,
The last time I took you to the hospital cause you over dosed I gave you a strict set of choices: Either you actively work with your insurance, doctor and your bishop to find a long term or assisted living facility for you to move to for the care and attention you needed or you lose me, any support, attention, care, or help I could offer. At the time you agreed but after your last hospital visit you made it clear, you have no intention of fulling your agreement. As such you have lost my support.

No longer will I take you shopping, or to doctors appointments.
No longer will will take care of you in anyway.

You pay insurance and as such you will continue to be able to use a vehicle as you are able ot use one, wither it be by medical allowance or by financial (yes that means you have to pay for your own gas), provided you give enough warning. That means no more expecting us to drop everything so you can do something. Should you decide that's not good enough for you and you decide to cease paying insurance I will begin the actions to sell the truck and happy relieve you of that responsibility. If you are unable to drive yourself to doctors appointments (be it from medical or financial reasons) remember you can always look into transportation provided by your insurance.

And remember you pay for my cellphone not cause your a kind and great man, but because you owe me thousands of dollars, of which you have probably only paid back 900 dollars at most of due to your continued 'borrowing' of money.

If you are not happy with this there is one simple solution. You begin to actively seek the long term care you agreed to seek out, and provide proof that you are. And no your word is not proof.

Slicey

What do you all think ^_^

[Lyse]

It may sound a bit harsh, but at a certain point you have to draw a line. You have made it clear where that line is. And frankly, the last part spells out what is needed to solve the issue.

[Lachrymose]

Sounds well thought out to me. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Although, I'd probably count on having to pay for your own phone.

[Sliceanddice]

if he can't afford to cancel it and if he does he'll have to pay me money each month and since im incharge of some of his money he couldn't even try to get out of it.

[Raveni]

IMO, if you are going to cut your ties, you need to cut them totally. If your father is competent enough to search for his own long-term care, then he should be given control of his money so that you can walk away.

The cost of your cell phone is well worth being rid of that, and maybe being totally cut off will help him take control and do what he needs to do.

[Amina516]

I have to agree with the oabove. Get the phone and truck issues settled and get out of his life, if thats what you want.

IDK the circumstances behind this, but it sounds like youre fed up and he's not trying to help himself. You do what you have to. Good Luck!

[MoonCat]

It's called Tough Love. And you have to look out for yourself. You can't make him get treatment...he can only do that himself. So I think you're doing the right thing, because you have to protect your own health and peace of mind.

[RootedPhoenix]

*offers comfort and hugs*

Do what you think is best. Know that we're here for you.

[Sliceanddice]

the reason I originally demanded he look into long term care was a simple one:
One moment i would be treated like his mother, the next his nurse and the next a idiot child.
Finally was being yelled at by a guy obviously doped out of his mind 4o something year old man without his glasses and pants (and i mean with out his pants my eyes stayed up the whole time) peeing himself and screaming that he can't pee saying 'you can't make me go back. you can't! I wont let you. I'll kill myself first' when i told him he over dosed.

I can't be his caregiver and his child. Its too much.
Im willing to be his child only.