"evil" things you do at work

[Legacy_of_Torment]

When I get a sucktomer who's being particularly grouchy with me, I deliberately give them the worst seats I can find in the theatre. Bonus points if a family with noisy children are nearby >

[Lace Neil Singer]

I have changing the till roll slowly down to a fine art. XD I've also stuck my closing sign up if I see a famous SC approaching.

[CoffeeMonkey]

We used to hide most of the napkins and most of the raw sugar packets when we saw one customer on his way in. (Or his wife.) Not because he was a huge SC (he was mostly ok; sometimes a pain,) but because he would take both by the handful and fill his pockets.

Things like ringing up a drink exactly how they ordered it, instead of ringing the foo-foo* drink that contained all the same stuff but was cheaper.

*When I someday start my own business, the loaded with syrup, chocolate, and candy monstrosities are going on the menu as "Foo Foo" drinks. It will be grand.

[drjonah]

Generally if a customer is polite and asks me ahead of time if I can break a $50 or $100 for their small order, I'll oblige (unless it's the first hour we're open then we definitely can't). But when I get an SC who just whips a $50 or $100 at me (generally followed by a smirk and a chuckle "that's all I have HAW HAW HAW"), I'll sloooooooooooowly crouch down to the safe while grimacing in pain. I'll then take my time looking through the safe trying to break it and then while I'm getting back up, start screaming in pain.

For the record, I DO have bad knees and a bad back but 90% of the time I can crouch down and get back up fairly easily.

[AccountingDrone]

If a couple is having too much PDA in front of me, I'll give them the worst room (The haunted one). Major pet peeve of mine. Save it until you get there!
Yeah Im evilllll

Haunted? Now this sounds interesting =)

Though I have no objection to being in a room next to the ice machine or elevator unlike some sucktomers=)

[Dreamstalker]

If a known coupon scammer comes through SCO (usually they try to fast-talk people and say they're in a hurry so just 'put them all through, you can do that for me can't you?'), I will triple-check the size/brand/type of items even if I know a coupon is good. If I'm feeling particularly snarky (and I know ASM is not running the service desk) I'll send them over to the desk with the ones that didn't work so they can be denied twice.

Any SC who tells me to 'just change the price, I know it's right!', I will take as long as I can to price-check; if I see that they found a really old sale tag I will rip it down so when they inevitably buttonhole a shift lead to give them what they want they have no proof (not that they ever do anyway, but...).

[Food Lady]

I'm being the slowest cashier ever today because I'm in pain and also because people are ignoring me.

[WishfulSpirit]

If yr too stupid to sign up for a free reward program that gets you shit tones of benefits (thus messing up my numbers) I will forget to hand u the coupons that print with the receipt. Enjoy NOT getting points and paying full price.

[Bardmaiden]

If a SC was being rude and gave me a £20 for a 90p item, I would apologise and say I was running low on change. (I usually was because of people like them who had plenty of change, yes I can see it when you open your purse/wallet to give me the note!)

They would say they had nothing else and I would give them their change in as many coins as I could get away with

My B/f had this happen the other day and the guy did have plenty of change but insisted on paying for a tiny amount with a big note and he (My b/f) didn't have any notes to give him for change. So the guy ended up with handfuls of coin change and was wondering where to put it!

[KellyHabersham]

Just thought of a few more "evil" things I sometimes do.......if there's a mom in the kid's room who's letting her kid(s) make a mess, she's talking on a cell phone, and I have to tidy things up, I'll be extra noisy with putting the blocks and magnets away.

[Seanette]

Sometimes I do things to thwart sucktomers. I've of the old coffee drinkers steals soda. He is disabled, but that doesn't give him the right. You want a coffee and soda, you pay for both. He knows. I caught him years ago and he got angry. Now I'm a challenge to him and his lady friend. Today I "forgot" to unlock the soda machine. If anyone orders I'll apologize and turn it on. Let's see what happens.
Anything special you all do?

Did anything entertaining happen as a result of this?

[Chazzie]

If you insist on telling me "I prefer my coffee fresh" in a condescending tone, you will get the least fresh pot. Because oddly enough, most of my customers prefer fresh coffee.

[prjkt]

if someone dumps a pile of change on to the counter to pay, even if I know it's exact, I'll pick it up one coin at a time.
money dumped on the counter, change gets returned to the same spot, ignoring the open hand waiting.

Idiot questions/statements get turned around - I have a knack for telling a customer they've been an idiot, without them actually realising it

[Dreamstalker]

If you come up to my register blathering on a cell phone and completely ignore my presence when I ask if you have a store card, if you fail to produce it I won't press the issue and won't put one in. If you notice after the receipt prints and start bitching about "you didn't ask for my card!", I'm calling you out for being an inconsiderate jerk. I asked three times and you didn't say anything. See that line at the desk? Go there if you want the money back...oh, you're in too much of a hurry? Fine by me.

A full cart in my express register: I will close down to deal with your ass, and if someone asks "are you closed?" I will say yes "because of this customer who doesn't understand 12 or less". If you throw something across the scanner so it double-scans I'm ignoring it if you do.

Paying for that muffin and paper with a 100 when I can see damn well you have smaller bills? Enjoy your pile of fives and ones.

[LesserSouthernFroglet]

Being a data cruncher, I find the best way of being evil is to give the requesting (internal) customer exactly what they ask for.

Usually I can read between the lines enough to know that it's not what they actually need...