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  #11  
Old 12-09-2019, 07:47 AM
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Wonderful. Despite what pill pusher think, behavior modification is the best and longest lasting method for the child's self control
This. While there are some conditions where medication is necessary in addition to therapy (depression, schizophrenia or bi-polar, for example) in others it should be used more a stop-gap measure to bring someone back on an even keel before going into therapy learn how to deal with the day-to-day issues that might crop up.

There are, of course, exceptions to every rule; it very much depends on the patient and their needs.
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  #12  
Old 12-09-2019, 01:25 PM
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Jester, I've lived through it twice. My brother was originally diagnosed as retarded in the mid 70's because the definition of autism was so narrow. My son is aspie and is now a 17 year old honor student taking college classes in his senior year of HS.
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  #13  
Old 12-21-2019, 10:21 PM
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Jester, I've lived through it twice. My brother was originally diagnosed as retarded in the mid 70's because the definition of autism was so narrow. My son is aspie and is now a 17 year old honor student taking college classes in his senior year of HS.
I was called retarded in the 1970s too, and I'm sure I'm autistic, although I didn't get diagnosed back then cause it WAS the 1970s. I don't know how to get diagnosed now to be honest, I don't know where to start. But it's the reason I describe some things or situations as retarded (not people) cause I had to deal with it my whole childhood, although people quake in their shoes if you use that word now.
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  #14  
Old 12-22-2019, 11:23 AM
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I don't know how to get diagnosed now to be honest, I don't know where to start.
If you are genuinely interested, check out the local community counseling service (or words to that effect), or ask the info desk at the local hospital if they know of clinics/professionals you could consult with. Testing services are very much out there, and my guess would be that they're much more sophisticated and useful than they were back in the 70's so maybe the wait was not truly a bad thing.

Only caveat is: In the US, at least, don't expect insurance (private or Medi-whatever) to pay for it. However, you should, of course, ask.
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  #15  
Old 12-22-2019, 08:56 PM
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Another point to remember is that the spectrum covers a broad continuum from full disability to "subclinical" folks (no disability, so no diagnosis, but they share the classic quirks and personality features at non-disabling levels).

Agreed, routine is important. Touchstone moments of ritual through the day can help deal with the chaos of ordinary life.

Also: As with other disabilities, when spectrumites learn to function in normal society, they do so mostly through "compensations" -- various internal and/or external techniques for coping or bridging a gap in their abilities. One thing all those compensations have in common is, they cost energy, which means that a spectrumite is also a "spooner", with an extra fatigue gauge to watch. (If you haven't seen the "spoon theory" article, go google it.)

So social or sensory-overload situations are going to use up spoons, leaving him less resilient for later in the day. And you really want to avoid having him run out completely in public, because when the energy runs out, so do the compensations, and decompensation isn't pretty.

  #16  
Old 12-23-2019, 02:27 AM
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Seconded on Spoon Theory. When I first saw that, I was like, "This explains so damn much!"

Alternatively, if you're a D&D player, substitute "spell slots" for spoons. Allows for variable-sized 'spoons,' while still assuming you have a hard limit on how many you can use every day (e.g. a minor, simple, routine task might use a teaspoon or level 1 spell slot, while something major and mentally taxing might use a soup ladle or a level 5 spell slot)
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  #17  
Old 12-23-2019, 03:08 AM
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Thanks all! Like I said, sticking to routine is not really an issue, he's actually pretty adaptable. I am actually the person in the family who gets upset when my plans have to change. His teacher tells me he is engaging with other kids more, which is great. Today he went up and initiated s conversation with my stepdad, which is unusual. I asked again of he would be interested in martial arts, and he is expressing interest now, so hopefully we can get him into that and he'll enjoy it. Meltdowns aren't really an issue either as a lot of his frustration seems to be internalized. He can express frustration but takes it out on himself (why can't I do this, etc).

Counselor is working now on getting him to recognize his feelings in the moment, and connect things that have happened before with his he felt about them (by journaling). We're just encouraging, praising, and asking him to explain how he feels. He's intelligent, articulate and unusually self-aware, which helps.

After his counselor is pleased with his progress on these issues, I plan to ask her how we help him with his time management...it shouldn't take anyone 30 minutes to floss and brush their teeth!

  #18  
Old 12-23-2019, 04:32 AM
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Yup, all of that sounds good. Re: brushing/flossing, there might be some procrastination in there just because it is a sensory hit even if it's not "painful"..

  #19  
Old 12-23-2019, 12:20 PM
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Good point! I never thought of that. I'll bring it up her. He refused to wear jeans because he hates the way they feel, so msaybe that's it.

  #20  
Old 12-23-2019, 05:45 PM
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Quoth AnaKhouri View Post
Good point! I never thought of that. I'll bring it up her. He refused to wear jeans because he hates the way they feel, so msaybe that's it.
I bet it is. I have sensory issues with clothes, and actually hate jeans for the same reason. I also can't stand anything really tight, and tend to favor elastic waisted soft cloth type pants, or shorts for the most part since I literally get too hot and sweaty at the drop of a hat. Same with shoes....I generally prefer to have no shoes on but at work I have very comfortable shoes, that is essential. I don't wear makeup for the same reason, it feels awful.

As for the spoons theory, yes I deal with that every day and often don't have the spoons to deal with things. Other days are better but I can generally manage one major thing a day, on work days work is it.

I will try to look into the local counseling possibilities, but that will take spoons that I just don't have at the moment!
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