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So this came in on my personal junk mail, and I'd ALMOST believe it....but until they come knocking on my door....I thought I'd pass along this humorous email I recieved.
DO NOT PRINT /FORWARD THIS MAIL ITS AGAINST THE LAW
This e-mail, including any attachments, is covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 10 U.S.C. 2510-2521
ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS WASHINGTON DC
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS J.EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
Ref: FBI/DC/25/113/13/2014
http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/executives/director
Your attention is needed immediately
We have been informed through our global intelligence monitoring network that the sum of $10.500, 000.00, has been released from a bank in Africa bearing your name as the beneficiary without dist certificate to clear your name and fund from every terrorist or drug or money laundering activities
We sincerely apologize for sending you this sensitive information via e-mail instead of a certified mail, phone call or a face-to-face conversation,We will also send you a certified email later it is due to the urgency and importance of the security information needed. To checkmate financial recklessness, illegal gambling, racketeering and considering the effect of the global financial crisis rocking the United States, our government with the help of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (F.B.I) Washington, DC and the internet crime complaint center (ic3),alongside the CIA signed an agreement with U.K police for an immediate release of all overdue funds presently logged in their treasury and to ensure it is disbursed to the rightful beneficiaries in all parts of the world. If you the beneficiary would adhere to our instruction it will help you receive your payment immediately
The bank knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to make this payment from any part of the world to your account directly, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment (s.d.t.p) method to make the payment. direct transfers are difficult and secret diplomatic transit payment (s.d.t.p) are not usually made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities and we ask why must your payment be made in a secret transfer if your transaction is legitimate.
We do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your personal account, so it is our duty as an international agency to correct these little problems before this fund reflects into your personal account.
we advise you to contact us immediately, as your funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody, until you are able to provide us with the dist certificate within 3 days from the country that authorized the transfer to certify that the funds that you are about to receive are terrorist/drug free or we shall have cause to impound the payment and subsequently prosecute you for cross border terrorist financial activites.
based on our findings, our investigative department wish to warn you against some miscreants, hoodlums and touts who go about scamming innocent people by claiming to be who they are not and thereby tarnishing the image of this wonderful country. By sending out fraudulent emails without our official logo and emblem we shall release your funds immediately we receive this legal document and we will ensure that you receive your payment without any further delay.
Note
We decided to contact you directly by email to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the huge amount involved. Be informed that the funds are now with a top bank in the united state in your name and under the monitoring/custody of the FBI. At the moment, we have asked the bank not to release the fund to anybody that comes to them, unless we instruct them to do so, and only if we receive the dist certificate this is to enable us carry out a comprehensive investigation first before releasing the fund to you.
hence, you are to forward your dist certificate to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you do not have it, then let us know so that we will direct you to the appropriate authority to obtain the certificate then you are to send it to our office. And thereafter, we will instruct the bank holding the funds, to go ahead and credit your account immediately. If you fail to provide the documents to this office, we will prosecute you and take appropriate action against you for not proving the legality of the funds.
Finally if you truly want to receive this funds without F.B.I troubles then reconfirm the following below
Name………………………………………………….
Address………………………………………………..
Sex………………………………………………………
Age............................................... ......................
Contact number………………………………………..
Country of origin of funds……………………………..
Yours Faithfully
Stuart M. Kelly Special Agent
151 Patton Ave
Room211 Asheville N.C.28801
FOR FBI DIRECTOR
JAMES B COMEY
cc: general intelligence department (GID)
cc federal bureau of investigation (fFBIi)
cc .internet crime complaint center (ic3)
cc: Asia pacific group on money laundering (APG)
cc: international monetary fund (IMF)
cc: international organization of securities commissions (IOSCO)
cc: international banking security association (IBSA)
cc: world customs organization (WCO)
cc: inter-American development bank (IADB)
cc: national white collar crime center (NW3C)
cc: bureau of justice assistance (BJA)
cc: supreme court of South Africa(SCA)
LEGAL NOTICE:
Unless expressly stated otherwise, this message is confidential and may be privileged. It is intended for the addressee(s) only. Access to this e-mail by anyone else is unauthorized. If you are not an addressee, any disclosure or copying of the contents or any action taken (or not taken) in reliance on it is unauthorized and may be unlawful. If you are not an addressee, please inform the sender immediately.
AVISO LEGAL:
Salvo que se indique lo contrario, este mensaje es confidencial y puede ser privilegiada. Se pretende a su destinatario (s)solamente. El acceso a este e-mail por cualquier otra persona no estб autorizado. Si usted no es un destinatario, cualquier divulgaciуn o copia de lacontenidos ni de cualquier acciуn realizada (o no) en la dependencia en que no estб autorizado y puede ser ilegal. Si no son unadestinatario, por favor notifique al remitente de inmediato
DO NOT PRINT /FORWARD THIS MAIL ITS AGAINST THE LAW
This e-mail, including any attachments, is covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 10 U.S.C. 2510-2521
This e-mail, including any attachments, is covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 10 U.S.C. 2510-2521
ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS WASHINGTON DC
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS J.EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
Ref: FBI/DC/25/113/13/2014
http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/executives/director
Your attention is needed immediately
We have been informed through our global intelligence monitoring network that the sum of $10.500, 000.00, has been released from a bank in Africa bearing your name as the beneficiary without dist certificate to clear your name and fund from every terrorist or drug or money laundering activities
We sincerely apologize for sending you this sensitive information via e-mail instead of a certified mail, phone call or a face-to-face conversation,We will also send you a certified email later it is due to the urgency and importance of the security information needed. To checkmate financial recklessness, illegal gambling, racketeering and considering the effect of the global financial crisis rocking the United States, our government with the help of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (F.B.I) Washington, DC and the internet crime complaint center (ic3),alongside the CIA signed an agreement with U.K police for an immediate release of all overdue funds presently logged in their treasury and to ensure it is disbursed to the rightful beneficiaries in all parts of the world. If you the beneficiary would adhere to our instruction it will help you receive your payment immediately
The bank knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to make this payment from any part of the world to your account directly, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment (s.d.t.p) method to make the payment. direct transfers are difficult and secret diplomatic transit payment (s.d.t.p) are not usually made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities and we ask why must your payment be made in a secret transfer if your transaction is legitimate.
We do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your personal account, so it is our duty as an international agency to correct these little problems before this fund reflects into your personal account.
we advise you to contact us immediately, as your funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody, until you are able to provide us with the dist certificate within 3 days from the country that authorized the transfer to certify that the funds that you are about to receive are terrorist/drug free or we shall have cause to impound the payment and subsequently prosecute you for cross border terrorist financial activites.
based on our findings, our investigative department wish to warn you against some miscreants, hoodlums and touts who go about scamming innocent people by claiming to be who they are not and thereby tarnishing the image of this wonderful country. By sending out fraudulent emails without our official logo and emblem we shall release your funds immediately we receive this legal document and we will ensure that you receive your payment without any further delay.
Note
We decided to contact you directly by email to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the huge amount involved. Be informed that the funds are now with a top bank in the united state in your name and under the monitoring/custody of the FBI. At the moment, we have asked the bank not to release the fund to anybody that comes to them, unless we instruct them to do so, and only if we receive the dist certificate this is to enable us carry out a comprehensive investigation first before releasing the fund to you.
hence, you are to forward your dist certificate to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you do not have it, then let us know so that we will direct you to the appropriate authority to obtain the certificate then you are to send it to our office. And thereafter, we will instruct the bank holding the funds, to go ahead and credit your account immediately. If you fail to provide the documents to this office, we will prosecute you and take appropriate action against you for not proving the legality of the funds.
Finally if you truly want to receive this funds without F.B.I troubles then reconfirm the following below
Name………………………………………………….
Address………………………………………………..
Sex………………………………………………………
Age............................................... ......................
Contact number………………………………………..
Country of origin of funds……………………………..
Yours Faithfully
Stuart M. Kelly Special Agent
151 Patton Ave
Room211 Asheville N.C.28801
FOR FBI DIRECTOR
JAMES B COMEY
cc: general intelligence department (GID)
cc federal bureau of investigation (fFBIi)
cc .internet crime complaint center (ic3)
cc: Asia pacific group on money laundering (APG)
cc: international monetary fund (IMF)
cc: international organization of securities commissions (IOSCO)
cc: international banking security association (IBSA)
cc: world customs organization (WCO)
cc: inter-American development bank (IADB)
cc: national white collar crime center (NW3C)
cc: bureau of justice assistance (BJA)
cc: supreme court of South Africa(SCA)
LEGAL NOTICE:
Unless expressly stated otherwise, this message is confidential and may be privileged. It is intended for the addressee(s) only. Access to this e-mail by anyone else is unauthorized. If you are not an addressee, any disclosure or copying of the contents or any action taken (or not taken) in reliance on it is unauthorized and may be unlawful. If you are not an addressee, please inform the sender immediately.
AVISO LEGAL:
Salvo que se indique lo contrario, este mensaje es confidencial y puede ser privilegiada. Se pretende a su destinatario (s)solamente. El acceso a este e-mail por cualquier otra persona no estб autorizado. Si usted no es un destinatario, cualquier divulgaciуn o copia de lacontenidos ni de cualquier acciуn realizada (o no) en la dependencia en que no estб autorizado y puede ser ilegal. Si no son unadestinatario, por favor notifique al remitente de inmediato
DO NOT PRINT /FORWARD THIS MAIL ITS AGAINST THE LAW
This e-mail, including any attachments, is covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 10 U.S.C. 2510-2521
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