Five Days Of Suck Part 3: Photo Phollies (gross, long)

[ralerin]

Part 1 here, part 2 there.

I've come to terms that it is going to be a week full of suck, shit, piss, blood and lots and lots of tears on my part.

I am just one bad knife cut away from fulfilling yesterday's statement. I had shit today, tears yesterday, piss on Saturday and suck all around.

*

Photo Phollies; Or, How Not To Impress Your High School Gym Teacher

Gym teacher ordered 11 8x10" photos yesterday night and paid for them. Our 8x10 printer decided it wanted to malfunction for no good reason. Literally. It had ribbon, it had paper, it was turned on, it was set in the right spot on the photo lab, we pleaded with it, we swore at it, we offered it the souls of freshly killed stupid customers.... Gym teacher was not impressed because "My son is leaving for NYC in 15 minutes to get his big break on Broadway!11!1eleventy!11!!" SM ended up having to refund her the money and poor son is going to have to print his glamour shots in NYC and pay the $10 trillion sales tax. Oh fricken well.

Pounds Of Pennies, Gallons Of Mouthwash, Round 2

S3 kept paging and paging and paging for me to ring though I was on my lunch. I clocked in a few minutes early to see Mouthwash Lady (Minty Fresh I shall dub her) once again, dumping out piles of pennies covered in (pubic) hair, tobacco and strands of blonde hair. She was buying more mouthwash, a bigger bottle this time. She pushed 4 dimes and a small pile of pennies at S3. S3 takes no shit from anyone.

"Really? You're not getting this. A, you're already toasted, and B, that's not enough. Pay me more or get the hell out."

Minty Fresh dumped the pennies back into her purse, gave S3 the stink eye and left.

Unfortunately, everyone else seems to have picked up her method of paying. I had never been so nickled and dimed this week. People cannot be broke already, payday was Friday, foodstamp was yesterday and government checks were last week. Cannot fricken believe it.

"He's So Swine-ish I'm Surprised He Hasn't Grown A Snout And A Tail Already."

One customer (henceforth known as God's Gift To Swine or GGTS) comes in and will constantly flirt with all of us women cashiers. Young, old, busy, not, he will lean waaaaaay over your register and get into your personal space. GGTS is pushing the later end of 50 (fuck pushing, he's leaning on it). "Listen. Hey baby how you doin' are we goin' to dinner come on you know you want me you're in the mood"

"Sorry, not in THAT mood. Bye."

"HAHAHAHA baby you so funny come on baby you so nice you owe me dinner my girlfriend is in Florida/my girlfriend is dead rest her soul (changes week to week) but baby you're the one for me come on"

"Bye!"

"Hey listen baby, Pussy loving *sucks his lips* come on you know you want it I take care of all my girls"

"OUT".

*fucks off*

S3 will run and hide from him when he's there. Me? I just let him yammer on about everything, since if you've read my thread about "Studmuffin Is A Horny Creep" in CoC, you'll know that store manager will do NOTHING to stop this guy.

Bleach. Bleach Everywhere.

Someone left a dirty diaper in one of the carts. No, I didn't see the failure of humanity who did that. Yes, when I found it, I threw it out, took the cart outside and sprayed bleach all over it.

*

And that's it. Cannot wait to see whose blood will be spilled. Mine, GGTS, Minty Fresh or some customer that decided to walk about with an open vein on something.

[fireheart]

Gym teacher ordered 11 8x10" photos yesterday night and paid for them. Our 8x10 printer decided it wanted to malfunction for no good reason. Literally. It had ribbon, it had paper, it was turned on, it was set in the right spot on the photo lab, we pleaded with it, we swore at it, we offered it the souls of freshly killed stupid customers....

Wait, so you perform ritual sacrifices every day?

She pushed 4 dimes and a small pile of pennies at S3. S3 takes no shit from anyone.

"Really? You're not getting this. A, you're already toasted, and B, that's not enough. Pay me more or get the hell out."

Good plan. Aside from it not being enough that is, who knows what drinking a ton of mouthwash will do. I know this is going to sound strange, but is it possible to leave some information regarding AA meetings out for her?

"He's So Swine-ish I'm Surprised He Hasn't Grown A Snout And A Tail Already."

S3 will run and hide from him when he's there. Me? I just let him yammer on about everything, since if you've read my thread about "Studmuffin Is A Horny Creep" in CoC, you'll know that store manager will do NOTHING to stop this guy.

Have you tried "Sorry, I'm a necrophiliac?"

[telecom_goddess]

Have you tried "Sorry, I'm a necrophiliac?"

I like it.......

[ralerin]

Good plan. Aside from it not being enough that is, who knows what drinking a ton of mouthwash will do. I know this is going to sound strange, but is it possible to leave some information regarding AA meetings out for her?

Pretty sure that would be solicitation and banned by the managers. I'd like to get her help, but she wouldn't accept it until she recognizes her problem. And I want to avoid a screaming storm that "yer alll jusht profilurs ima gonna...call yer manger thingy pershon and justh...fuck yer assholes"

Have you tried "Sorry, I'm a necrophiliac?"

He would be the type to take me seriously and ask how it's done. along with lots of commenting about how I can find some dead bastard sexy but can't find a real live GGTS sexy so he could give me a real live pussy licking or something.

[EricKei]

I take it your shop does not have a policy that allows you to deny payments made in large amounts of coins... Yet?

[Draper Mel]

Gym teacher was not impressed because "My son is leaving for NYC in 15 minutes to get his big break on Broadway!11!1eleventy!11!!" SM ended up having to refund her the money and poor son is going to have to print his glamour shots in NYC and pay the $10 trillion sales tax. Oh fricken well.

Oh yeah. Those New York agents will be real impressed by drug store 8 x 10s.

Nothing against you, but he'll learn real quick to cough up the money for a real photographer who shoots theatrical headshots.

[Marmalady]

Wait, so you perform ritual sacrifices every day?

Doesn't every store?

[Racket_Man]

Doesn't every store?

Hell there are some nights at my pizza place where a blood offering/sacrifice IS required (usually mine).

[rapana1]

The fabric shop I work at often requires blood from me.
One day I was tidying the shelves of quilting fabric, checking all the edges were neatly tucked under and pinned and stabbed myself (hard enough to draw blood) in the hand with a bent pin. TWICE. Gave up on the craft fabric, went out onto shop floor, picked up display price tag off floor- stabbed myself with its pin.
Gave up, applied more bandaids to fingers, went and tidied things without sharp bits.

Can't hold a candle to OP's stories, however.

[ralerin]

Oh yeah. Those New York agents will be real impressed by drug store 8 x 10s.

Nothing against you, but he'll learn real quick to cough up the money for a real photographer who shoots theatrical headshots.

These probably were by a real photographer that he had the rights to. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention to either him or his big break on Broadway, I was too busy appeasing the damn printer and ringing out customers.

[dalesys]

... a real live pussy licking or something.

Here: Demonstrate on this tiger. If you can get HIM purring, I'll ...


post the video on YouTube.

[morgana]

God's Gift To Swine

I don't know if it would get you in trouble, but there's really only one sure way to get rid of this type.

The truth. Both barrels. Right in the face.

"No, I *don't* want it, and you already know that. You're thirty years too old, fifty pounds too fat, and as slimy as goose guts. I can do better, and we both know it. Go away."

Don't say it like you're angry. Say it like you're bored. Best if you can say it almost deadpan.

As for Drunky McMouthwash, just keep refusing her. Eventually she'll find some other place to get her fix. You can't really help her; she doesn't want to be helped.

[PepperElf]

poor son is going to have to print his glamour shots in NYC

I won't say that the print machines are bad for professional photos. From what I've learned from they're fine to use for professional prints.


Where you might run into trouble is if the machine needs to have the settings adjusted for your image. Not all stores train people on how to operate the machine on manual settings.

My BF just had to toss out some glossy print examples he got from the local store because the machine cropped them when it wasn't suppose to. He didn't find out until he got home and actually looked at the prints.


And a side note of irony, they had "Needs copyright" on the envelope. Apparently they questioned some of the shots because they looked too professional. Although IIRC he has his name embedded in the exif data. But they accepted his statement of, "I have permission."