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How's the hamster?

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  • How's the hamster?

    Because I imagine it's a little tired out trying to power the logical jumps and shortcuts and hoops your brain had to go through to reach this conclusion.

    So, your bill arrives at the beginning of the month. That's not unusual. That happens every month. Not always on-the-dot, but pretty close to around the same time, like a period (sorry, guys Xp.)

    Along with your bill, you find another bill. It is addressed to a different person, with a different address and phone number, but who has a last name close to yours.

    Do you:

    A: Throw it away, assuming it is not for you
    B: Call us to let us know you got the wrong bill
    C: Call us, enraged that you have been asked to pay a stranger's bill?

    We all know it was C.

    Me: [opening spiel]
    Her: Hi. I got a bill in the mail.
    Me: Alright.
    Her: ...
    Me: ... Do you want to pay it?
    Her: No. I got another bill in the mail. It was addressed to a Mr. E. I don't know a Mr. E. We are not neighbors, we are not related, I have never even heard of him before-

    Sensing a snowball of rage rolling down a hill, quickly picking up RAEG and spiraling out of control, sure to land into me and knock me and my bowling-pin-brethren down, I exclaimed, vaguely exasperated (forgive me, I'm a rookie, and I have not yet learned how to disguise my emotions)

    Me: I'm sure it was a mistake!
    Her: Oh.
    Me: So let me hand you over to the accountant. She handles our billing, and was actually the one who stuffed the bills. I watched her.
    Her: Okay.

    I put her on hold.

    Me: Sorry to do this to ya, Female S. She got someone else's bill, and she's kinda cranky.

    FS takes the phone.

    She immediately launches into a tirade about being expected to pay a stranger's bill. After a moment, FS speaks.

    FS: Does it have your address on it?
    Her: Let me look. No, it doesn't.
    FS: Then you aren't expected to pay it. I probably just accidentally stuffed it into the envelope.
    Her: Well don't expect me to pay the postage to mail it back.
    FS: That isn't a problem. I can just mail him a new one. Just throw it away.

    She hangs up. Then FS goes: "I should have asked her to pay her account. She's overdue."

    Seriously, how do you jump from:

    This isn't my bill to "HOW DARE THEY EXPECT ME TO PAY THIS?!"

    If we stuck a camera in your brain, we could probably create a new event for the olympics. Brain-hamster gymnastic aerobics.

  • #2
    I bet she wonders why she keeps getting mail in her box addressed to this mysterious "Resident" character.
    Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
    Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
    Fiancee: What?!
    Me: Nevermind.

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    • #3
      Quoth thehuckster
      I bet she wonders why she keeps getting mail in her box addressed to this mysterious "Resident" character.
      Or current occupant

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      • #4
        IDIOT.


        That is all.
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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