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Because YOU Demanded It: Tales From My Personal Retail Hell...

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  • Because YOU Demanded It: Tales From My Personal Retail Hell...

    It has come to my attention, by way of some CSers that have become friends off the boards, that I don't post my stories nearly often enough.

    Part of that is due to my move to working in mattress stores 7 years ago. This job is FAR less stressful than the others I've worked, and on the whole, I deal with a LOT less asshats than I used to!

    But since some have asked, I'm dredging up old memories today.

    Setting the Way Way Back Machine for roughly 15 years ago...

    {Insert time travel sound FX here}

    The year is 1998, and your fellow retail wage slave Jack is gainfully employed at a Super Crown bookstore. Yes, good old Crown Books, the company that brought discounted books to the masses many years BEFORE the gigantic interweb retailer that associates itself with Greco-Roman mythology!

    Some of the shenanigans we would see included...

    --Thieves that would go to the computer books section, grab the most expensive tomes on the shelves (hardbound things the size of an unabridged dictionary that would cost $80-100 each), drop them into their Bags of Holding, then vamoose... only to return later and insist that they "lost their receipt" but HAD to have a return for cash! This was, of course, against company policy, as posted on a HUGE sign in plain view right behind our cashwrap area. No Receipt, No Return for You! AT BEST you were supposed to get an exchange or store credit. And get this... our District Manager would MAKE our Store Manager take the clearly fraudulent return without a receipt, causing the company to pay for the same book AT LEAST twice!

    --One woman that I clearly remember came in with a STACK of VERY worn textbooks, very heavily used, heavy creasing on the spines, dirt on the pages, scuffs, chips, etc on the covers. In no way were they in anything LIKE resellable condition. She produced a receipt from A YEAR AND A HALF EARLIER and wanted a return for her money back. AFTER USING THE TEXT BOOKS FOR 18 MONTHS!!!! And with a GINORMOUS sign on the wall right behind us stating no returns after 30 days! And yet, our frakwit of a DM was called by the Store Mgr, and INSISTED that he take the return to keep the "customer" (and I use that term very loosely) happy!

    --Then there was the guy that would come in first thing after we opened and go into our public rest room, with the door propped wide open (we used to clean the rest rooms right before we opened and leave the doors propped open so the wet floor would dry), whip it out of his pants, and start peeing WITH THE DOOR STILL OPEN for all to see! I believe after several incidents, he was eventually escorted out by the local constabulary and banned from the store for indecent exposure.

    Stuff like the first 2 happened ALL THE TIME. And yet, I'll bet there's STILL people that wonder why Crown Books went out of business.


    So, that's just a tiny taste of my many years in Retail Hell. At this point, I've done it all, I've seen it all, I've heard it all... I just can't remember it all.
    Last edited by Jack T. Chance; 07-30-2013, 11:28 PM.
    "Eventually one outgrows the fairy tales of childhood, belief in Santa and the Easter Bunny, and believing that SCs are even capable of imagining themselves in our position."
    --StanFlouride

  • #2
    Apparently, what you described was endemic to the whole chain. I used to get similar stories from a coworker who worked at Crown part time.
    "Sigh, I'm going to Hell.....but I'm going with a smile on my face." -- Gravekeeper

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    • #3
      Quoth Mike Taylor View Post
      Apparently, what you described was endemic to the whole chain. I used to get similar stories from a coworker who worked at Crown part time.
      Oh, without a doubt. When I worked there, the company that is now apparently the largest retailer in the WORLD in terms of sales, Amazon.Com, was just starting to make a name for itself and was already stealing sales from us and other brick & mortar stores. By comparison, our website was only used as a tool to drive people into the stores. You could not purchase online from us. HUGE tactical error that Crown never recovered from!

      Compounding the problem further, they tried to compete with Barnes & Noble and Borders, without any CLUE on the part of Management as to what made those companies successful in the first place. They thought they were successful because of their large "million-dollar stores", with bookshelves made of real wood and comfy armchairs, when in reality, what made Borders and B&N successful was good, old-fashioned SELECTION and CUSTOMER SERVICE!

      When I wanted to order a small press book, I could
      NOT order it at work, as we could only get books from TWO book distributors. Meanwhile, Borders could order me any book I wanted directly from the book's publisher! I lost count of the number of times I had to send a customer to a competitor because we couldn't special order the book they wanted. Not surprisingly, Crown's attempts to stay competitive failed miserably.
      Last edited by Jack T. Chance; 07-31-2013, 01:08 AM.
      "Eventually one outgrows the fairy tales of childhood, belief in Santa and the Easter Bunny, and believing that SCs are even capable of imagining themselves in our position."
      --StanFlouride

      Comment


      • #4
        On Textbook Lady -- Why in Hell would you WANT to keep a customer like that?! O_o
        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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        • #5
          ^ Yeah. And, to sum up the post, I've never even heard of Crown. So sad.
          "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Food Lady View Post
            ^ Yeah. And, to sum up the post, I've never even heard of Crown. So sad.
            Crown Books started here in the Mid-Atlantic Region, they were originally part of a large, family-owned corporation called the Dart Group. It included Dart Drug, Crown Books, Trak Auto (the last part of the company to go under) and maybe one or two others. They were huge here in the '80s and '90s. I STILL remember their ad slogan... "If you paid full price, you didn't buy it at Crown Books."

            But outside the Mid-Atlantic, I haven't a clue how well known they were.
            "Eventually one outgrows the fairy tales of childhood, belief in Santa and the Easter Bunny, and believing that SCs are even capable of imagining themselves in our position."
            --StanFlouride

            Comment


            • #7
              Ah, the Haft Group. I live in northern VA and that takes me back...

              Used to spend a fair bit of time (and money) at Crown and Trak Auto, really miss the latter.

              Comment


              • #8
                I live in the Mid Atlantic are, and while I've shopped at Trak Auto, and I've heard of Dart Drug, I've never even heard of Crown Books, which might tell you something because in the 80's and 90's I had enough disposable income that I was buying hundreds of dollars in books at a time.

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                • #9
                  Never even heard of them, alas, and given your dimwit of a DM (and, apparently, his ilk throughout the chain), I'm not surprised.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Jack T. Chance View Post
                    They were huge here in the '80s and '90s. I STILL remember their ad slogan... "If you paid full price, you didn't buy it at Crown Books."
                    I remember that, from their commercials.
                    Quoth Jack T. Chance View Post
                    But outside the Mid-Atlantic, I haven't a clue how well known they were.
                    Quite a few throughout Chicagoland.
                    I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                    Who is John Galt?
                    -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                    • #11
                      Ohh, the Dart Group. I remember it collapsed for a number of reasons, one of which was the founder's son playing house with dad's trophy wife.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Yeah; Herbert Haft, who founded the Dart Group (and probably could have taught Donald Trump a thing or two about ridiculous hair; he was famous in the DC Area for his brilliant-white Marge-Simpson-style 'do) pretty much singlehandedly invented discount retailing with the Dart Drug chain. While it seems obvious today, the idea of stores selling name brand merchandise at below the list price all the time (vs. just during sales) was unheard of until Dart came around. It wasn't done because it's hard to do correctly; you need to drop prices enough to attract customers, but not so much you hit your profits substantially. Worrying about proper pricing strategies is simply something retailers didn't have to worry about before outside of their house brands.

                        However, because of a poorly-done succession plan, a pi$$ing contest between Herbert and his sons, and his ex-wife, and some poor business decisions, the Dart group (Crown Books, Trak Auto, and Shoppers Food Warehouse (the only one of his chains still in business), along with a LOT of very valuable Real Estate crumbled.

                        A very interesting man who met a sad end. By his death, his retail empire was gone and he was reduced to repeatedly touring his few remaining Real Estate holdings.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                          I remember that, from their commercials.
                          Quite a few throughout Chicagoland.
                          Yep, the one I used to visit was just off of North Avenue and Clybourn, not far from the Goose Island Brewpub and Sam's Wine & Spirits.
                          "Sigh, I'm going to Hell.....but I'm going with a smile on my face." -- Gravekeeper

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Jack T. Chance View Post
                            Crown Books started here in the Mid-Atlantic Region, they were originally part of a large, family-owned corporation called the Dart Group. It included Dart Drug, Crown Books, Trak Auto (the last part of the company to go under) and maybe one or two others. They were huge here in the '80s and '90s. I STILL remember their ad slogan... "If you paid full price, you didn't buy it at Crown Books."

                            But outside the Mid-Atlantic, I haven't a clue how well known they were.
                            There were several Crown's in the San Diego area throughout the early 90s. When I was a kid we always went to the one in Linda Vista/clairemont next to a Longs Drugs.

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                            • #15
                              Some Crown Books were here in the SF Bay Area. The one I went to was near a Costco, so two birds with one drive.
                              Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                              HR believes the first person in the door
                              Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                              Document everything
                              CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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