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  • #1

    Random SC Thought Thread

    I made this before but I think it was closed or archived. Stuff that doesn't need a whole post goes here.

    No, I'm not calling our employee on YOUR past due account. I specifically asked if she were in Sales because I know this account does not have an account manager. That's a special designation I would see on my screen, highlighted. Your sales rep. can't even get into my billing system. Go ahead and complain but I'm not giving you my last name. You finally gave me your Accounts Payable person's info. when you could have done so in the first place. I can understand questioning the balance but don't argue with me about who to contact. I'm Collections and I'm the next-to-final say on this account, to be perfectly frank.
    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth Food Lady View Post
    Go ahead and complain but I'm not giving you my last name.
    Argh, I hate those. "What's your name?! No, your whole name!!!" My first name is uncommon but not particularly rare, my last name is an alternate spelling of a nationwide department store chain, pretty rare in my area but not in, say, West Virginia... but together, my name is practically unique. Worldwide. No, you WILL NOT be getting my last name. (I finally found another "Deserted Lastname", a teen in England, but before a few years ago, any search on my name (spelled correctly, in quotes) would ONLY return info on ME and NOBODY ELSE.)

    When I was driving for Big Green Cab Co, my ID badge only showed "Deserted", but at Yeller Cab? Full name. Uh, no. I covered my last name with a few layers of tape. I didn't care if it looked tacky. (Still don't, actually.) Modern driver/delivery apps only show my first name to the customer, and I'm fiiiiiine with that. (And why would a customer need my last name anyway?)
    </rant>

    Yeah, this one kinda pushes my buttons. I can only remember someone demanding my last name once, to which I essentially told them to get stuffed. Nowadays, I think that any customer asking for my full name would get the Fletch response: "Deserted D. Deserted."
    Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
    OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
    she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
    Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- Jester

    Comment

    • #3
      No, I can't help you because I am not clocked in. [Coworker] two feet away can. Yes, I know I'm 'closer' but I still can't help you. Are you explaining/paying my OT? Didn't think so.
      "I am quite confident that I do exist."
      "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

      Comment

      • #4
        "What's your name?! No, your whole name!!!"

        "My name is 'Eric'...My full name? You may call me 'Eric, Sir.'"
        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

        Comment

        • #5
          Oh, so many times... I got asked for my "employee number" often as well, to which I alternated between trying to explain that the company didn't use such an archaic system, to simply replying "I am not a number, I am a free man!"

          One customer was so adamant they'd get me in trouble for not giving out my non-existent number, it was ridiculous. I even pointed out that I look very distinctive, and I was at that point the only person doing my job on that site, so all they needed to do was give my position or description and they'd know who I was. Nope, must have the number!
          Last edited by RealUnimportant; 04-13-2021, 02:26 PM.
          This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
          I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

          Comment

          • #6
            When asked for an employee number, try this:

            My number is 755677094803787665465477098-098

            Or perhaps: I am number 6.
            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
              ... My number is 755677094803787665465477098-098 ...
              And you need to rattle it off like an auctioneer!
              I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
              Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
              Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

              Comment

              • #8
                And on every rapid-fire repeat, make sure you change at least ONE number, so they'll play hell ever getting any solid number down. Deny any changes, real or imagined.

                Comment

                • #9
                  My employee number?

                  The imaginary number -1=i2=the square root of -1,the square root of -1 where this is a fallacy where the square root of -1 -1= the square root of 1 3 cubed to pi.

                  Was there a problem with that sir?
                  The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    I used to have a bunch of fake name tags; during my previous stint at my workplace someone gave me a few blank tags and I got my paws on the label printer for a fateful 2 minutes. Unfortunately, I think I got rid of them when I left 4 years ago--nobody thought I'd end up back here. Time to "lose my nametag" again so I can get another one...
                    "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                    "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Yes, it's weird that Bullseye processed your check twice, 2 months apart. No, it's not our (the bank's) responsibility to refund you that money. Call Bullseye, FFS. No, it's not our problem that they made you wait on hold half an hour before you could talk to a person. Stop calling us "bad guy #2." (Bullseye was "bad guy #1" to this SC.)

                      Our Branch Manager ended up refunding this guy over $50, even though it wasn't our fault. We even tried to charge it back through the clearing system, but we were told it was too long after the item cleared, even though it had been less than a month.
                      "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                      -Mira Furlan

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Telling you not to park there as you get out of the car is NOT "Being a dick"

                        "Being a dick" would be letting you park, walk past me, walk 2 blocks away and then, when I knew there was no chance you'd catch me, towing the car anyway and charging you $120 for it and whatever ancillary costs you'd accrue taking an Uber on top of it all to get to the garage... SAVING you over a hundred dollary-doos because I was feeling magnanimous and issued a verbal warning is the furthest thing from "Being a dick" I can imagine, actually... but fine, have it your way.

                        No warnings next time and I'm sure you'll be upset you got towed "with no warning at all", won't you?


                        And now you know why, when there is no path to salvation, no "right" answer, nothing a person can do that WON'T result in some kind of penalty? Well, people just go with what makes them the most money.....
                        - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                          When asked for an employee number, try this:
                          Permit me to suggest:

                          "One. My number is one. Her number is one. His number is one. We are all one.


                          "J̶̡̘̭̹̟̲̯̒̾̈̈́͋̊̚͜ö̴̩̜̥̪̭͙̖̬̜̪́̇̈́̅̇̚i̴̢̖͎̒̐̔n̴ ̡̪͙̑ ̵̡̛̛̞̞̺͙̊͂͊̆̄̐ų̴̧̼͎͙̮̼̝͎͋̌̇͘s̷͙̐̌̓͛̈́̄͌͆͑̌.̴͗͆͗̈́̀̔ ̟̱̯̬͓͇̈́͋̀ ̵̹̍̂͝͝B̷͙̫̱̺̙̟̯̼͔͊̏̓̕͝ȩ̴̝͍̦̠̞͎͎͎̃͜c̷̙͎͎͒̄̋ͅó̵̃̀̈́ ̠͚̬͕̗̬̙̘͙m̸̡̦̙̌̔͗̂ḙ̸͈̼̙̼̙̪̲͂ ̶̯̱͆͗ǫ̷̼̩͉̲̝̝̳̅̇ͅņ̶̧̩̯̯͔̣͒̏̍̇͛͋̔̈́͝ͅe̶̪̳̲̽̉͆ ̶̨̫̊͋̑̓w̶̲̎̈́͂͌͊͗͝į̵̫̺̪̝͇͋̌͆̓̀̚͜ţ̶̯̻͓͚̾h̶̞͖͚̝͆́̄͑ ̢̧̻̭̬̹ ̸̨̠̼̳̣͇̫̗̮̥̔̋̆͋͛̈́͝ù̶̧̢̟̪͎̙̤̯͕͇̏͝s̷̢̖̻̙̬͒̎̋̂͘.̵̏̉̔ ̮̦̺͒̾̔̍̔̃͛"



                          No warnings next time and I'm sure you'll be upset you got towed "with no warning at all", won't you?
                          Did she, perchance, end up getting towed?


                          PS: #drumbeats
                          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth EricKei View Post
                            Permit me to suggest:

                            "One. My number is one. Her number is one. His number is one. We are all one.


                            PS: #drumbeats
                            I am NOT a number! I am a subhuman being!"
                            - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Ugh, this customer expects me to be her phone book and google. She's retired from the bank, and she's the MOST entitled customer we have.

                              You need the number for the high school? Why can't you google it yourself? Yes, you're an old fart, but google isn't hard. Here's the number from the high school's website. That's the one you had? Then why are you asking me? Oh, you get stuck in the school's phone system? Tough cookies. Is there a specific person you want to talk to? No, just someone in the garage because he did some work on your house a few years back. No name, even.

                              Obviously, I didn't say any of the negative comments out loud. Gawd, she's so annoying.
                              "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                              -Mira Furlan

                              Comment

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