Well, that was enthusiastic. (not really safe for work)

[wolfie]

If I were a different kind of person... Earl gave me his number. I could troll him so hard.

You might want to get some help from Mary Ann and Wanda if you decide to troll him - I'm sure the Dixie Chicks have their contact info. Goodbye Earl.

[Cooper]

I specialize in 3 forms of photography, and this is the most successful and low-risk type.

Types:

Blur Photography: Deliberately screwing with the camera to 'paint' with the camera. I had to slow down on this since I got my DSLR, because it was harder for me to do, but I figured out how to do it with my new camera.
Portrait: I have enjoyed working with people and animals (more people, as they tend to be more expressive, though I've met some very expressive cats)
Urban Exploration: Abandoned places. There's a ton of abandoned places here. Not like, abandoned mental hospitals or industrial plants.

So portraits are the least physically and economically risky.

[Argabarga]

we met up and went on a walk around the city, through Christchurch Meadows and along the river, stopping occasionally to do pictures along the way. Then, I turn around to change the memory card, turn back and the guy has dropped trou and is smiling at me expectantly. Ew.

Fun and not entirely unrelated fact: nudity has the disadvantage of providing your gentleman's area with next to no protection from the business end of a large three-pronged battery charger.

Extra fun fact: If you choose to cast your trousers aside while making inappropriate advances to your photographer, getting pronged in the nads by a charger could give her enough time to grab said trousers and run away with them, leaving you to make a bare-assed, painful walk of shame back to your college.

The more you know, eh?

Epic Win, love it.

What I really want to know is, what school do these creeps go to that teach them THIS is the proper way to act? They have to be attending classes together, since they ALL seem to creep the same way....

Ignorance is not the answer.

For example, I have NEVER dated and NEVER had a girlfriend and even I KNOW that this is so far out of the range of acceptable that it doesn't even show up on radar. I do not get it, except that it must have worked on SOMEONE at some point in the past, otherwise why would they keep trying?

[Mikkel]

Epic Win, love it.

What I really want to know is, what school do these creeps go to that teach them THIS is the proper way to act? They have to be attending classes together, since they ALL seem to creep the same way....

I think there is a very simple explanation. Where does those people see photos with people in the foreground? There are pictures of accidents, of course, and then there are those other pictures which the internet is for .
Since they are not in an accident (yet), their thoughts turn to porn.

[Cooper]

I sent this to him today. I'm not going to follow through on any of the pseudo-threats, as fun as they'd be. Just used them as examples on why this was a bad idea.

Oh, and I double-checked my post. There was no way to tell what gender I was, genuinely.

"Hi! Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I've been incredibly busy with other responses, and I've been trying to think of a way to respond to you.




What part of my posting made you think it was OKAY TO SEND ME THIS?

It's disgusting, it's perverted, and it's unwarranted. We are not in the 'people seeking people' section. I didn't say I was looking for a date, and trust me, I'm fucking not looking for a date with you. (I would say it's nothing personal, I'm just not into men, but it's totally personal.)

Who the hell raised you!

It was a JOB posting, from a PROFESSIONAL looking for PROFESSIONALS, not professional ASSHOLES.

You think just because this is online that you're anonymous? You sent me your cell phone number, dumbass! If I were so inclined, I could have handed it over to people who would have torn you so many new assholes, because welcome to the internet! There ARE consequences for your actions here! I could have posted your number onto so many sites. Or I could have just decided to troll you myself. Ordered pizza for you, all the 4chan tricks. Or I could have just signed you up for spam calls for every website I could get my hands on. That wouldn't cause any problems, would it? (I'll be sure to make them porn-specific, just for you.)

Plus, I deliberately made my posting gender-neutral. You DON'T KNOW IF I'M FEMALE OR MALE.

Does that even fucking matter, or did you just want an audience for your fantasies? I won't call them sick--even if I'm totally calling BULLSHIT on everything here--because I'm a child of the internet. This is fine.

It's just not fine to send them to random people on craigslist for no reason.

Asshole."

[Dentarthurdent]

Would you like PWNADE with that???

[Zellie Crescent]

Good response, I just hope he decides to never do that again. I'm sorry that happened to you in the first place, some people shouldn't be allowed to use a computer.

[Cooper]

I can't wait to see if he responds to it. I deliberately made it so if he saw a preview of it it'd seem receptive so he'd actually read it.

The hope is, once he reads it, he feels a need to defend himself. Surprisingly, genuine perverts, I've found, dislike being called out.

[Pixilated]

I'd be willing to bet "Earl" has never actually done any of those things. His whole fantasy probably consisted of telling someone that story.

Absolutely. It's just him, his (sticky) porn magazine, his imagination and his ... erm, I'll just stop there ...

Oh god... I feel for you Cooper. I also do a lot of photography, and just started branching out to commercial work. I've had relatives ask me to do sexy style shoots for them, and I thought that was bad. Earl just kinda tops it all though.

I think the niche I'm heading in to of pet photography might be a better fit for me. Unless I get clients asking for sexy shots of their pets...

This is why I've always preferred landscapes. Or, yes, pets, as uncooperative as mine have usually been.

*snip*

Extra fun fact: If you choose to cast your trousers aside while making inappropriate advances to your photographer, getting pronged in the nads by a charger could give her enough time to grab said trousers and run away with them, leaving you to make a bare-assed, painful walk of shame back to your college.

The more you know, eh?

You are my new hero.

[AccountingDrone]

Good response, I just hope he decides to never do that again. I'm sorry that happened to you in the first place, some people shouldn't be allowed to use a computer.

What if you had been a young high schooler looking for someone to shoot for a school project ...

[Cooper]

I got a new one!

"I'll do it. But only because I want to date your friend with the flower"

Oh, sorry to pull your arm.

By the way, 'friend with the flower' is my SISTER.

If I were you, I would back away slowly and carefully.

I will invoke bad karma on myself to deliver it personally to you. (Favorite badass buddhist line: I will personally deliver Karma to you.)

[Jester]

Earl sounds like he's read a bit too many of the letters in Penthouse, and thinks that everyone thinks like those totally believable letters that no one has ever suggested or believed were made up by professional writers.

Well, the Chicks He Dicks have the correct response.

Oh, that video and song are just too rich!

Unless I get clients asking for sexy shots of their pets...

The cynic in me says it won't be a matter of if, but of when. I mean, you just know someone's gonna ask for that!

Fun and not entirely unrelated fact: nudity has the disadvantage of providing your gentleman's area with next to no protection from the business end of a large three-pronged battery charger.

Extra fun fact: If you choose to cast your trousers aside while making inappropriate advances to your photographer, getting pronged in the nads by a charger could give her enough time to grab said trousers and run away with them, leaving you to make a bare-assed, painful walk of shame back to your college.

The more you know, eh?

Speaking of "the more you know," I can't be the only one wondering about "the rest of the story." In other words, what happened to the guy after you bailed on him, with his trousers?

[Cooper]

Again?!

I just want to point out that there has not been one guy that has messaged me who would like to have his clothes on for the shoot. This is the first guy who hasn't wanted to do a porn-style shoot, so points for that I guess.

"Hello,
I am responding to you ad for models on Craigslist and am very interested in posing. I'm am trying to become art photography drawing painting ect (preferably nude). With the payment being getting the photos you take, I thought this could be a great opportunity to start my portfolio with the quality photos. Please let me know if you are interested. I look forward to hearing from you soon
Thanks,
Jeff"

Just makes me think of an art teacher.

See the art
Feel the art
BE TEH ART

[sms001]

(preferably nude).... Thanks, Jeff

Well, kudos to Jeff and his ginourmous self-esteem I guess. He prolly imagines that just the sight of his all together will accomplish his nefarious goals, so no need to spell it out.

[Seshat]

Blur Photography: Deliberately screwing with the camera to 'paint' with the camera. I had to slow down on this since I got my DSLR, because it was harder for me to do, but I figured out how to do it with my new camera.
Urban Exploration: Abandoned places. There's a ton of abandoned places here. Not like, abandoned mental hospitals or industrial plants.

Regarding the urban exploration; that would be safer with a friend, wouldn't it?

The blur photography: I will often take screenshots in a game, then tweak them in the Gimp. It takes time (I will cut out the sections I want crisp, save them to a new layer, then play with the blurrable-layer/s until I get the effect/s I want).

I totally appreciate that you get different results blurring with the camera vs blurring with Photoshop/the Gimp/etc; but is it possible that using PS/Gimp is cheaper?