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I need a disguise ... (long)
  #1  
Old 04-29-2019, 02:31 AM
Pixelated Pixelated is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Bookholm
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Default I need a disguise ... (long)

... for my next shift.

Cast:
Moi
Customer (C)
Customer's Husband (CH)

Customers were paying for something and we were chatting. Note: both had accents so I was having to listen a little more closely than normal to be sure of what they were saying.

Then ... came the chatwars.

C: "YAKKITY-YAKKITY-YAKKITY-YAKK-YAKKK"

CH: "YAKKITY-YAKKITY-YAKKITY-YAKK-YAKKK"

This went on for several minutes and I was getting whiplash from glancing from one to the other to acknowledge their comments. While at the same time ringing up their purchases.

Then ... it got worse.

C & CH simultaneously: "YAKKITY-YAKKITY-YAKKITY-YAKK-YAKKK."



Then C says: "Oh, I was bored today, so I decided to go shopping!"

Me: "Oh, that sounds like me, although when I do that I usually end up at the bookstore."

C & CH: "Oh, you like to read! What do you like to read?"

My mind went blank. All I could think of, off the top of my head, was:

Me: "Well, I bought Bob Woodward's book Fear, the one about Trump's presidency ..."

CH: "Oh, you're POLITICAL!"

Me: *wonders if somebody is going to kick in her door at 3 a.m.*

Me: "Well, I also like mysteries set in the past ..."

C: "Oh, we have lots of books we're trying to get rid of! Give me your phone number and I'll call you about them!"

Me: "Er ... um ..." Now, I had no feelings of fear about this couple ... I very much doubted they were with the white slave trade, and if they were, and they were attempting to recruit a 63-year-old woman who absolutely does NOT look like Morgan Fairchild or Susan Sarandon, then the white slave trade is in serious trouble.

But I couldn't think of any way to say "Sorry, I don't want to give people I don't know my phone number." (I hate talking on the phone, which is certainly part of it.)

Luckily the husband came to my rescue and pooh-poohed the idea of my giving them my phone number. Then they went back and forth on THAT for a couple of minutes, before one of them asked when I would be in next. I checked my schedule and told them Wednesday from 5-10 p.m.

So ... they are either, gods help me, going to show up with a massive list that I will have to go over while they stand there, or with a box (or more than one box) of books which they will beamingly dump at my register, thus fencing me in completely for the entirety of my shift, in their attempts to give me lots of reading material.

Which I need like I need another 20 pounds.

Retail ... ya don't get paid much but you sure do meet some interesting people.
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  #2  
Old 05-07-2019, 05:53 PM
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marlovino marlovino is offline
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Here, wear these:





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Last edited by marlovino; 05-07-2019 at 05:57 PM.
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  #3  
Old 05-07-2019, 09:31 PM
Pixelated Pixelated is offline
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I'll print it off and keep it with me ...

Have neither heard from nor seen them since, so I'm crossing my fingers ... much as I love to read, the absolute LAST thing I need right now is more books!
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Old 05-07-2019, 10:44 PM
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Ironclad Alibi Ironclad Alibi is offline
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Quote:
Quoth Pixelated View Post
Have neither heard from nor seen them since, so I'm crossing my fingers ... much as I love to read, the absolute LAST thing I need right now is more books!
You could build a nice fort with enough books.
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Old 05-08-2019, 01:00 AM
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Valentinian Valentinian is offline
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Quote:
Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
You could build a nice fort with enough books.
Or insulate your home!
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  #6  
Old 05-08-2019, 07:50 AM
Buzzard Buzzard is offline
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Or.... https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2019/05/05

They'll never see it coming.
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  #7  
Old 05-09-2019, 03:05 AM
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morgana morgana is offline
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Now that's a perfectly splendid idea!
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