PIMPJUICE.

[depechemodefan]

SC: “I’ve called 411 three times now and they keep giving me this number. I know it’s the wrong number but do you have the right number?”

No, no I do not have the right number. Why would you even think I had the right number? You’re fully aware this is the wrong number. Thus you are aware that I am nowhere near the right number, not related to the right number and there is no expectation or even chance that I would know anything about the right number. Yet, either from the port of desperation or abject stupidity, you have launched forth your rickety bamboo inquiry into Hurricane Common Sense in the hopes that maybe, MAYBE it would somehow survive and wash up on the shores of the new world.

That reminds me of 411 here. Say you want the "Brown library" phone number. you call 411. They give you the number to the Downtown library. You call fro the phone number to the library outside the city, but in the same county (which is another system). 411 will give you the number to the Downtown library. You want the number for the Gold University library. 411 will give the number of the Downtown library. Guess what happens when the librarian at the Downtown library answers:

Librarian: Hi, this is reference, how can I help you?
Poor sap: Yeah, your the library by the school?
Librarian: No, we are downtown.
Poor sap: But 411 gave us your number!
Librarian: 411 does that. They won't look up numbers for individual libraries, they give people our number all the time. But I know the number of the library you are talking about. It's....

Yeah, don't know why 411 is like that. And yes, we usually know what people mean when they say "...the library by the school" or "the library by Target." When there are over 30 of the city libraries and 15 of the county libraries.

[Gravekeeper]

While it is beyond me too, the mental image doesn't seem to strike as much fear and horror in me as in other members. Does that mean I lost my sanity ?

No, you're probably just desensitized and/or have finally given up hope ;p

[Samaliel]

Which means I'm ready to work retail : I heard you had to abandon all hope before entering Hell.

[edible_hat]

Today my co-worker told me about a new energy drink called Pornstar that allegedly contains herbal viagra.

[Samaliel]

I'm so not googling that. At least, not while I'm still at work.

[cloudiko]

Wow, GK....

Just Wow....

How anyone can go out in public with their brillo pad showing is beyond me.

Did the carpet at least match the drapes ?

ShootMePlease....


GK...I think you broke my brain. Yikes.

[monolayth]

Just so you know. I decided to read this while at work. I am giggling my ass off and choking a bit on my lemonaide. Also you try to make it through a call when you just read the brillo pad line.

[DesignFox]

I enjoyed the post as usual, GK, but now I'm wondering...What the hell is a Timbit?

[edible_hat]

What the hell is a Timbit?

It's a bit of someone named Tim. Like a finger or an ear or a foreskin...

[cinema guy]

In the great white north that is Canada there is the annual running of the Tims, where anyone named Timothy is released into the snowy wilderness and given an hour head start. Then they are hunted down by the denizens of Nanavut, and their body parts are salted, smoked and fried in batter to make Timbits. Any who make it to the fabled 'Skyrail' can escape to the mystical paradise that is Vancouver.

[DesignFox]

edible_hat and cinema guy....I think I need some brain bleach...

So what is it really?

[Pagan]

SC: “Yer like, the biggest fag. Gaylord.”
Me: “…..”
SC: “Really, you’re like a huge idiot. Fag.”
Me: “I’m not the one that called the wrong number.”
SC: "FAG!"

"I know you are, but what am I?"

Gravekeeper, I am so very sorry. Sadly Pimpjuice originated in St. Louis, MO. It is a subpar energy drink made by a local rapper that those who think they are "gansta" drink here. I shiver to think what it will do to the cretin you deal in Nunavut.

Hate to break it to ya, GK but there is a song with the same name made by the same rapper who did the drink.

Yeah, that would be Nelly, and not really a "local" rapper anymore. Although, I do have to admit that I like "Country Grammer".

JACK RUSSEL TERRIER VERSION
Jeez Gravekeeper Omigawd, Dude you've got an interesting job. On the bright side Omigawd, Dude you've got entertainment. On second thought Omigawd, Dude alot of this seems irritating to you Omigawd, Dude so that would be our entertainment Omigawd, Dude wouldn't it? At least you're desensitized to the point it's only irritating Omigawd, Dude and not something that makes you want to run out of the office to the nearest gas station to pour gas on yourself and light it while singing "Come all ye Faithful"

Ohmagawd, that, like, totally, like, sounds like a bunch of, like, Valley Girls! Like, gag me!

Today my co-worker told me about a new energy drink called Pornstar that allegedly contains herbal viagra.

Oh, the hell with that....watermelon's cheaper! http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfun...natural-viagra

One of the guys in class brought in the 32 oz can of Monster one day. The BFC can. And yes, BFC stands for just what you think it does.

I enjoyed the post as usual, GK, but now I'm wondering...What the hell is a Timbit?

I had to look it up, too. It's a donut hole....or a Munchkin if you get it from Dunkin' Donuts.

[repsac]

Red Bull...eh.

I quit drinking the energy drinks when I found out just where taurine comes from.

[edible_hat]

I quit drinking the energy drinks when I found out just where taurine comes from.

What's so bad about laboratories? Or did you fall for the urban myth about bull's testicles?

[Kirkygirl]

Oh dear GOD this is one of the reasons I like staying in Small Town X. Vancouver's fun (sometimes) but the people there can be quite nasty if you aren't careful.

-off topic-
I've heard Terminal Ave ain't that nice to hang out around. GK, is this right?